


The Distance Between Hearts

by ThePackWantstheD



Series: No Matter Where You Are [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2015 IIHF Ice Hockey World Championships, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Relationship, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Long-Distance Relationship, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Minor Injuries, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Claude Giroux met Sidney Crosby, he was trespassing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rimouski to Orleans (455 Miles, 732 Kilometers)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by this post (http://floating-screwdrivers.tumblr.com/post/139768913688/more-someday-i-will-write-a-fic-about-sidney ) and betaed by RachelMantegna who is lovely and amazing.

** x. **

The first time Claude Giroux met Sidney Crosby he was trespassing. 

He'd been so frustrated at everything that was going on, the way the OHL treated him that he was incapable of playing just because he was smaller than some of the other guys, and he'd needed to let all the anger simmering under his skin in out in the way that had always worked for him. He needed to get his feet on ice and feel cold air biting at his cheeks as he whipped pucks into the net.  

So despite how late it was getting to be, he made his way to a rink that was far enough away from his house that no one would recognize him, but close enough that he could make it back before his mother woke up and noticed he was gone. 

He was a little surprised to find the rink doors unlocked when he reached them. It was one of his teammates that had told him about this place and he’d been pretty sure that Claude would at least need to mess with the handle a bit before the lock would come undone. He shrugged it off without much thought, though, and hiked his bag further up his shoulder so he could pull open one of the heavy doors. 

The lights were on inside, but Claude didn’t find that all that strange either. It was possible they were motion sensitive and that just the movement of the door had been enough to set them off or that someone had simply forgot to turn them off before they left. 

He made it all the way to the home bench before he realized there was somebody already on the ice. 

"Oh," slipped out of his mouth. 

It had left his mouth softly, but it echoed loudly through the empty stadium. 

The boy already on the ice had been standing at the center line with his head tilted down as he focused on the puck in front of him, but when Claude spoke he raised his head and whipped around. The sharp, sudden motion sent ice kicking up around his ankles. 

They stared at each other for a minute, two sets of brown eyes locked on each other, before Claude said, "Fuck, really? This is my life now?" 

Because while this was the first time Claude had actually met him, everybody in Canada knew who Sidney Crosby was and Sidney Crosby was pretty much the last person Claude wanted to see after the day - week - month - _year_ he'd been having. 

"Um...." Sidney drew out. He was shifting from skate to skate and glancing around like he didn't know what to do. If Claude hadn't been so irritated, he might have found it funny how awkward Sidney was. "How'd you get in? The place is supposed to be closed.” 

"The door was unlocked. I didn’t realize it was after hours," Claude answered, only half lying. He tightened his grip on the strap of his bag. "It’s fine. I'll just head home." 

"You don't have to!" Sidney called, taking a step towards Claude. He flushed immediately and skated backwards. He looked at the ice instead of meeting Claude's eyes as he said, "I’m going to be here for a while and I only need half the ice to practice. You could use the other half if you wanted.” 

Part of Claude wanted to object just on principle, but the ice was right there in front of him and it was so hard to say no with it right there. He gave a small nod. "Alright. Thanks." 

Sidney gave a small, nervous smile and a nod before he went back to shooting. Claude watched him for a few moments, feeling perplexed by the entire situation, before he turned away to pull his gear on. 

For a long time, the only sound in the rink was the scratch of their skates and the swish of the nets as puck after puck was shot in. 

The irritation under Claude's skin burned as bright as it had been when he got there. 

Usually, hockey helped him worked through things, but the longer he stood there shooting the more he thought about how unfair this whole situation was. He was _good._ Maybe he wasn’t great yet, but he could be. Yet no one was willing to take a chance on him and he couldn’t figure out why. 

He felt a few seconds away from breaking his stick over his knee. 

"Hey." Claude felt his anger flare at Sidney's voice. There was something so infuriating about being confronted with someone who had everything you wanted. He took a deep breath, trying to stomp down on the anger, before turning to see him. Sidney was turned towards him, his expression nervous. "Do you want some advice?" 

"What." 

"Advice?" he repeated. "You're looking really frustrated so I figured something wasn't going the way you wanted? When I can't get something right running over it with other people helps. Hence...advice?" 

Claude pursed his lips. He didn't want to accept his help, wanted to prove that he could be just as good as Sidney Crosby without any help, but at the same time he knew it would be fucking stupid to wave off this opportunity.

After a moment, he gave a curt nod. "Yeah, okay. That'd be great."

 

 

 

**i.**

There was no slow build to their friendship.

By the end of that night Claude had Sidney Crosby's number in his phone and by the end of the week Claude wasn't going more than two or three hours without hearing from Sid. 

The first few weeks were a flurry of text messages. 

Sometimes they talked about hockey, though it wasn’t often. Instead Claude sent half his messages in French and laughed for ages when Sid used google translate to figure out what he meant only to come back with something that was entirely wrong. Instead Sidney made himself food and sent messages mocking Claude for his lack of ability to do the same. Instead they kept a running tally of each time their sisters annoyed them and exchanged explanations for why theirs was worse. 

The phone calls were kick started by an argument they had about their favorite classic hockey teams. Claude had called Sidney on impulse because Sid's opinion was so utterly wrong that he couldn't correct it over text. It had been unexpected, but Sid seemed to adjust to the shouting fairly quickly and rolled with it.

After that they were on the phone for a few hours every few nights. Claude talked about the movies that had come out, because he had more time to go see things then Sid did. Sid talked about the books he was reading, because he was traveling more than Claude was and read while doing it. They argued, opinions and personalities clashing often, but it was in good humor and their arguments usually ended up with teasing and laughter. 

It took a while before they were able to meet again. Rimouski and Orleans were a good seven hours apart and as much as they connected the trip just wasn't worth it in the early days of their friendship. As the weeks went by and they grew closer, it became something that they talked about more seriously. 

The first visit was on a sunny weekend at the end of October, almost four months after they'd first met. Sid played against the Tigres on Friday and got permission from his billet family to go to Claude's for the weekend afterwards. Getting Sid from Victoriaville to Orleans had involved Claude picking up extra chores for two weeks to pay for his father's gas, but Claude thought it was worth it. 

They went to play laser tag and split a tray of nachos that were definitely not in Sidney's diet plan. They sprawled themselves out on Claude's couch and watched Spiderman 2 since Sid still hadn't seen it. They stayed up late, telling each other stories and laughing at jokes that weren't that funny, and spent the next morning hanging off of each other as they struggled to stay awake long enough to eat their pancakes. 

By the time they piled into the car to take Sid back to Victoriaville, he would be catching the bus up to Rimouski, Claude knew he was going to be doing a lot of extra chores. 

As nice as it was to be with each other, neither of them minded the stretches of time when the only thing they had were text messages and phone calls. They both needed something in their lives that wasn't hockey and they were happiest with each other filling that space. 

It didn't matter how they did that.

 

 

 

**xx.**

Sidney laid stomach down on his bed. Claude was stretched out on his back next to him, one arm tucked behind his head and the other hand resting on his chest. Their sides were pressed together from shoulder to calf. 

It was their fourth visit, Claude's second time coming up to Rimouski to see Sid. When Claude left on Sunday, Sid would be heading to Cole Harbor so he could spend Christmas with his parents. 

"So finally I settled on one of those charm bracelet kits," Sidney declared, wrapping up his rant about how hard it had been to choose a Christmas present for Taylor. "I mean, eight year olds like that kinda thing don't they?" When Claude's only response was a soft hum, Sid's lips dropped into a frown. He turned his head to look at him. "You're not even listening to me, are you?" 

"I am absolutely listening to you," Claude declared. His eyes were closed and he didn't bother opening them to talk to Sid. 

"You are not," Sid argued. 

"You just said that you got Taylor a charm bracelet kit for Christmas. You thought about getting her a hockey stick, but you know she's only just started skating and you don't want to pressure her," Claude repeated. He peeked one eyes open, his lips stretching in a smug smile. "Right?" 

Sid wanted to say something back, make a snide comment about Claude missing a word or give a reluctant apology, but he was sudden caught up in staring at Claude. 

He'd thought about how attractive Claude was before, but there had always been a kind of dangerous edge to his looks. Lying in Sid's bed with beams of sunlight streaking across his face and sleepy fondness in his eyes, Claude looked soft in a way he didn't usually. It made him look more available, like something Sidney could actually grasp in his hands without worrying about getting hurt. 

"Hey," Sid murmured, his voice coming out quietly. "Can I try something?" 

Claude hummed, "Go for it." 

Sidney pushed himself up shifted so he was hovering over Claude, one knee between Claude's legs and his hands on either side of his head. He could see Claude watching him as he leaned down towards him. He stopped right before their lips touched, breathing out "Is this okay?" 

Claude moved the hand that'd been resting on his stomach, settling his palm on the back of Sid's neck. The weight of it was warm and grounding. "I wouldn't have told you to go for it if it wasn't." 

Sidney's lips felt dry all of a sudden. 

He could feel Claude following the movement when he let his tongue dart across them. 

"Sid," Claude murmured, his voice slow and syrupy. "Would you kiss me already?" 

"I can do that." 

The kiss was different than any of the others Sidney had had. Claude's lips were rougher than any of the girls Sidney had kissed, chapped and cracking from being bitten during hockey games, and there was a scratchy quality to Claude's skin that promised facial hair in the future. 

The difference wasn't just physical. Every kiss Sidney had shared with a girl had been a little bit frantic and sloppy, but the kiss with Claude was slower. Not tentative exactly, but something close to it. It was like this one meant something different, something more than any of the kisses with girls at after game parties did, and they wanted to make sure it was good for both of them.   

When they pulled apart, Sidney felt a little a little overwhelmed and out of breath. 

Without thinking about it, he tipped his forehead against Claude's. He let out a soft breath, his eyes fluttering closed. 

"Yeah?" Claude muttered. 

Most of Sidney's frustration with Claude came from his inability to follow his train of thought, but in this one moment Sid had a pretty clear idea of what Claude was asking.

He shifted all of his weight onto one of his hands so he could use the other to reach up and grab the one that Claude had settled on his neck. He pulled Claude's hand away from his skin, twining their fingers together before pressing them into the mattress again. 

"Yeah," Sid agreed with a small nod. He opened his eyes, feeling a grin pull at his lips as he met Claude's eyes. "Yeah." 

 

 

 

**ii.**

Sidney hadn't realized that he and Claude already acted like a couple until they were actually together and their relationship barely changed. 

Most of the changes between them involved how tactile they were with each other. Claude took to tucking himself into Sid's side, an amazing feat considering they were pretty much the same height, and Sid picked up a habit of playing with Claude's fingers when he got bored with a movie or conversation. They'd always shared beds when visiting each other, but now Claude would wake up with Sidney latched on to him like an octopus. When they were first waking, Sidney would bury his face into Claude's neck to get away from the sunlight and run his fingers through Claude's hair while grumbling about how stupid it looked when it was gelled. There was the addition of kissing to their relationship as well, Sidney giving quick pecks whenever he could and Claude dragging Sidney into his lap for ones that left them both breathless when they were alone. 

The touching was a fairly minor change to their relationship, though. 

Even the changes that took some adjusting too weren't strictly speaking bad like the sudden interest Claude's parents took in Sid. 

It wasn't like his parents hadn't been nice when Sidney visited before, but there was a marked difference in their treatment of him after he and Claude began dating. They had asked him casual questions before, but now they seemed more interested in actually knowing him. Claude's mother asked him about his favorite foods on the drive to their house one day and the next night some of his favorite dishes were on the table. Claude's father asked him about his interests outside of hockey and listened diligently when Sidney started ranting about history. Claude had looked embarrassed by his mother's actions and rolled his eyes when Sidney was talking to his father, but there had been a small smile on his face when Sidney snuck a glance at him.

The more time Sidney spent in Orleans, the more he started to think of it as home. It wasn't Cole Harbor was, but Orleans had Claude and that was enough to make Sidney feel happier there than in Rimouski.

 

 

 

**xxx.**

Claude shut his bedroom door and turned the lock before pushing Sidney down onto the bed. 

"Claude?" Sidney said, voice confused and questioning. 

Claude ignored him. He pushed Sidney's chest until Sid got the message and scooted backwards so his back was against the wall. Without saying anything Claude climbed into his lap and buried his face in Sid's neck. 

"Oh," Sidney murmured as understanding dawned on him. He wrapped one arm around Claude's waist while rubbing the other up and down Claude's back. "This sucks. I'm sorry, Claude." 

"Shut up," Claude snapped, cold anger dripping from his tone. 

He knew he was throwing mixed signals here, but he couldn't help it. He loved every nerdy hockey obsessed piece of Sidney, but this was one of those moments when he wished his boyfriend wasn't Sidney Crosby. He wanted his boyfriend to comfort him, but there was nothing more irritating to him then listening to Sidney pretend to understand what Claude went through when it came to hockey. He had been drafted first in the Q and everyone knew he was going first in the NHL draft that summer. 

He didn’t understand what it was like to go undrafted in the OHL for the second time in a row. 

Claude took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "Sorry. I didn't mean that." 

"Yeah, you did," Sidney said, because he knew Claude too well to believe a lie like that. "It's alright though." 

"It's not," Claude said. He shifted so he was situated a little lower on Sid's legs and could lean over to press his forehead against his shoulder without it killing his back. "It’s just so frustrating. I don't know what I'm doing wrong here." 

"I don't know either."

Claude let out a small huff. "Yeah, right." 

"I'm being serious, Claude," Sidney said. He ducked his hand under Claude's shirt and the warmth of his palm running up Claude's spine was grounding. "I don't know why you're not being drafted either. You're a great player. I'm not going to lie and say I think you're ready for the NHL, but you're definitely ready for the OHL."

A beat passed before Claude deflated a bit. He pressed a little tighter to Sidney and Sid held him tighter. "That didn’t make me feel any better. I think I might actually feel worse now.”

"I know." Sidney turned, pressing a kiss to Claude's temple. "I’m sorry.”

They fell quiet after that.

 

 

 

**iii.**

No one, save Sidney himself maybe, was surprised when Sid went first to the Penguins.

Claude was at home watching the draft with his family and the living room had exploded when Sid's name was called. Claude and his father had both let out loud whoops, Claude jumping to his feet in his excitement, and his little sister had given a loud cheer. He liked to act like it bothered him how much his family liked Sid, but there was something nice about the fact that his family was just as excited for Sid's draft as he was.

Claude knew exactly when Sid got a free moment because his phone lit up in his pocket. He'd slipped into the kitchen, his family had settled back down and he didn't want them listening to his conversation, to answer it. They hadn't gotten to speak for long since Sidney had a ton of draftee obligations to take care of, but Claude spent several minutes whispering to Sid about how proud of him he was.

Sidney was subdued at the beginning of the conversation, as if he thought Claude was going to let the OHL ruin how proud he was of Sid, but after a little while Sid opened up. Claude loved hearing the unbound excitement and breathy happiness in Sid's voice.

They'd talked about how they were going to make their relationship work prior to the draft, because as much as Sidney had tried to deny that he'd get picked first Claude had known, and Claude had been kind of leery about how the new distance would change things between them.

Hearing how excited Pittsburgh made Sidney made Claude think that whole thing would be worth it.

He could deal with only seeing Sidney on the holidays as long as Sidney stayed that happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I'm warning ya'll now, I write massive endnotes which include my thoughts on all things in the fic so you might wanna just close out now if you dont wanna read my opinions.
> 
> 2) I'm pretty sure this is pretty clear in the fic x scenes are scenes while i scenes are like interludes? They tell more then show. I wanted to cover so many aspects of their relationship and I thought this was the best way?
> 
> 3) THE TIMELINE AND LOCATIONS FOR THIS FIC WERE SO HARD TO GET DOWN. After much searching of wikipedia, I think I got it down but I could be wrong. 
> 
> 4) The first interlude includes what is a fairly poorly written sentence talking about how Claude and Sid fit into the spaces of each other that aren't hockey but you'll notice hockey is a fairly big thing throughout (this includes a lot of moments which are about their respective hockey careers) this fic. This is because while they both love hockey, the two of them don't play together or anything. It's like....Kaner and Tazer are one of my favorite pairings in the league okay? As a couple in fics or as a broship in their rls. But Kaner and Tazer's relationship will always include hockey. It's not just about hockey obviously but hockey is a huge part of it because they play together. It's not the same for Claude and Sid and I hope I explained this well?
> 
> 5) WHY WAS SIDNEY AT AN ICE RINK IN ONTARIO WHEN HE DOESNT LIVE OR PLAY IN ONTARIO?? WHO KNOWS! Rachel (See note on beta above) suggested that since Sid would have played Gatineau which is seriously close to the border, it's possible that that rink was simply the the closest to Sid post-game and I think that's a fairly reasonable assumption to make. 
> 
> 6) So I don't read a lot of Penns fic (I mostly read Benn/Seguin and Kane/Toews) but I think Sid might have been at boarding school when he played in juniors? Not with a billet family as he is in this fic? Apologies if that's true.
> 
> 7) There's in line in this that is unintentionally a reference to Holes.
> 
> 8) I struggled /a lot/ with the second interlude in this chapter? I just couldn't get it to read in a way that I liked. Does it seem awkward to you as well or am I just being harsh on myself?
> 
> 9) Did some editing and rewriting on this chapter, so if you notice any new issues or anything please let me know so I can fix them!


	2. Orleans to Pittsburgh (557 miles, 897 kilometers)

**x.**

Sidney was in the car with Mario, on their way to the house after training camp, when he checked his phone to see a missed call from Claude. He frowned and felt a small flare of worry in his gut.

He knew most people wouldn't have flipped out over one missed call, but Claude knew Sidney's schedule as well as Sidney did. When he had something he wanted to tell Sid while he was busy, he usually just left Sid a text message for him to reply to later. The fact that he'd called Sid even though he'd known he would be spending his morning listening to end of camp speeches was enough to throw Sid off balance.

"Everything okay?" Mario asked.

"What?" Sid looked up from his phone screen to see Mario was glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes. There was a look on his face that made it clear he had caught on to Sid's distress. "Oh. Yeah. I think so. Claude's just being weird."

Shortly after getting signed, Sidney had met up with PR. It was supposed to be a perfunctory meeting just to make sure Sid understood what was expected of him, but he'd brought up his sexuality and Claude so that they could start preparing a plan. He didn't have any intention of coming out, not when he was a rookie and definitely not before Claude had figured things out for his own career, but he wanted to make they had all of their bases covered just in case something slipped.

He'd been nervous about facing Mario afterwards since they'd already known Sid was going to be billeting with the Lemieux's at that point, but Mario hadn't made a big deal out of it. He'd just asked Sidney about Claude in a way that was seemed perfectly natural, like he was asking Sidney about his boyfriend the same way he'd ask any other player about their girlfriend or wife.

Sidney caught his lip between his teeth. He didn't want to be rude to Mario by getting on the phone when they were in the car together, but he wanted to make sure everything was okay on Claude's end. "Do you mind if I give him a call?"

"Nah," Mario dismissed. "Go ahead. I'll keep the music low."

Sidney gave Mario a small smile before pressing to dial Claude's number.

The phone hadn't rung more than twice before it picked up.

"Sid!" Claude exclaimed when he answered. Sidney felt a spark of surprise. He'd been anticipating something bad, but Claude's voice was loud with excitement and unrestrained happiness. "Hey!"

"Hey," Sidney said. He hadn't gotten to talk to Claude much during training camp, he'd been running around constantly as he trained and got to know his teammates, and he hadn't realized until now how much he missed him. It was easy to relax and let Claude's voice wash over him now that he knew that whatever had happened was something good. Really good if Claude’s tone was anything to go by. "Why'd you call?"

Claude gave a small hum before saying, "Okay so, here's the thing. I've got a confession to make."

"Oh?"

"The Olympiques invited me to their training camp for a walk-on try out," Claude said.

Sidney felt like the air had been punched from his lungs. "They did?"

"Yeah," Claude said.

He'd been slouched a bit in his seat, but now Sid straightened up. He could feel Mario watching him as he did, but Sid was focused solely on what Claude was telling him. "And?"

"They're going to sign me."

"Holy shit," Sidney breathed out.

Claude let out a laugh, sounding a little breathless. "What would your mother say if she heard you using language like that?"

"She'd understand," Sidney dismissed. A wide grin broke out over his face. "Claude, that's fantastic."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Sidney murmured. He glanced over at Mario before dropping his voice a little lower, aware that he would probably still hear but knowing he would at least respect the privacy the gesture asked for. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too," Claude answered. There was a beat before he added, "And I guess I'm proud of you for surviving your first NHL training camp."

Filled with warm affection and happiness, Sid couldn't do anything but throw his head back and laugh.

 

 

 

**i.**

Sidney's first year in Pittsburgh was rough.

It was tough enough to adjust to not being able to see each other every weekend, but they were usually too busy to talk to each other as well. Text messages had been fine in the beginning, but the longer they went without getting to actually sit down and talk the more frustrated Sid got.

He wanted to hear Claude crow about his goals and rage about his losses. He wanted to hear Claude tell jokes in French and complain about Sidney's atrocious accent when he tried to parrot it back. He wanted to hear Claude complain about how M&M packets were supposed to be sixteen percent green and fourteen percent yellow, but his packet had way more yellow then green. He wanted to listen to Claude try and explain the plot of Star Trek to him, only to get side tracked ranting about how much he loved James T Kirk. He wanted to hear the crinkle of Claude's sheet as he laid in bed and the draw of Claude's voice as it went slow and sleepy.

He just wanted Claude.

If not by his side than at least in his ear.

He'd never been as relieved as he was the day he found out his and Claude's anniversary fell on one of the Penguins days off.

He spent the whole day curled up in his bed with his pajama bottoms on and a skype call open. He got to see Claude's bedhead when he answered the call, a small sleepy grin on his face as he told Sid it was too early to be up even if it was their anniversary. They'd both bought The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy because they'd been too busy with draft stuff to see it when it first came out and Sidney got to watch Claude's body shake with laughter as they watched it. When Claude grabbed his laptop and took it downstairs so he could make food, Sidney got to say hello to his family and laugh when Claude was too busy arguing with his sister to notice he'd placed the cheese for his grilled cheese half off the bread. The disgruntled look on Claude's face when he turned around and saw it at had been so good that Sid lifted his phone to take a picture of the screen. They spent the rest of the afternoon watching a few more movies and gossiping about their teammates.

By the time they hung up, Sidney felt refreshed and happy in a way that hadn't in ages.

It got a little easier after that.

Sid could handle the text messages and five minute phone calls as long as they got to skype for a while every couple of weeks. As long as he got to look at Claude and remind himself that he still had him by his side.

He didn't know what he'd do if he didn't have Claude there to remind him that there was more to his life then just hockey.

 

 

 

**xx.**

It made Claude feel like some kind of heroine in a teenage rom-com, but as soon as the taxi Sidney came in had driven away Claude launched himself down the porch steps and into his arms.

Sidney stumbled back a few steps as Claude slammed against him but managed to keep them upright.

Claude ducked his head, burying his face in Sidney's neck and grabbed the back of Sid's shirt so tightly his knuckles turned white. He could feel Sid's hands on his back, big and firm and pressing into Claude's back to keep him close.

It had been Claude's idea for Sidney to stay in Nova Scotia with his family until after the draft, but that meant that Sidney had been home for almost two months before the two of them saw each other. He hadn't thought it would bother him to wait a few more weeks to see Sid after almost a year apart, but knowing Sid was that close and not seeing him had been a hundred times worse than when he was in Pittsburgh.

"Fuck," Claude swore. He felt Sidney shiver under him as his breath ghosted against his neck and held him just a little tighter. "I missed you so fucking much, Sid."

"I missed you too," Sid said. He pressed his face against Claude's hair. "So much."

They were quiet for a moment, just holding on to each other.

"We're gonna have to let go soon," Claude said, though he didn't make any effort to follow through. "I managed to convince my family to stay inside when you got here, but they're gonna want to see you soon."

Sid gave a tiny laugh. "That's fine. I want to see them too, you know? I like your family."

"Not as much as me though, right?"

"No," Sidney said. His voice had gone a little softer and more affectionate. Claude felt it when he pressed a kiss against his hair. "Not as much as you."

"We are never doing this again," Claude said, firm in the resolution. "A year is too goddamn long to go without seeing your stupid face in person."

He hummed softly. "We won't have to. Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are in the same state.”

"They haven't signed me yet."

"They will. They'd be stupid not to."

Claude let out a laugh of his own. He never quite understood how Sidney could have such complete faith in him even though Claude felt as though he was consistently proving that he didn't deserve it, but it was encouraging non-the-less. 

He pulled away far enough that he could look Sidney in the eyes. He took a moment to let his eyes roam over his face, taking in the hazel color of his eyes and the curve of his lips. Things that just weren't the same over a computer screen. 

"What?" Sidney questioned, tipping his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something on my face?"

Claude gave a shake of his head before ducking forward to press their lips together. Sidney made a soft sound of surprise, but then he was responding eagerly. The kiss was eager and a little sloppy, but it was just the right side of filthy. Sidney’s fingers trailed down the skin at Claude's hips, having slipped under Claude's tee-shirt to grab him there when Claude had moved back from the embrace, and hooked in his belt-loops in order to tug Claude closer.

When they pulled apart, Sidney's lips were plump and spit slicked. He was blinking slowly, a little dazed.

Claude felt his lips curl in a satisfied smile.

"That," Sid said, "was completely unfair. I have to walk inside and hug your mother now."

"Yup," Claude said. He reached down and smacked his hand against Sid's ass, smiling a little wider when Sid yelped and jerked away from the touch in surprise. "Let's go."

 

 

 

**ii.**

The beginning of the summer was a careful balancing act, trying to make sure that Sidney could spend time in Nova Scotia with his family and time in Ontario with Claude, but once they figured it out they slipped into each other’s lives with the same ease as they had when they first began spending their weekends together. 

They'd known that Claude's parents were fine with them sharing a bed, but finding out that Sidney's didn't mind either was a pleasant surprise that they liked to take advantage of by spending their mornings in bed together. 

Even without an alarm clock to wake him up, Sidney tended to wake up early. Most days he would untangle himself from Claude as best he could without waking him up and spend some time messing around on his phone, either checking messages or playing Solitaire, while he waited for him to wake up. On those days, when Claude woke up he would drape himself over Sidney's back to either press his cheek against his shoulder blades as he made sleepy commentary on the dream he'd had that night or wiggle until his whole body was flush against Sidney's back and he could rest his chin against Sid's head and steal his phone to finish the game he'd been playing. Whether Sidney had just begun his game or was three cards from the win, Claude would claim the score was solely because of his genius. Usually Sidney would just laugh and go along with it, but on the rare occasion that they knew for sure they were alone in the house he would flip them so Claude was under him and press kisses against his skin until Claude was doing nothing but praising him. 

Sometimes Claude would wake up while Sidney was trying to untangle himself and Sidney would prop up on one elbow to listen with a fond, amused smile as Claude complained about being up too early. Sometimes he would press tight to Sidney and demand Sidney start talking about history so it would lull him back to sleep. Though Sid would usually comply, tracing shapes on Claude's back with one finger while he retold some story about World War II that he'd read and answering the occasional question, Claude rarely ever went back to sleep. Sometimes Claude would just keep talking until he'd been awake for an hour and had gone from complaints about it being too early to why James Kirk was better than Han Solo without more than a 'uh huh' from Sid. 

Their afternoons didn't have any of the same kind of routine. 

They didn't spend much time in places where Sid could get recognized, even as a rookie he was pretty well known, but occasionally they would venture out to a fitness center they'd found with rock walls and obstacle courses or to a bowling alley that wasn't far from Claude's house. 

They tried to get competitive at the fitness center, but mostly they just got distracted watching each other. Claude would stand at the bottom of the rock wall to watch Sidney's ass as he climbed instead of going himself and any time they did the obstacle course Sidney would focus on the way Claude's arms flexed as he climbed the rope while forgetting that it was supposed to be a race. They’d ended up exchanging chirps and sweaty kisses. 

Claude was unrealistically good at bowling, so Sidney didn't even pretend he was better than him at it. He mostly just enjoyed the way Claude would laugh when he came back from getting a ball to find that Sidney had changed his name on the score card to something obscene or how Claude always seemed to know when Sidney wanted something from the concession that was absolutely not in his diet plan and would buy some for himself just so Sidney could steal half of them. 

They spent a lot of their summer outside like the teenage boys they are. 

On one of the first afternoons that Claude spent in Nova Scotia, Sidney convinced him to go out fishing with him and his father. It was a little awkward at first, Sidney had been staying with a billet family when they first met so Sidney's family had still been foreign to him, but soon his discomfort was overridden by his amusement at fucking with Sid when he was trying to focus on the line in the water. If his father was bothered by Claude's admittedly obnoxious behavior, he didn't let on. By the time they got off the boat and back in the car, Claude and Sidney’s father were both laughing as Sidney stormed away from them and climbed into the car. 

When they were in Orleans, Claude convinced Sidney to let him teach him how to skateboard. They had to go out to buy pads since Sid really didn't want to explain to Penguins management that he had to miss training camp because he'd broke his arm bending to his boyfriend's whims. Once they got back they realized how good an idea that had been. By the end of the afternoon Sidney had a few new scratches on his face and shins, but his skin was warm from the sun and his chest was warm from spending the afternoon clinging to Claude's arm and looking at his smile. 

More often than not, though, they spent their afternoons inside. 

They would spend the day sprawled out on the couch, Sidney relaxing after a busy year with the Penguins and Claude enjoying having him by his side. Sometimes Sidney would stretch out with a book while Claude sat cross legged on his shins with a handheld or his phone in his hands. Sometimes they would spend the day lying down and watching movies, one of Sidney's arms slung over Claude's chest and their legs in a tangle. Sometimes they would attempt to make themselves something to eat, usually something like cookies or brownies to satisfy Sidney's sweet-tooth, and they would end up covered in batter and wondering where they had fucked up. 

Their evenings were usually spent with whichever one of their families they were staying with. 

They played video games with their little sisters, Taylor could smash both of them in Mario Party 7 with her eyes closed and her hands tied behind her back and Sidney learned very quickly that if Claude and Isabelle were in the room all of his Sims were going to die, and board games with their parents, Claude was genuinely afraid of all four Crosby's anytime they broke out a Monopoly board and Sidney learned that Claude's father only spun the twister board two or three times before he started calling out whatever looked most uncomfortable for the players. 

Spending most of your summer in someone's house with their son practically attached to your hip turned out to be really good for bonding. By the end of the summer, Claude had started to understand what Sidney meant when he said Claude's family seemed like his own. Claude felt just as comfortable pulling Taylor into a headlock to mess up her hair as he did pinning Isabelle to the floor to tickle her until she cried for mercy. Claude didn't hesitate to step into Trina's hugs when he first arrived at their house and it no longer shocked him when Troy ruffled his hair. 

It was nice to know that Sidney's family liked him, because Claude didn't really have any intention of leaving Sid. He knew they were young and that it might be a bit naive to think they were going to be together forever, especially when their careers would put extra stress on their relationship, but that didn't stop him from hoping.

After spending their summer together, it felt like no matter the distance between them, Rimouski to Orleans or Orleans to Pittsburgh or Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, the two of them would be okay because ultimately they would find their way back to each other.

 

 

 

**xxx.**

"So I'm going to finish the season with the Olympiques and then sign my contract," Claude said, wrapping up his explanation on how his talk with Flyers management had gone earlier that day. "I don't know exactly what they're doing with me then. They mentioned keeping me with the Olympiques for another year or sending me to the Phantoms." 

Sidney flipped the tap on and spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. He was holding the phone up to his ear with his shoulder. "Either way you won't be in Pennsylvania anytime soon." 

"Nope," Claude answered. "But I don't know why you expected that I would be. I wasn't exactly gonna get put straight into the Flyers lineup." 

Sidney wanted to sigh. Sometimes he wondered if it was his fault that Claude said stuff like that. He tried to make it clear that while Claude definitely needed to work on somethings he didn't think he was better at hockey then him, but times like this made him think he wasn't doing a very good job at it. 

He knew that Claude would just blow him off if he started that argument so instead, he said, "I know. It just sucks you know? We said we wouldn't go another year without seeing each other and it seems like we're going to have to." 

"Hey," Claude objected. "You're the one who decided to stay in Pittsburgh for Christmas. My mother was ready to pack all of us into the car to spend it in Nova Scotia with your family." 

"I didn't decide to do anything," Sidney said. He flipped the lights off in the bathroom and closed the door behind him before grabbing the phone in his hand. "I've got a game in New Jersey on the twenty-sixth. It wouldn't make sense for me to go to Nova Scotia." 

"Yeah, well. I guess we'll just have to wait another six months." 

"Six months, huh?" Sid said. "You think we're gonna win the Cup?" 

"I sure hope so. I mean, you aren't going to have a chance in hell once I'm down there." 

Sidney's chest ached a bit. He much preferred the arrogant, teasing comments over the self-depreciating ones. He knew there would be a cocky, confident smile on Claude's lips and he wanted to see it. 

It was that pressing urge to see Claude that had him blurting out, "What if you came down to Pittsburgh for Christmas?" 

"Uhh...." 

"Listen," Sid said, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt, "I can't come up because I have a game the day after Christmas, but you don't start back up until the 28th. My parents can't come down to see me because there's some extended family coming to see them, but you could." 

"It's not that I don't want to, Sid," Claude said. The fact that he wasn't flat out refusing eased something Sid, but he didn't like not having a definite yes either. "But it's kinda sudden, you know? I'm not sure my parents would agree. And you're staying with Lemieux. I don't want to intrude on their holiday." 

"You could get your mother to agree," Sid argued. "And I'll talk to Mario. If he says no, then we'll get a hotel room for a few days." 

Claude let out disbelieving little laugh, "Sid, what the fuck? You weren't even thinking about this five minutes ago." 

"I don't-" Sidney let out a low, frustrated growl. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "It's not like I wasn't thinking about how I wanted to see you, okay? I think about that pretty much daily. But then you said that thing about the cup and I started thinking about that smile you get when you say stuff like that and I wanted to see it so bad. I wanted to see you so badly.” 

There was a long stretch of silence. 

Sidney stood in the dark hallway at the Lemieux hallway, waiting for Claude to say something. 

It felt like hours before Claude spoke. 

"Look, I can't promise she'll say yes," Claude said, "but I'll talk to my mom. And Lemieux has to say yes. Deadspin would get of word you checking into a hotel in a heartbeat." 

"But you'll try?" 

"I'll try," Claude agreed. 

Sidney let out a breath. "You do actually want to right? You're not just going along with this because I'm being pushy?" 

"I do want to see you," Claude said. His voice dipped low as he confessed, "I just don't want either of us to get our hopes up, okay? It'd suck to think we're seeing each other and then not be able to go." 

There was a ping of guilt at pushing the subject when Claude had such a valid reason for not wanting him to. 

"I didn't think about that." 

"Yeah, well, you don't think very much in general," Claude answered, voice light and teasing and amused. 

The chirp had Sidney's lips turning up just a little bit. "Is that what you think?" 

"Yup," Claude said. "But it's okay. I love you, even if you are a little stupid."

 Sidney's lips spread wider. "I love you too, even if you are a little bit of a bully."

 

 

 

**iii.**

In the end, Claude's parents agreed to let Claude spend Christmas in Pittsburgh and Mario agreed to house both of them. 

Knowing that he was going to see Claude put Sidney in such a good mood that his teammates took notice. More than a few of them took his noticeably more relaxed demeanor to mean that he'd gotten a girlfriend. When he picked his phone up after practice and found that Claude had sent him his flight details, he'd been smiling so hard that Flower asked him if his girlfriend had sent him something hot. When they went out for a team dinner Sidney spent so much time texting Claude to try and coax an idea for a Christmas present out of him that Gonchar snatched his phone from his hand and told him that his girlfriend could wait thirty minutes. When Sidney was on the phone talking to Claude about what he should pack while waiting for Mario to finish a meeting, Geno walked in and asked if his girlfriend had been asking him what he wanted for Christmas. 

He dismissed them every time, told Flower that his sister had sent him a funny picture and Gonchar that it'd just been a friend from Rimouski and Geno that it was his mother instead, and it hurt. 

These guys were his friends and he wanted to tell them, but he was so afraid of what they would say. He was only nineteen and he had a long career with the Penguins ahead of him. He knew there were players on the team that he would spend a decade or more playing with. He didn't want to face their potential disapproval or scorn so early. 

He did his best to push it from his mind. Instead he focused on the way Nathalie asked him what kind of foods Claude liked so she could make sure they had something in the fridge that he'd like and how Mario offered to drive Sidney to the airport to pick Claude up so that he didn't have to take a taxi and how Austin would ask if Claude was as good at Sorry! as Sidney was or Alexa would ask what color bead bracelet Claude would want because she wanted to make sure he got a present even though he was so far from his family while the older Lemieux children tried to question him about his relationship as if a twelve or fourteen year old had any business knowing how relationships worked. 

Talking to them about Claude felt nice. He couldn't tell his friends about Claude, but he could tell these people who were practically his family. 

They lost their game on the twenty first in overtime, but when Sidney and Mario picked Claude up from the airport at nine the next morning the disappointment from the game was wiped away by the complete joy he felt at seeing Claude.

Claude was looking a little messy even though the flight had only been two hours, but that could easily be attributed to the fact that he'd had to get to the airport before seven in the morning. He was wearing a black hat with the bill flipped around backwards and what Sidney recognized as the team sweatshirt he'd been missing with gray sweatpants that were dipping low on his hips. There was a look of sleepy annoyance in his eyes and a flat set to his lips.

It wasn't really the best look on him, but Sidney honestly couldn't care less what Claude looked like as long as he was there with him.

 

 

 

**xxxx.**

When Sidney came into the bedroom on Christmas morning with two cups of coffee in his hands and a wrapped present under his arm, Claude was asleep.

Sidney hadn't thought Claude had woken up when he slipped out of the bedroom, but he'd obviously at least stirred because instead of lying on his side he was lying on his stomach. His arms were wrapped around one of the pillows, pulling it down so half of it was under his chest. He'd kicked the sheets off the bed, leaving the muscular plains of his back and the curve of his ass open for Sid's eyes.

Sid set the coffee cups and the present on the end table on his side of the bed before taking a moment to appreciate the sight. He was used to the sight of Claude in his sheets in Nova Scotia, but seeing him in his bed in Pittsburgh meant so much to Sid. It felt like a visual representation of the future he wanted.

He wet suddenly dry lips before crawling up onto the bed, careful of the way his knees shifted the mattress around. He crawled his way over to Claude and swung himself over him, sitting himself high on Claude's thighs but being careful to keep his weight on his own legs instead of Claude.

"Hey," Sid murmured, leaning down to press his lips to the skin right above the waistband of Claude's boxer briefs. He nosed his way up Claude's spine, pressing kisses on his way. "Time to get up." 

He heard Claude give a groan, though it sounded more annoyed than sleepy and disoriented. Awake then, just trying to fall back asleep. Claude lifted one arm and waved his hand in Sidney's general direction, "Go away."

Sidney chuckled a bit, grabbing Claude's wrist. He pressed a kiss to his palm before letting go. Claude let his arm flop over the side of the mattress when he did. 

Sidney pressed a kiss between Claude's shoulder blades and whispered against his skin, "Come on, Claude. It's Christmas."

"Yeah and?" Claude said. Sidney wiggled himself up, resting his chin on the flat of Claude's shoulder. Claude turned his head and peeked one eye open to look at him. "I'm not six. I don't need to get up at five in the morning to open my presents from Santa."

"What about getting up at eight to drink coffee and open a present from your boyfriend?" Sidney leaned forward just enough to press their lips together, soft and slow and sweet. 

When they pulled apart, Claude closed his eyes and pressed his face against the pillow again. He gave a heavy sigh before lifting his head again, "Alright, move so I can get up." 

Sidney flashed him a grin and pressed a quick kiss against his lips before lifting himself off Claude. 

They took a moment to get situated. 

When they settled Claude was sitting up against the headboard with his legs stretched out in front of him while Sidney sat cross legged between them. Sidney had the present Claude had gotten him, pulled out of Claude's duffle while he leaned halfway off the bed, in his legs while Claude held his in his hand. 

"Same time then?" Claude asked. 

Sidney gave a nod of approval before tearing into the wrapping paper. 

When he saw the French rosetta stone and English-to-French dictionary in the package, he glanced up at Claude with upturned lips and a quirked eyebrow. "Is this present for me or you?" 

"You," Claude answered. He looked up from the book Sid had gotten him, a collection of great places to eat in Philly which Sid had gone through and checked the reviews on each one online then marked up the ones that had been praised for their grilled cheeses, and met Sid's eyes. "You're the one who keeps saying you want to learn. Honestly, I don't know why you would think that gift would be for me. I'm going to have to listen to your atrocious accent." 

"That's only because I don't speak much French," Sid defended. "Once I learn my accent will get better." 

"Only because it couldn't possibly get worse," Claude said.

 

 

 

**iiii.**

Saying goodbye at the Lemieux's the next morning sucked. 

Neither of them had really wanted to say goodbye in the first place, but the fact that they couldn't do it at the airport had Claude feeling slightly disgruntled. He got why they couldn't say goodbye in front of Sidney's teammates, who Sid was meeting for their flight to Atlanta, and it had been a mutual decision not to tell anyone outside of their families, but that didn't mean it didn't suck to be treated like his dirty little secret. 

Despite his mild irritation, Claude didn't hesitate to wrap Sidney up in a hug before they left the house. He wasn't going to let something that stupid keep him from touching Sid for what was probably the last time until as early as April or as late as July depending on how the Penguins playoff season went. 

They stayed in each other’s arms right up until Mario poked his head into the entry way to tell Sid that if he didn't hurry up he was going to miss the team flight.

Claude honestly wasn't sure which sucked more, not seeing Sidney for the whole season or only having Sidney for four days before they separated again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Bumped the chapter up. Originally I was gonna go straight to Claude in Philly, but I decided to do this chapter as well as adding one to the end. And honestly, I might split the next chapter into two so it might go up to seven total. Idk, I'll decide when I'm writing it.
> 
> 2) Skype launched in 2003, but I'm gonna be honest and tell you that I'm not sure if it was a video conference app right away. But for the sake of Sid and Claude it was!
> 
> 3) If you didn't know this when Claude got drafted they TOTALLY forgot his name. There used to be a line in the second scene about that but it got scratched in favor of "Not as much as me, right?"
> 
> 4) I'm worried they come off as acting a bit older/younger then they are depending on the scene, but I think it's fine ultimately? Speaking as someone who is that age, I alternate between acting 12 and 22 on a daily basis. And a lot of the interviews about Sid at that time talked about how yeah, he was super responsible and good at hockey but he's also just a kid. Also is their relationship too physically intimate for an 18 and 19 y/o? I mean at this age they pretty obviously have a sex life but intimacy is different, you know? I especially worry about that in the fourth scene. I tried to hit more sensual then sexual, the same way I tried with their first kiss, but I'm not sure I nailed it. 
> 
> 5) Also true fact: Claude helped put together a big bowling charity event which a lot of the Flyers attended and they said that Claude honestly plays in a bowling league during his summers. 
> 
> 6) I meant to write the second interlude from Claude's pov but Sid honestly like....snatched this whole chapter for himself. I hope the pov switch isnt disorienting?
> 
> 7) I like that I named this "Orleans to Pittsburgh" but a good part of this takes place when their both in Canada for the summer or both in the Untied States. It's a grossly inaccurate title, but I think it still gets the point across. 
> 
> 8) Despite all the other facts in this chapter, I don't actually know if Claude Giroux can skateboard? But when I look at him I think "oh yeah. he was totally that kid in high school". 
> 
> 9) Claude laughs so much in the summer and honestly I just get the impression that's the kind of person he is? With his dumb ginger hair and his stupid smile (i really love claude giroux).
> 
> 10) Also a fact: Sidney has a huge sweet tooth. He said in an interview once that everything you could thing of that would be bad for his diet plan he loves and that he probably enjoys his cheat days more then he should.
> 
> 11) There's some major foreshadowing in this chapter. If you guys read the other fic in the series (which if you haven't already, I'd maybe leave it until this one ends bc it kinda gives away the events of this one), you'll know what I mean. 
> 
> 12) Do you guys like the examples/details in the interludes? bc I try to use them to make it more realistic, to give you details instead of just vaguely being like "lol they love each other but never do anything together" that i feel like is in a lot of fics? But I sometimes think I'm over doing it. 
> 
> 13) So much of this end note is about that second interlude omg. 
> 
> 14) I try to write Claude with the confidence of well, Claude, since he'd need to have complete faith in his abilities to go through all the shit he went through without giving up but at the same time I think that having been around Sid so early in his life definitely would have set them up for a bit of a complex situation? So he flips between vaguely self depreciating comments and incredibly confident ones. Let me know if you guys think it's too out of character and I'll make some edits  
> .  
> 15) I tried to look up the Olympiques schedule in the 2006-2007 season like I did the Penguins (meaning the games Sid mentions are actual games the pens had that season) but I couldn't find it? So I looked at this years schedule to base Claude's timeline off. 
> 
> 16) I talked it over with a friend and we agreed that anyone who saw Claude and Sid together at the airport when Claude was wearing Sid's sweatshirt would assume he was just a trolling friend, not a boyfriend.
> 
> 17) Edited, but I didn't see many things that displeased me? I might have missed some stuff so let me know.


	3. Pittsburgh to Philadelphia (304 miles, 490 kilometers)

**x.**

Claude was lying down in his hotel room, curled up on his side with his face buried half into his pillow and his eyes closed, when Baby Got Back rung through the room.

He flailed one arm out to the side in search of it. His hand smacked against the nightstand several times before his fingers finally caught on his phone. When he managed to get a grip on it he pulled it towards him, swiping his thumb against the screen without looking and bringing it to his ear.

"'Hey," he greeted. "How was your game?"

"You are slurring," Sidney said, instead of returning his greet. His voice was all concern.

Claude winced a bit. He didn’t really plan on keeping his injury from Sidney, but he didn’t want Sidney worrying about him right now.

"Concussion," Claude answered, trying for nonchalant. He waved a hand in the air above him absently, as though Sidney could see the gesture all the way from Pittsburgh.

"What? From last night? You told me you were fine, Claude!"

"I am fine," he insisted. "Pissed that I finally got called up to play for the Flyers and fucking Perry had to ruin it with his god damn elbows, but fine."

"A concussion is not fine," Sidney argued. He let out a sound that hovered between frustrated and out-right angry. The Penguins had lost then. Badly judging by Sidney's bad mood. "Who are you staying with?

"No one. I'm at my hotel."

There was a beat of silence.

Claude sighed and turned his head a little further into his pillow. He could practically feel Sid's anger building.

"Claude," Sidney said. The cold fury Claude had been expecting was present in spades.

Claude cut him off, "Sid, I'm fine. The team doctor said I was good to go home alone. Danny's checking up on me just in case, but I'm okay. I've got a little bit of a headache and I'm tired as fuck, but I am fine." He waited a moment before asking, "Are you listening to me?"

He heard Sidney suck in a harsh breath before saying, "I'm listening, but I'm not going to stop worrying just because you say you're fine. I watched your game, Claude. I saw you go down. You had to get helped off the ice. It was pretty fucking terrifying for me."

Claude sighed. "We play hockey, Sid. We're going to see each other hurt."

"That wasn't hockey," Sid answered. "He got suspended. No one gets suspended when you play clean hockey."

Claude resisted the urge to sigh again. Sidney was being stupidly stubborn and all Claude wanted was to sleep for a bit before Danny came over again. "What do you want me to do, Sid?"

Sidney said, "I've got morning practice tomorrow, but I'll catch a flight in the afternoon and come see you."

"You have a game in New York the day after," Claude said. Not an objection, one of his favorite benefits of being in Philadelphia was getting to see Sid whenever one of them had time for the hour long plane ride or the five hour car ride so he wasn't really going to turn that down, but a fact.

"I'll get permission to fly up there by myself," Sidney said. "I've never missed a game or practice that I wasn't injured for so I doubt they'll mind."

Claude hummed before asking, his voice teasing, "You've got a game in Philly on the thirteenth, you know? Are you sure you want to see me twice in that short a time period?"

"I always want to see you."

The raw honesty in his voice had Claude's lips stretching into a wide grin.

"Alright," Claude said. He felt so happy and content that he was sure it was flowing out of his chest and into his words. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"Yeah."

After a moment passed, Claude said, "If we keep talking I'm going to fall asleep on you."

"That's fine," Sidney dismissed. "I'll talk until you drop off. I had kind of a bad day and I just want to talk to you."

"Yeah?" Claude said. "You don't care if I don't talk?"

"No," Sidney answered. "I mean if you want to talk then I'd love to listen to you, but I'm fine with it this way too. It feels like I'm with you even if you're not actively speaking."

Claude let out a tiny groan, even as his chest filled with fuzzy warmth. "Ugh, Sid, come on."

"What?" Sidney said, sounding genuinely confused. "What'd I do?"

"You can't say shit like that," Claude said. "You sound like a teenage girl."

"Teenage girls are super cool though," Sidney pointed out. "They put up with all kinds of shit and I knew some girls in high school who could make themselves look better in five minutes than I can make myself look in five hours."

Claude thought about the girls he'd known in high school then nodded. "Alright. Fair point. Lull me to sleep with tales of your shitty day."

 

 

 

**i.**

They didn't have a huge amount of free time, but with both of them in Pennsylvania it was a lot easier to meet up.

Sidney was a favorite in Pittsburgh while Philadelphia had watched Claude rise from the Phantoms to the Flyers in half a season and were watching to see what he was capable of, so they had to be careful about being seen but they always made time for each other.

When they had a game in Pittsburgh, Claude would make his excuses to his roommate before taking a taxi over to the Lemieux's. Nathalie usually answered the door with a bright smile on her face, pulling Claude into a hug before pointing him in Sidney's direction. Sometimes he'd bump into Mario on the way, exchanging greetings and casual conversation, and sometimes one of the kids would run through with a quick hello as they went off or pull him into the den to settle an argument as the nearest adult. He was glad they all liked him given how much time he spent in their home with Sidney.

Sidney was pretty paranoid about his routine, so Claude learned to fit himself into it when he was there.

If Sidney was making his pre-game smoothie when Claude got there, Claude would slide up next to him and press a kiss to his cheek before asking Sidney to make him one too. Sometimes Sidney would turn his head to connect their lips, usually when the Pens had been doing well, and sometimes Claude got nothing more than a hello or a 'yeah, sure', usually when the Pens hadn't been doing so well and Sidney was focused on trying to break their losing streak. Sometimes Claude showed up when Sidney was already taking his nap, so he kicked his shoes off and crawled into bed with him. On those days, Sidney would usually stir long enough to give Claude a sleepy smile and pull him closer before drifting back off again. When they woke up they'd spend a few minutes trading sleepy comments and soft kisses, before Claude had to wipe the sleep from his eyes and head off to meet the Flyers.

Sidney coming to Claude in Philadelphia was a little more complicated since Claude was staying at a hotel instead of a private residence.

There were a lot of disguises and sneaking into back doors. Sometimes the whole affair had them laughing like giddy children, not that they were that mature at twenty-two, as they made their way up to Claude's room. Sometimes it left Claude feeling dirty and irritated. When they were in Claude's room, it was usually the same routine as it was at Sid's. Quiet conversation and smoothies made out of whatever Claude had bought for them that morning and naps in each other’s beds.

They never got to spend much time together before games, but some was always better than none.

They couldn't always meet after games, it depended on when their teams were leaving for their next game, but occasionally they’d have the time. On those nights they would duck out of whatever celebrations or commiserations their teammates were having post game in order to meet up.

Sometimes they were so wrapped up in the adrenaline pounding through their veins, that the second they were both in the room one of them was being pushed onto the bed. Those nights were all panted praises and bitten lips and fingers pressing into skin. They learned their limits within the first couple of times, figuring what they could do the night before a game and what they couldn't.

There was a lot they could do the night before a game.

When their moods weren't quite matching, one of them on a low from a loss instead of the high that came with just being on the ice, they would spend the night puttering around.

In Pittsburgh, Sidney would cook something to eat while Claude sat on the counter next to him. Sidney would hand feed Claude chopped vegetables and fruits or hold spoons out for him to taste. Claude would comment on it as if he knew how to cook anything other than grilled cheese.

In Philadelphia, they would play games. Sidney would end up sitting on the couch with Claude's head on his lap, running his hands through Claude's hair as he messed around in Grand Theft Auto or Spore. Claude liked to make his Spore creatures as horrendous looking as possible and Sidney would try to steer him away only to end up looking at a blue penis with six arms, one leg, and three eyes.

On the nights when a game was brutal for even a Flyers and Pens game, they would end up on one of their beds. They would press close to each other, foreheads tipped together and legs tangled. They laid like that, sometimes quietly and sometimes chatting aimlessly, until their breathing evened and they finally drifted off.

On the rare occasion that their days off lined up, they visited each other and spent the day lazy and content in a way that they couldn't when they were prepping for a game the next day. It was all lounge pants and threadbare tee-shirt while they curled up on the couch with their legs tangled together.

More often than not though, their days off didn’t coincide. On those days, they would spend the morning skyping while whichever one of them didn’t have the day off was getting ready. Sidney found it incredibly hard to fix himself a healthy game day breakfast when Claude's feed was nothing but crisp white sheets and bare skin and Claude learned how hard it was to shave when Sidney was on the screen sweaty and panting from a small workout.

The regular season was nice, they were seeing more of each other then they had when they were in Orleans and Rimouski, but playoff season was hell.

The Flyers and Penguins played the first series against each other. They threw themselves into it, all raw determination and want.

When Claude scored his first playoff goal in game three, Sidney had allowed himself only a moment of swelling pride before he threw himself into trying to take the point back.

In the end, the Penguins beat the Flyers four-to-two and Claude went back to Orleans to watch as Sidney won his first Cup.

 

 

 

 **xx**. 

Sidney was drunk and he knew it.

He didn't allow himself to go this far usually, limiting himself to one or two drinks when the team went out to celebrate and focusing on making sure his teammates got back to their homes okay, but he'd just won the Stanley Cup. Not getting plastered wasn't an option.

After hours of celebrating with the team, feeling ecstatic and warm and comfortable, though, all Sidney wanted was Claude. This was one of the happiest moments in his life, something he'd been working for since he was little more than a toddler, and he wanted Claude by his side for it.

He wanted Claude by his side for everything.

"Sid," Vero called when Sidney stood up from their table. "Where are you going, feuille d'érable?"

They'd tried to get her to drink with them early on in the night, back when they'd first managed to pry her and Flower apart, but she'd been firm in her insistence that she would watch over Sid and Jordan as well as her boyfriend. She definitely deserved the best team girlfriend award. Ksenia should get the best wife award. She'd agreed to watch over Gonchar and Geno because once the two Russians got going, they weren't going to stop and they would forget every bit of English they knew. The best boyfriend award should go to Claude, because Claude was an awesome boyfriend even if he wasn't at the bar with them.

"Gonna go talk to G," Sidney said, words falling from his lips in a slur.

"I think Ksenia took him and Gonchar up to get more vodka shots for Alex."

As he pushed his way through the crowd of drunken hockey players, girls and wives, and fans, he called over his shoulder, "Not that G! My G!"

It took him a while, Duper dropped an arm around his shoulders at one point and screamed about how Sidney the best captain in the NHL as he forced Sid to shotgun a can of beer and Tanger pressed sloppy kisses to his cheeks while shoving two shot glasses into Sidney's hands, but eventually Sidney managed to push through the doors and step out into the fresh air.

He dug his phone out of his pocket. Punching the pass code in - 8728 - he brought up his contact list. Claude was up at the top, his phone knowing that it was by far the most called number in Sidney’s phone, so it took Sidney only a moment to call it and bring it up to his ear.

The phone rang for what felt like hours.

Sidney squatted down in the alley and tipped his head back against the wall as he waited. He didn't like having to come out here to talk to Claude.

He wanted to be inside the warm bar with his teammates. He wanted to plop into Claude's lap the way Gonchar was doing to Ksenia. She was laughing and slinging an arm around Gonchar's waist to hold him there until he moved of his own accord, but Sidney knew Claude would laugh and push him off. Sidney wanted to hear Claude laugh so badly.

The last time Sidney had seen Claude had been at the end of the final Flyers vs Penguins game and Claude had looked so fucking sad. Sidney hated when he made Claude sad. Sometimes, making Claude sad scared Sidney so much that his heart skipped a beat. He didn’t want to make Claude so sad that he left him.

"Sid?" Claude's voice broke Sidney out of his thoughts. He sounded sleepy and confused with a layer of irritation underneath. Sidney smiled stupidly, all thoughts of Claude leaving him for making him unhappy wiped away from his mind as he thought instead about how Claude used that same tone with him when he was wrapped up in Sidney's sheets and getting annoyed at Sidney for trying to get him up. Sidney wished he could hear it every morning. "It’s almost three in the morning. Why the fuck are you calling me?”

 "You should move in with me," Sidney said. He thought about Claude sitting on the counter after a game. His hair damp from his shower and wearing a pair of Sidney's basketball shorts instead of any of the ones he'd left at Sidney's house. He thought about Claude's hands gesturing wildly as he tried to explain something and his legs banging against the counter under him. He wished they got to spend more afternoons together like that. "Yeah. You should definitely move in with me."

Claude's response was immediate, "You are drunk off your fucking ass right now."

Sidney was self-aware enough, even when he'd been drinking for a solid five hours, so he nodded. "Yeah."

He heard him sigh and the shift of the sheets as Claude moved around. Sidney was so sick of hearing that over the phone instead of in person. "Sid, we're not talking about this when your drunk."

"Doesn't matter that I'm drunk," Sidney objected. "I'm in love with you, Claude. Want to live with you and marry you and have kids with you."

"Oh great," Claude remarked, voice dripping with sarcasm. "We can hit all of our relationship milestones at once then."

"Is that a yes?" Sid asked, perking up. "To all of it?"

"Pour l'amour de baise, cet idiot," Claude said.

Sidney had no idea what was being said, but he loved the way French sounded on Claude's tongue. He didn't even care if ninety percent of the time Claude's French was followed by him teasing Sidney for not speaking it very well.

"Claude," Sidney said, the name coming out in a stretched out whine. "Was that a yes?"

"I'll think about it. Ask me again next time we see each other."

"That's not gonna be until Tuesday or Wednesday," Sidney whined.

"Yeah and hopefully by then you'll have realized that asking me to move in with you while drunk was a shitty idea." Claude yawned before saying, "It's too late for this shit. Go back into whatever bar you're at and finish celebrating. Let Fleury's girlfriend get you home when your done and go the fuck to sleep."

"Can't finish celebrating without you," Sidney said. "It's why I called. You're supposed to be with me when stuff like this happens. Just like Vero and Catherine are because I'm going to marry you just like Flower and Tanger are going to marry them."

"Yeah? I must've missed the engagement."

"Not right now," Sidney corrected. "But someday. I don't wanna be with anyone but you."

There was a moment before Claude said, "I don't wanna be with anyone but you either, Sid." Then, despite the warm fondness in his voice, he added, "Now hang up and go inside so I can go the fuck to sleep."

Sidney let out a long sigh. He pushed himself to his feet, "Fine. I love you."

"Love you too," Claude replied. "I'll call you in the morning so I can make fun of you."

"Mmkay."

 

 

 

**ii.**

Claude did call the next morning, waking Sidney up at eleven and mocking him furiously as Sidney complained about his hangover. They spoke for most of the morning, but neither of them brought up the things Sidney had said the night before.

Instead Claude caught Sidney up on what was going on in the Giroux household, apparently he didn't like Isabelle's new boyfriend and his father was talking about fishing as if Sidney's obsession had rubbed off on him, while Sidney made himself an omelet. Sidney relayed what stories he remembered from the night before, all the vodka shots Geno and Gonchar kept making Alex pound back ended up with Alex passed out on the bar top and on the cab ride home Jordan had proclaimed Flower and Vero the most attractive couple and started suggesting a threesome.

They had talked briefly before the Penguins went out to celebrate, but it was while Sidney was eating that Claude really started telling him how proud of him he was.

The Cup parade was on Monday, so Sidney flew to Nova Scotia Tuesday morning.

When he got to his parents place that afternoon, Claude was waiting on the porch steps with his parents and Taylor. Seeing Claude with the sun shining on his hair and a broad grin on his face as he listened to whatever story Taylor was telling, all expansive hand gestures and thirteen year old enthusiasm, Sidney felt a sharp wave of fondness. Sometimes he forgot how gone for Claude he was only to see him again and remember all over again. 

Still, they didn't talk about the things Sidney had said. Not that afternoon when Claude came up to him after his family had all embraced Sid or that evening when they were lying on the living room floor after eating the feast Sidney's mother had cooked or that night when they were alone in Sidney's childhood bedroom or the next morning when they packed their stuff into the car in order to drive over to Sidney's house on Grand Lake.

They spent a month at Sidney's place.

It was a month of waking up to the weight of Claude's legs tangled with his and opening his eyes to see Claude still sleeping next to him. A month of laughing at the breakfast table while Claude tried to convince Sidney to buy Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms instead of Special K and Cheerios. A month of afternoons spent out on the lake with the water running down their bodies and lazing around the house to watch TV and doing soft workouts in the gym with Claude's playlist switching off with Sidney's until he couldn't remember which one of them had downloaded the Jones Brothers Burnin Up and which one of them had downloaded Lil Wayne's Lollipop. A month of lunches where Claude requested grilled cheeses and Sidney ignored him in favor of something healthier. A month of evenings spent pushing Claude away when he tried to steal Sidney's controller during Mario Kart and arguing with Claude about the toppings on their popcorn when they watched a movie. A month of nights with Claude's lips all over Sidney's skin and Claude hovering over Sidney with eyes dark with want as he waited for the okay to move and Claude begging for Sid to fuck him on his hands and knees.

A month together and still they didn't talk about Sidney asking Claude to move in with him.

The words were starting to itch under Sidney's skin. He'd always assumed it would be him and Claude forever, always wanted it to be him and Claude forever, but now he was wondering if Claude didn't want the same thing. He wondered if Claude hadn't confronted him about it because he didn't want to have the future that Sidney had laid out that night.

  

 

 

**xxx.**

Claude was laid back in a chair on the back deck with his eyes closed and a beer held loosely in his fingers.

He heard the door behind him slide open, but not the fall of Sidney's feet. After a moment, he peeked one eye open to see Sidney leaning against the doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was watching Claude with an odd look on his face, something that was one part affection and two parts consideration.

"Hey," Claude said. He set his beer on the deck next to his chair and pushed himself up right. "What did your mom call for? Did something happen? Are your dad and Taylor okay?"

"Everyone's fine," Sidney said. "She just wanted to make sure we were going to go over there this weekend before going to visit your parents."

"Alright," Claude said. "We still are, right?"

"That's the plan."

When another moment passed without Sidney moving out of the doorway, Claude prompted, "Did she say anything else?"

"Not really." Before Claude could make any more attempts at figuring out what was bothering him, Sidney asked, "Why haven't we talked about the fact that I asked you to move in with me?"

Claude didn't even need to think about it before he answered, "You were drunk. I told you to ask again when we saw each other and you didn't. I figured you had either forgotten the whole thing or didn't really mean it."

A range of emotions flickered across Sidney's face - surprise, joy, relief. He said, "Of course I meant it." He added quickly, "All of it."

"I want all of it," Claude said. "I don't want it all right now, but eventually."

"Alright." They were quiet for a minute, watching each other with small smiles on their faces, before Sidney said, "I should get us a place in Pittsburgh too."

"Pittsburgh, huh?" Claude said, careful to keep the words emotionless. "Not just this place?"

"Yeah. I know you can't live there the way you can here, but you visit often enough that it'd be nice to have a place that's ours," Sidney said. Some of the happiness drained out of him, his eyebrows furrowing together and his lips turning down. "Did you only want to stay together in the summers?"

"It's not that." Claude weighed his word carefully before he said, "Us having place together in Pittsburgh is going to change things. You'd have to at least tell your teammates about us."

"It's not like I'm ashamed of you," Sidney said. "I didn't tell them when I first got signed because it wasn't their business. I didn't know them. They're my best friends and family now though. The only reason I didn't tell them before this is was because I wasn't sure you would want them to know. But if we're doing this, then we're making the decision together."

"This one is all you. Them knowing about me doesn't matter. The whole league may be assholes, but we keep each other’s secrets." Claude said, "It's your relationships on the line here. I'll see them on the ice, but you'll be in the locker room with them. If you want to tell them than it's fine. If you don't than that's fine too."

Sidney stepped out onto the deck. He squatted down in front of Claude. He set his beer down next to Claude's before reaching up to place his hands on either side of his face. "I love you, okay? I want to live with you, in Nova Scotia and in Pittsburgh and in Philadelphia when the Flyers finally give you a real contract. If my teammates aren't okay with that then they aren't the friends I thought they were."

Claude let his eyes flicker across Sidney's face, looking for any trace of doubt or hesitation. When he none, he said, "Alright."

Joy crept its way up Sidney's face, the corners of his lips curling up and a light coming to his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Claude agreed with a nod. "Let's buy a house in Pittsburgh."

Sidney let out a loud whoop before bending forward and pressing their lips together.

 

 

 

  

**iii.**

There wasn't a very big fuss when they arrived at Claude's parents the following week and told them Claude was going to move in with Sidney.

Claude asked his father about it that afternoon when the two of them were grabbing a few empty boxes out of the garage for Claude to use. His father shrugged and told him that they were expecting it. They'd known where Claude's relationship was headed for a while now.

Claude had known both his parents and Sidney's understood the scope of their relationship and approved, but that was the first time any of them had come outright and said they thought Sidney and Claude were going to last. There was something validating about it.

They spent the rest of the week splitting time between the family and packing Claude's things away. There wasn't very much considering it was really just his bedroom, so everything was ready to come with them when they left on Friday.

They managed to get everything put away before the following Monday.

There were a few meetings with their lawyers to make sure they had an NDA ready for whatever real estate agent they found in Pittsburgh and phone calls with their agents to make sure they were ready in case word of the changes going on in their lives got out, but for the most part the rest of the summer was a repeat of previous ones.

Sidney's cup day was on his birthday, so they threw a party at his parents’ house after he did his thing for the day. It was mostly his family, the blood one as well as Claude's parents and sister, with a few of his friends from the Oceanic.

Most of them already knew Claude, his family because Claude had spent almost five years attached to Sidney during the summers and the boys from Rimouski because they'd been the first people to chirp Sid for the hickeys littering his torso, but there were a few girlfriends or boyfriends of guests who didn't or cousins who hadn't been around much the past few years as they established careers or went through college. With the way Sidney was introducing him to them, keeping an arm slung over Claude's lower back and a palm curled around his hip, it was starting to feel like they were already engaged and not just living together. Claude didn't particularly mind it, he felt like he and Sidney had pretty much locked themselves in with each other when they'd talked about moving in together, but the look Sidney's grandmother was giving him was starting to make him feel self-conscious about it.

He made sure to stick with the other side of Sidney's family so he wouldn't get any questions about why there wasn't a ring on either of their fingers after almost five years.

The rest of August passed quickly and then they were getting the house ready for them to go to training camp. They threw the food in the fridge away. Sidney already had a wardrobe set up at Mario's place so he cleaned the rooms while Claude packed the clothes he'd need in Philadelphia. They dropped the spare key off with Sidney's parents, they'd promised to check on the house once or twice a week, and said their goodbyes to Taylor before catching a flight to Philadelphia.

Mario picked them up from the airport, pulling them both into hugs and welcoming them back, and they told him about their summer. He shared a few useful suggestions for real estate agents that other players in the area had used and told a few stories about things the kids had gotten up to during break that he hadn't shared with them over the summer.

When they got to the hotel Claude was staying in for the season, he gave Sidney a quick peck and told him to call him once he got to Pittsburgh before thanking Mario for the ride.

  

 

 

**xxxx.**

"I can't wait for you to see it in person," Sidney said. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, holding the phone to his ear as he listened to Claude shuffle around his hotel room trying to find his things.

"Am I going to see it before or after we buy it?" Claude said, voice teasing. It was followed quickly by agitated French, "Merde! Où est-ce que je laissé tomber mon portefeuille?"

"Of course you're going to see it before we close on it. I didn't even close on the Nova Scotia house until you saw it and I didn't initially buy that for us." He frowned a bit before asking, "Did you lose your wallet?"

"I didn't lose it. I just don't remember where I put it when I got back after the game last night. If I weren't so busy trying to find it, I'd be proud of you for understanding what I said," Claude answered. There was a series of soft thumps as if Claude was tossing things around the room in his search. "Look, I like the pictures of that place a lot more than anything else you and Paula have sent me, but what are you going to do if I see it in person and hate it Sid? You're already in love with this house."

"I'm not in love with the house," Sid corrected. "I'm in love with what it could be. It's not perfect right now but with a little work, it could be."

"Ah ha! I found it!" Claude cheered. Sidney let out a laugh at his enthusiasm. "It was in the desk drawer."

"How'd it get there?"

"No clue," Claude answered. "About the house though, how much work are we talking?"

"I don't know. It's perfectly livable and definitely worth the asking price," Sidney said. He fell back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "It's just not our house yet, you know? I need you to see it so we can figure out what we need to make it into what we want."

"You know I think this is ridiculous right? We're buying a house that's worth over two million dollars and you want to change half of it."

"Noted." Sidney asked, "So are you going to make it over any time before our game in December or are we going to be negotiating over All-Star break?"

"I don't know. I'm trying, but I don't want to see it without you there to explain what you want to do with it. It'd be easier to do it when we both have the day after the game off."

Sidney closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.

Hockey season was always rough on their relationship, but with the Flyers getting injured and their lineup shifting so much Claude was spending more time at practice as the team tried to find lines that were working well for them. Claude and van Riemsdyk were working well together, Claude was tearing it up and Sidney was absolutely alight with pride, but the rest of the team was a mess.

Sidney would have flown to Philadelphia on his days off, but Claude waved him off every time and told him there wasn't a point in Sidney taking an hour long flight when Claude was just going to collapse into bed.

Sid disagreed, but he wasn't going to argue with Claude when he was juggling so much.

Sidney loved hockey and he loved his job, but sometimes he longed for the summer when the two of them got to be together without scheduling it around games and practices.

"Sid..." Claude's voice had gone quieter as he picked up on Sidney's mood.

"Stop. It's nothing," Sidney said, cutting Claude off before he could go any further. He knew how frustrated Claude was with how his season was going and how he was trying his best to balance the Flyers with their relationship. "I just miss you and that's neither of our faults okay? We're trying. It's just not working."

Claude was quiet for a minute before saying, "I miss you too."

Sidney hummed a little. Wanting to direct the conversation away, he said, "So, dinner with Danny and the boys tonight?"

"Yeah," Claude answered. There was a hint of his usual happiness in his voice that lifted Sidney's spirits as well. He was glad for how easily Claude was fitting in with the Flyers, making friends that cared for him as deeply as Tanger and Flower and Geno cared for Sid. "He was bitching at our team dinner the other day about me eating less vegetables then Cameron and said I had to come over so he could shove something green down my throat."

"Good. I worry less when I know you’re eating something other than grilled cheese."

"Hey!" Claude objected. He must have stepped out of his room on his way downstairs to catch a cab to Danny's, because Sidney heard a door close. "I eat more than just grilled cheese and you know it. Half the time you're on the phone with me when I'm eating."

"I'm not entirely convinced you don't secretly text your hotel a different order."

"I hate you. I hate you so much."

"No you don't."

Claude let out a small laugh. "No. I don't."

 

 

 

**iiii.**

The season didn't get easier for them, but they didn't get harder either.

Claude didn't make it out to Pittsburgh to look at the house until their game in December, but when he did he found that he liked the house and the changes Sidney wanted to make to it as much as Sidney did. They threw a little extra money into the deal in order to convince the seller to fill out the paperwork during the NHL's Christmas break, but before New Year’s they had closed on the house.

The changes they wanted to make were going to take a while, especially considering they agreed they didn't want anyone in the house when they were in Canada for the summer, and they weren't going to start them until the 2010-2011 season started so Sidney rented an apartment. The point of buying the house was to have a place where he and Claude could be together and the apartment served nicely for that. But because the apartment wasn't actually supposed to be a home of any kind, Sidney didn't spend much time setting it up. The end result was that he didn't really like being there alone and usually stayed with Mario when Claude was in Philadelphia.

In February, Sidney went to Vancouver for the Olympics. He had played for Canada before in World Tournaments, but playing in the Olympics had him feeling a whole new kind of pride. He threw himself into the tournament, putting his all into playing the game and chirping Toews about sneaking around with Kane as if he didn't spend half the year chasing after a member of the team the Penguins had the fiercest rivalry with and ignoring everyone's attempts to set him up with an Olympic hook up. He called Claude when he could, Claude had gone back to Nova Scotia for the Olympic break and being alone in the house had apparently convinced him it was haunted, but it was never very long before Sidney got dragged away by another member of Team Canada or had to run off to practice.

It was all worth it when he went home with a gold medal around his neck. Instead of going straight to Pittsburgh after the break, he went to Nova Scotia. He spent a week celebrating his win with Claude in their bed in their house. When they flew to Pittsburgh together, Sidney was flying on cloud nine.

The world, apparently, didn't care about making Sidney feel good because the Penguins got knocked out of the playoffs in the second round. He wasn't sure what hurt more - the Penguins getting eliminated or seeing Claude's face after Patrick Kane won the Blackhawks a cup.

They spent that summer wrapped up in each other, licking their wounds and making up for the time they'd loss during the season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) There's a bit of a time gap between the last chapter and this chapter. It tried to clarify, but I'm not sure it's obvious. The last chapter ended around Christmas of 2006, this chapter picks up January 3rd 2009. Claude played half the 2008-2009 season with the Phantoms before getting moved up to the Flyers for the rest of it. 
> 
> 2) Added miles/kilometers to chapter titles because it'll make more sense for titling chapter five. 
> 
> 3) The Pittsburgh to Philadelphia chapters are split into two with this one taking place 2009-2010 and the other one being 2011-2012. 
> 
> 4) Claude is very dismissive of his concussion and he should not be!! But there's gonna be more on that when Sidney's concussion from hell pops up. 
> 
> 5) On that note: concussions can make people sleepy. The whole "wake me up every thirty minutes thing" mostly applies to the fist 24/48 hours. Claude is free to do his whole sleepy asshole thing in this chapter. 
> 
> 6) I'm pretty sure it's clear but Claude feels dirty in the first interlude not because their doing anything wrong, but because he feels like Sids dirty secret. Even if it was a mutual decision to keep it a secret, sometimes that stuff sucks.
> 
> 7) The domesticity and fluff is real in this chapter bc the next one is gonna rip your hearts out (*˘︶˘*)
> 
> 8) Throw back to games from 2008. 
> 
> 9) If the second scene seems a little random at times, it's because I tried to write it in a drunk persons perspective. Third person drunk person? 
> 
> 10) Thanks to @PossiblyKenobi on tumblr for helping me with the lil bit of french in this chapter. However please note 1) it's the french she learned in school not Quebecois and 2) it's not translated in this end note because the french is all in Sidney's point of view meaning you arent /supposed/ to understand it really. 
> 
> 11) I'm not ENTIRELY sure what Sid actually did with the cup on his day in 2009, but I know it was his birthday. So I took that tidbit and rolled with it. 
> 
> 12) If you ever think this fic has a lot of moments from Sid's real life and not a lot from Claude's, it's because Sidney's personal life is a lot easier to google then Claude's is. Which I KINDA hate because I wanna know all about Claude Giroux and not so much about Sid but to each their own. 
> 
> 13) I kinda forgot that Sid bought his Nova Scotia home in 2006 so the summer section in the last chapter shouldn't have included then staying with Sid's parents, but I also needed to build that relationship? So let's pretend Sid bought it in 2007 instead. 
> 
> 14) No matter what he says, the fact remains that Sidney Crosby knows Slow Motion by Juvenile and I will forever make him listen to music like that in my fics (basically what I'm saying is Lollipop was a Sidney download and Burnin Up was a Claude one).
> 
> 15) you know, some guys like topping and some like bottoming and some like both. I think Sid and Claude would definitely both like both. On one hand they like the control and on the other sometimes it's nice to give it up.
> 
> 16) How to Sid and Claude managed to hide then living together in Halifax? No idea but they do!!
> 
> 17) Also when Sid and Claude are talking about coming out in Pittsburgh, they are talking exclusively the Penguins. Not the media or the Flyers, who Claude isn't as close to yet.
> 
> 18) I'm worried the third scene is kinda all over the place? That it doesn't flow well. Let me know what you think. 
> 
> 19) Not sure about the exact age difference between Claude and his sister, but I put two years between them in this fic. She couldn't be too much younger because she got engaged in 2012. 
> 
> 20) Kazer mention in the last section of the chapter bc I'm trash. 
> 
> 21) THE LENGTH OF THIS CHAPTER IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. IT'S ALMOST 7K.
> 
> 22) Edited, but at midnight when I was exhausted, so let me know if you see any issues so I can fix them!


	4. Philadelphia to Pittsburgh (304 miles, 490 kilometers)

**x.**

Sidney was sitting on the couch with his legs stretched out in front of him and a bowl of pasta salad in his hand when he heard the sliding door open.

He tipped his head back to watch as Claude stepped into the house. He'd been out for a jog, so his tee-shirt was damp with sweat and his curls stuck to his forehead. There was a healthy flush on his face and his chest was rising steadily from the exertion.

"Welcome back," Sidney greeted. He reached for the water bottle he'd set down on the floor next to him and extended it out towards Claude. "Drink?"

"Yeah, thanks." Claude made his way over to Sidney. He braced one hand on the arm of the couch and leaned down to press their lips together. When he pulled away, he took the bottle of water with him. He took a long drink of it. When he lowered the bottle, he said, "So. I got a phone call while I was out."

"Yeah?" Sidney looked at him as he took a bite of his food.

"Yeah." Claude squatted down next to him. He reached out to grab a noodle out of Sidney's bowl with two fingers and popped it in his mouth, ignoring the look Sid sent him in favor of asking, "How do you feel about not sneaking around a hotel next season?"

Sidney raised an eyebrow, "Did you buy us a place without asking me?"

"No. You know, I'm not looking until we finish negotiations for my extension," Claude said. He licked some of the pasta sauce off his fingers. "But Danny B asked me if I'd want to move in with him for the season."

"Oh." Sidney took a few bites of his food as he processed the information. He asked, "Are you going to say yes?"

"I haven't decided." This time when Claude went to grab a noodle, Sidney slapped his hand away. "Sid, come on. I'm hungry and it tastes good."

"You're sweaty and I don't want your hands in my food." He gathered some pasta on his fork and held it out to Claude. He got a wide grin in return before Claude ducked forward to take the bite. As he was chewing, Sid said, "You hate staying in a hotel and you love the boys. Why are you hesitating?”

"Half the reason I don't like being in a hotel is because I don't like sneaking you in and out back doors," Claude said. "I'm not going to move in with Danny if you don't want him knowing about us."

"What was it you told me when we were talking about getting a place in Pittsburgh?" Sidney racked his brain for the words before saying, "This is your decision. You have to share a locker room with him if he doesn't approve. Not that I can imagine someone that's as nice a guy as Briere not approving but who knows." He waved his fork around to punctuate his point before biting the pasta off it.

Claude gave a small laugh. "Alright, hot shot, don't throw my words back at me."

"Mmm." Sidney smiled, eyes crinkling in the corners and chest warm with fondness. "So?"

"So I'll call Danny later and tell him yes."

"Good." Sidney took another bite before asking, "Do you want more of this or are you gonna go take a shower?"

Claude hummed before saying, "Gimme one more bite, then I'll shower and make myself a grilled cheese."

"You had a grilled cheese for lunch yesterday," Sidney said, nose crinkling as he stabbed some pasta.

"That's because it only takes bread and cheese to make," Claude pointed out. "Which is about the only thing we have in the house right now. We haven’t gone grocery shopping in a month.”

Sidney hummed. "It just feels stupid to go shopping when we're leaving in two weeks, you know?

"I get it, but if we’re still going to be here for those two weeks and if we don’t eat we’re going to die. I really don't want you to die."

"Sweet," Sid said with a good natured eye roll. He held his fork out for Claude.

"I try." Claude flashed a quick smile before leaning forward to bite the macaroni off. When he was finish he suggested, "Why don't we go out after I shower? We'll grab a real lunch, not just macaroni salad or grilled cheese, and get enough food to last us until we fly to Pennsylvania."

"I like my macaroni salad," Sidney said.

"And I like grilled cheese, but I'd rather go on a date with you before we move five hundred kilometers apart."

"Four hundred ninety," Sid corrected.

"Four hundred and ninety," Claude said with a small nod of acknowledgement. "So? Date after my shower?"

They'd gotten to spend the summer together as they always did, but Sid wasn't going to turn down a date night - or afternoon as the case may have been - when their separation was looming over them.

He gave a small nod. "Yeah. Let's do it. It'll be nice to go out together."

"Awesome." Claude pressed their lips together again before pushing himself up to his feet. "Gimme twenty minutes."

 

 

 

 **i**.  

Their first few weeks in Pennsylvania were a busy mess as they settled into their routines. Sidney was making sure the Pens rookies and off-season acquisitions were settling in okay while Claude was adjusting to life with the Briere's.

Though Claude had spoken to Danny about his bisexuality when he'd first agreed to move in so that he could make sure it would be alright for his boyfriend to drop by, he didn't tell Danny who said boyfriend was until after the first few practices.

He told Sidney what he was planning beforehand and Sid spent the whole day feeling nervous. Danny meant a lot to Claude, Danny and his boys were Claude's closest thing to family in Philadelphia, and there was a vague fear that Danny wouldn't approve of him. He knew it was irrational, Danny didn't know Sid well enough to disapprove, but he couldn't quite shake the fear. When Claude called that night after the whole thing he was laughing and Sidney felt a surge of relief.

They talked for longer than they should have that night given that Sidney had plans to meet up for breakfast with Talbot and Duper, and Claude had morning practice, but it was nice to unwind with Claude's voice in his ear. Claude recounted his conversation with Danny, from the surprise on his face to his vehemence that they had to make sure one of the boys answered the door the first time Sidney came over so he could see their faces, and Sidney let him know what was going on with their house in Pittsburgh since they finally had contractors in it. When he finally drifted off that night, he did so feeling happy and content.

They opened the season against each other that year. Neither the Penguins or the Flyers had a game the next day, so they fell into bed with each other that night. Losing the first game of the season and the first official game in the new arena sucked for Sidney, but Claude's lips ghosting along his collar and Claude's fingers trailing along his skin took some of the sting off.

The next morning, Sidney rested his head on Claude's legs and listened to him complain about how much he hated Special K cereal. Sidney spent those hours with his face turned into Claude's thigh as he tried to hide the wide grin on his lips and muffle his laughter. That afternoon, Sidney took Claude down to the house so they could look at the preliminary changes together. Something about seeing Claude in the house at Pittsburgh, looking around as Sidney spoke to the lead contractor and interjecting with questions whenever something struck him, made Sidney's chest warm. It was a reminder that Claude thought of this place as something that was going to be his home in the same way that Sidney did.

Claude had to meet back up with the Flyers to fly out to St. Louis afterwards, but by the time Claude was climbing into a cab to head to their meet up point Sidney felt full and warm and happy. He felt like it was going to be a really good season, both in hockey and in his personal life.

In early November, he started a point streak that would last him through December. He rode the high from it, constantly in a good mood.

He tried to be realistic about things, but it was so hard to think rationally when everything in his life was going so great. He had a great relationship with his stupid cute boyfriend who he was stupid in love with and he was playing great hockey in what was on course to be one of his best seasons so far.

He didn't know what could possibly make his life any better than it already was.

 

 

 

**xx.**

Claude was searching through the cabinets in the kitchen, trying to find the moderately healthy popcorn to eat during movie night with Danny and the boys, when Caelan called out, "Claude! Sidney is calling you!"

"Caelan," Danny chided. "You know better than to look at someone's phone."

"I didn't have to look at his phone," Caelan answered. His voice was all twelve year old condescension and exasperation. "Everyone knows that Claude's ringtone for Sid is Baby Got Back."

Claude let out a sharp bark of laughter.

"Stop laughing when my kids are sassing me. It only encourages them." Danny's voice sounded a lot closer now. Claude glanced over his shoulder to see he was standing in the doorway with Claude's phone in his hand. "I silenced it so I didn't have to listen to that horrible song, but here."

Claude raised an eyebrow, "Weren't you just lecturing your kid about not messing with other people's phones?"

"Hypocrisy is the ultimate secret to parenthood," Danny dismissed. As Claude grabbed the phone from his hand, he added, "Don't feel like you have to ditch him to watch the movie, okay? You already let the boys drag you into playing Mario Kart with them instead of watching the game."

"How to Train Your Dragon looks awesome though," he said. "Just get them to hold on a few minutes? I'll get Sid to call me back later."

"If you say so."

As Danny returned to the living room, Claude swiped his thumb against the screen to answer the call. He moved it so he could hold it with his shoulder and started searching through the cabinets again, "Hey, Sid. How was the game?"

"The game was fine," Sidney said.

Claude frowned. ‘Fine’ was not something Sidney ever used to describe a game. It was always breathy, excited retellings or harsh criticism. There was something off in his voice too. It reminded Claude of the nights in Halifax when Sidney tried to pretend he wasn't drunk by focusing on his words to keep them from slurring.

"What happened?" Claude asked. His fingers tightened on the cabinet door as worry pulsed through him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fi-"

There was a muffled conversation in the background. It sounded like Sidney was arguing with someone.

It had the worry in Claude's chest growing.

"Claude, hey, it's Mario."

"Hey," Claude said, forcing the words out around the block in his throat. "What's going on with Sidney?"

"He's got a pretty serious concussion."

"How serious?" Claude said.

As dangerous as concussions were, they were also relatively common in hockey. Claude had had a few minor ones since getting called up, including the one he'd gotten courtesy of Corey Perry's elbow during his first season. For Mario to be not only concerned about Sidney's concussion, but concerned enough that he thought it was vital to inform Claude was worrying. 

He heard Mario give a soft sigh. "We're thinking grade three. He lost consciousness for a few seconds and had some confusion when we got him off the ice.”

"Confusion," Claude repeated. "Not memory loss?"

"No. No memory loss." Claude squeezed his eyes shut and let out a small breath of relief. "The team doctors do want him in the hospital for observation tonight, though. Just in case things get worse."

"Okay." Claude opened his eyes and released his grip on the cabinet. He pushed his hand through his hair as he took a breath to steady himself. "Okay. I'll call management and explain what happened. I'll let you know when everything's sorted and I'm on my way up."

Mario asked, "Aren't you supposed to be in Jersey tomorrow night?"

Claude was so wound up that if there had been any judgement in his voice, he might have lost it on him. As it was, there wasn't any judgement in his voice just curiosity as he considered their plans.

"Yes," Claude admitted. "But I'm not leaving Sidney alone if he has a grade three concussion. And before you say it, I know you and Nathalie will watch over him. I just need to make sure he's fine."

"I get it," Mario assured. "When something serious happens, you want to see the person you love and make sure they’re okay. I'm not going to reprimand you for taking one game off to come check on Sid."

Claude opened his mouth to thank Mario, but before the words got out he heard a muffled, "What?"

There was another scuffle on the other end before Sidney said, obviously having grabbed his phone back from Mario, "You are not missing your game tomorrow."

"I'm willing to bet the reason you didn't object right away is because it took you that long to understand what Mario said," Claude said.

"That's not the point."

"That's my point," Claude stressed. "You have a serious concussion."

"You weren't going to let me come down when Perry elbowed you if it meant I missed my game against the Rangers. I'm not letting you miss a game against the Devils."

"I had a mild concussion. Yours is a lot more serious."

"I didn't know that at the time, now did I?"

Claude pursed his lips. He leaned forward, putting his forehead against the cabinets. "This is really manipulative, you know?"

"I know," Sidney admitted. "But I don't want to be the reason you do anything that could endanger your career."

Claude wanted to argue that one missed game for what could be considered a family emergency wasn't going to fuck up his relationship with the Flyers management, but he also knew how any sign of unreliability could come back to bite him in the ass later.

"Fine," Claude said. "I won't come up tonight, but I'm coming to you the second my game ends. I don't have a game the day after, so I'll stay the day and leave in time to be back for my game on the eighth."

"That's fine," Sidney said. There was a brief pause before he added, "I do want you here, Claude. Things are easier to deal with when you're around. I just don't want you here at your career’s expense."

"I know." Claude sighed. "Fuck. I was supposed to watch a movie with Danny and the boys."

"You should go watch it," Sidney said. "They're going to do some more extensive testing, so I won't be able to talk much longer."

"It's going to be really hard to concentrate on How to Train Your Dragon when I know you're in the hospital."

"I know, but it's easier when you can at least pretend to focus on something else."

"Mmm."

"Hey," Sidney said, voice soft. "I love you."

Claude responded, "If you're secretly dying and telling me that for the last time knowing that, I will find a way to bring you back to life and kill you myself."

Sidney chuckled, a quiet sound. "Nothing like that, I promise. I just appreciate all of this."

"Yeah, well," Claude reached up and brushed some of his hair from his face, "I love you too."

 

 

 

**ii.**

Claude went to the All-Star game later that month. Sidney made a few comments about being upset his concussion was keeping him from being there with Claude, but more than upset, he just seemed proud of Claude. He laughed when Claude told him some of the shit Ovechkin said on the bench and when he talked about how odd it was to hear Letang talk about Sidney. When Claude told him how weird it was to be playing against Laviolette and Danny, Sidney told him a few of the funny stories from the year he’d gone to All-Stars and he praised Sharp when Claude told him he'd had fun playing on the same line with him during the game.

The remainder of the regular season passed relatively quietly.

When Claude was out of town on roadies or unable to get away from Philly, he spent his nights on the phone with Sid. Occasionally Claude would mention how a game went or Sidney would praise him for something when the Pens weren't playing and he'd managed to catch a Flyers game, but for the most part they steered clear of hockey talk.

Claude talked about Danny's boys and Isabelle's boyfriend and complained about crappy hotel TV. Sidney talked about the books he was reading and the new recipes he was trying since he actually had time to cook and tried to convince Claude to get a dog because he kept seeing them when he was out jogging. Sometimes, when Sidney had a bad day and his headaches were particularly killer, they didn't talk about much of anything. They'd just sit around with the line open, listening to the other move around their room and offering occasional comments.

On days when Claude didn't have a game or skate, mandatory or optional, he made his way to Pittsburgh.

Usually he got to Pittsburgh around ten or eleven and the two ate a late breakfast together. Sometimes Sidney had omelets ready when Claude walked in and would make Claude guess what he'd put in them instead of telling him and sometimes Claude convinced Sidney to let him pick donuts up on his way over. Sidney had reached the inevitable point in any home renovators life where he hated their contractor, so usually after breakfast they went over to the house for Claude to talk to him and see what was going on. Things were looking nice. They were pulling out for the summer, as per Sid and Claude's request, but everything was on course to be finished next season.

Over the course of Sidney's time in Pittsburgh he'd figured out which places were safe to go to without anyone recognizing him, or at least being respectful when they did, so when Claude was in town they usually went out for the afternoon. Sometimes they just went out for a walk at the park near Sidney's house, which always brought up the dog argument again because Sidney loved every one he saw, and got lunch from a diner nearby. Claude always ended up ordering a shake with his food, sucking on the straw obnoxiously when Sidney got his this-is-unhealthy-and-you-are-a-pro-athlete look and tying cherry stems with his tongue before wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously to make Sid laugh. Sometimes they went to the mini-golf place that Sidney had gone to with his teammates or to a small arcade Sidney had found that had as many old school machines as it did new ones. Afternoons like that always reminded Claude of the days back when they'd first met, two teenagers who spent as much time arguing over who was going to pay as they did finding corners to kiss in.

They spent their evenings sitting around the apartment. Some nights they turned the stereo on and Sidney sat on the couch with Claude's head on his lap, running fingers through ginger locks, as the two of them talked. Occasionally Claude would close his eyes, sing along softly, and when he opened them Sidney would be looking down at him with an expression so fond he couldn't help leaning up to kiss him. Occasionally something would come on that had Claude pulling Sidney to his feet and forcing him to dance around the room. Some nights it was just video games and movies and TV shows.

He wasn't happy Sidney was injured, especially not to the degree he was, but Claude certainly liked not having to schedule their meet ups around two separate hockey schedules. It was nice to see Sidney more than two or three times per month.

As good as things were during the regular season, things started souring as playoffs approached.

It started with criticisms about Claude's performances and little digs at the Flyers. Most of it, Claude brushed off as Sidney just being too intense about hockey.

Then came the little snaps. Claude would be talking about something and Sidney would cut him off with something that rung a little too true to be teasing. Claude told Sidney about how he was arguing with Scott Hartnell over how a grilled cheese should be cooked. Sidney answered with some snide comment about how Hartnell should listen to Claude since cooking grilled cheese was the only adult skill Claude had. Claude told Sidney about playing street hockey with Danny's boys. Sidney asked why they hadn't wanted to play with their dad considering Danny had actually been drafted to the Q. Claude mentioned helping Versteeg find a hotel to stay in since his late season trade to the Flyers was so abrupt. Sidney snorted and said Claude was certainly good at finding hotels in Philadelphia.

The longer it went on, the more Claude started snapping back. He told Sidney that yeah, maybe he'd lived in hotels for a while but at least he was capable of living by himself instead of staying with the Lemieux's. He told him that Danny and Sidney may have gotten drafted to the Q, but Claude made it on a try out and kicked ass. He told him that grilled cheese may have been the only thing he could make, but at least he didn't need to worry that one unhealthy food was going to trash his body.

Sidney started claiming headaches to get out of phone calls when they started going south and Claude would make up imaginary plans with Danny and the boys.

For the first time since Sidney started with the Pens, Claude spent a night in a hotel in Pittsburgh instead of in Sidney's bed.

It wasn't always bad, there were still a lot of good days, but the days that were bad sucked.

Claude got it to an extent. Sidney's head wasn't getting any better. He was upset that he had missed half a season and furious that he was going to miss playoffs. Claude understood that, he just didn't understand why Sidney was taking it out on him.

They got into their biggest fight the day Tampa Bay knocked the Penguins out of the playoffs.

The conversation was sour from the start with Sidney coming out the gate with an angry comment about giving other teams a chance to win the Cup. Claude knew he didn't mean anything by it, that Sidney was just frustrated with how his season has went, but the insinuation that the Flyers - and any other team for that matter - hadn't worked their asses off to get there rubbed him the wrong way.

He'd retorted.

They ended up screaming at each other for an hour before Claude called Sidney a hockey obsessed narcissist who didn't know how to love something that wasn't a puck and whipped his phone into a wall.

He'd stood in the kitchen, shivering and breathing shakily, for what felt like hours before Danny came in. Claude immediately felt like an asshole for doing that whole thing in Danny's home and he felt a flood of relief that the boys stayed with Danny's ex-wife during playoff season. When he went to apologize though, Danny shushed him and told him he knew what Claude was going through.

As they picked up the pieces of his phone, Claude thought about how that made him feel even worse considering Danny was divorced. He was so angry, but he still couldn't imagine a world were Sidney wasn't a constant in his life.

Despite that, Claude waited to call Sidney until the morning of the Flyers first game against the Bruins. Their hellos were awkward and stilted. It was a few minutes of conversation about the weather in Halifax, Sidney had returned home immediately after the Pens loss, and Claude's latest conversation with his mother before they started spewing apologies.

By the end of it Claude was crying, but he also felt like things were going to get better over the summer.

He was wrong.

The first few weeks back at their home in Nova Scotia were great. Sidney hadn't had any concussion symptoms in weeks and neither of them Cup but they had each other again.

Then Sidney got a headache so severe that he spent the day laying in their bed with the lights turned off and absolutely no sound. Claude spent the day trying to be as accommodating as he could, smoothing Sidney's hair back and asking him in whispers whether he wanted water or soup or absolutely anything.

Claude wasn't sure whether it was the fact that the concussion symptoms were back or if he'd unintentionally made Sidney feel worse by not leaving him alone that day, but in the aftermath of Sidney's headache they were back to fighting constantly.

 

 

 

** xxx. **

"I just don't know what to do anymore, mama," Claude said. He was sitting on his and Sidney's bed. He had his back against the headboard while his legs stretched out in front of him. His head was tilted back as he looked up at the ceiling. "We're fighting all the time and it just- it hurts so much."

"Oh, mon petit," his mother said. He wanted to close his eyes and pretend he couldn't hear the heartbreak in her words. His parents’ opinion on his relationship had made it seem more real before, but that meant that them noticing the deterioration of it also made that seem more real.

"Sidney is supposed to be my forever," Claude continued. "The only future I’ve ever thought of is one with him in it.”

"Just because it's the only future you've thought of doesn't mean it's the only future available to you," she said. "Your future is whatever you want it to be."

Claude's voice broke as he answered, "He's the only future I want, though."

She was quiet for a moment before saying, "You and Sidney started your relationship at a very vital time in your lives. You've been with each other for your whole adult life. You can't see a future without him because you've never thought seriously about your future without him by your side. Maybe that's your problem. Maybe you need time to actually see what a future without him would be like."

"Mama, I don't get what you're suggesting," Claude said. He pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping one arm around them to keep them in place. "Are you saying Sid and I should...I don't know, take a break?"

"I'm saying it's an option," his mother declared. "I won't lie to you, Claude. I've thought you were going to marry Sidney since the first time I saw you two looking at each other like the other held the sun, the moon, and the stars in their palm. But I don't want that for you if it's going to be at the expense of your happiness."

Claude stared down at the comforter on the bed. He remembered arguing with Sidney about it in the stores, back when their only arguments involved laughing and friendly shoulder punches. Sidney had wanted to get something dark, but Claude had wanted color. They'd settled for this one, made with thick strips of blue and brown and creme.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Claude asked. He fisted the blanket in his hands, feeling very fiercely like he didn't want to lose any of this. He didn't want to lose everything good just because they'd had a few bad months. "I mean don't all relationships have rough patches? I shouldn't run away just because we're having problems for the first time, right?"

"Yes, but those rough patches are the time to look at your relationship," she advised. "They're for you to look at everything and think. Are you still in love with each other or are you just comfortable? Is the pain worth it or is it just too much? Can you continue to grow in this relationship or do you need to be apart? You use rough patches to evaluate and make sure the relationship is still healthy and good for you."

Claude tried to think about those questions, but all he came up with was, "I don't know. How am I supposed to know?"

"I can't tell you that, chéri," she said. "This is something you have to decide for yourself."

Claude ran his tongue along his lips. He was just about to say something, when the bedroom door opened.

Sidney didn't have a shirt on, just a pair of shorts that were riding low enough that Claude could see the waistband of his boxers. He leaned against the doorway, making a motion with his hand to ask Claude whether he was still on the phone or if he was wrapping up.

"Mama, I gotta go," Claude said. He stretched out of the ball he'd curled into. He wiped at his eyes. He hadn't been crying, really, but there was some wetness there. He hoped Sidney would dismiss it as sweat. The bedroom was hot when they didn't have the air conditioning on. He flashed a smile at Sid as he explained, "Sidney just walked in the room. He looks like he wants my attention."

Sidney gave a smile of his own, lifting one shoulder as if to say of-course-I-want-your-attention.

"Okay. Think about what I said, alright? And remember that I love you, mon ange."

"I will. Je t'aime, maman."

Sidney waited until Claude had hung up to speak, "Are you hungry? I was thinking we could have chicken-bacon wraps and beers on the deck."

"That's sounds great," Claude said. He rolled off the bed. He stretched out for a minute, popping his back and rolling out his shoulders. "I'll come help. Make sure we don't end up with burnt bacon."

"Look," Sidney said as Claude approached him. "Just because you don't like crispy bacon doesn't mean it's burnt."

"It's burnt!" Claude insisted. Sidney had sprawled out in the doorway, so he ducked under his arm. "You wouldn't eat any other kind of meat if it crunched like that!"

 

 

 

**iii.**

The summer continued to be bumpy.

Some days were great. Sometimes Claude would lie on the lounger while Sidney swam in the lake and when Sidney was done he'd flop into the seat with Claude. Despite any complaints about Sid getting him wet, Claude would end up pressed against him with one of Sid's arms slung over his waist. They'd lie there for hours, their voices soft as they talked about whatever was on their mind and let the sun dry the water from their skin. Sometimes Sidney would be laying on the couch with a book and Claude would settle himself on Sidney's thighs. Sidney would usually ignore him for a few minutes before peering at him over the top of the book. Claude just smiled and stared back. When Sidney finally closed the book and set it on the ground next to the couch, Claude would lean over to kiss him again and again and again.

Some days were bad and when things were bad they were terrible. After seven years together, Sidney and Claude knew just how to hurt each other. More and more often, they went for it. They tore into each other until doors were slammed and someone was sleeping on the couch and they hadn't spoken to each other in sixteen hours.

Usually they left for Pennsylvania at the same time, sometimes flying separately and sometimes flying to Philly where Mario would pick Sid up, but that year Claude left before Sidney.

He'd decided to get an apartment with Schenn and he wanted to get everything set up before training camp took up all of their time. The fact that it would put him far away from Sidney was just an added bonus.

Things settled down as the season started.

In November, Sidney was cleared to play again. Claude felt a horrible mix of relief and worry. He wanted this whole thing to be over and for them to go back to normal, but he also didn't want it at the risk Sidney's health.

When Sid called after the game he sounded breathless and amazed and happier than he had in months. Claude felt like his heart was going to burst open. Even with all the fighting, he was still stupid in love with Sidney and hearing him sound so good was fantastic.

Predictably because nothing in Claude's life could go right, Sidney's concussion symptoms flared up after seven games and everything imploded the next time the Flyers played the Penguins.

 

 

 

**xxxx.**

"What the fuck were you thinking!"

Claude blinked slowly as he tried to process the words Sidney was shouting at him. He'd only just gotten home from celebrating the Flyers win against the Penguins and all of his adrenaline had faded away.

He was exhausted and aching. All he wanted to do was have a nice conversation with his boyfriend before he collapsed into his bed.

"What?" Claude asked.

He wracked his brain for something he could have done to piss Sidney off, but they hadn't talked since the night before and most of that conversation was lost in the fuzzy haze from the two beers he'd drank at the bar.

"What the fuck were you thinking!" Sidney repeated, putting a little more emphasis into his words as if Claude would magically understand. "Geno could have taken your head off!"

With understanding slowly dawning, Claude asked, "Wait, what? This is about Malkin trying to elbow me during today's game?"

"He's twice your fucking size, Claude!" Sidney shouted. "Couldn't you keep your mouth shut for five fucking minutes and skate away?"

"Hold on," Claude said. Anger was breaking through the pleasant buzz he'd gotten with the Flyers. He was suddenly glad Schenn had stayed behind with Simmonds and Voracek. "Why are you yelling at me about this? He's the one who did it. I was just playing hockey. Maybe a little rough, but not anything illegal."

"I don't care if Geno picks up a suspension. I care that my boyfriend almost picked up a second elbow hit to the head because he couldn't keep his mouth shut instead of goading players significantly larger than him!"

Claude could see the way this conversation was going to go. He would argue that the thing with Perry had been years ago and Sidney would yell that Claude clearly hadn't learned anything since then and they'd keep screaming until they forgot what the argument was. He could see how it would go and he was just...so tired of all of this.

The anger disappeared as fast as it'd come, leaving his chest feeling hollow.

"Maybe you should stop caring then," he said.

Sidney's reply was snapped, obviously not understanding what Claude was saying, "What?"

"I can't do this anymore, Crosby." He heard Sidney let out a sharp breath, like the usage of his last name in a private conversation was cluing him in. "I love you, but I can't keep fighting with you all the time. I can't live like this."

"What are you saying?" Sidney asked.

"I'm saying I'm done. We’re done," Claude declared. He felt his heart shatter in his chest as he clarified, "I'm breaking up with you."

He knew it was a dick move, but he hung up and turned his phone off.

He stared at the wall for a minute before bracing his hands against the counter and hanging his head.

Fuck his diet plan he was going to eat a gallon of ice cream before Schenn got home, but first he was going to cry until it stopped hurting so badly.

 

 

 

**iiii.**

Sidney let himself drift for a week after the breakup.

Then he gathered everything up and hardened it.

He focused the way his heart felt splintered and how it felt like someone had just ripped something vital out of his body. He focused on the sadness and the pain. He tightened his hold on it and molded it into anger.

He threw himself into hockey. They weren't letting him play contact yet, but he could skate and he could shoot and he did both as often as possible.  

He got back in the game in March and didn't get pulled out again.

Playoffs started with the Penguins playing the Flyers.

Sidney wielded all of his anger from the past few months like a sharpened sword. He checked and he slashed and he insulted. The ice turned into a warzone as the Penguins tuned into his anger and the Flyers reacted to it.

Claude had already smashed most of Sidney's dreams for the future. He wasn't getting Sidney's dream for a second Cup as well.

The moment when the haze cleared came very suddenly and without warning.

It was after the Flyers eliminated the Penguins. He had been sitting on the bench, stewing in everything, when he'd heard his phone go off.

When he picked it up there was a message waiting for him from an unknown Philadelphia number. He'd considered ignoring it, but ultimately thumbed it open.

It turned out to be from Brayden Schenn. It said that Claude was having surgery on his wrists, most likely the result of Sidney's "asshole" slashing, so he was sending his mother to pick his things up from the house in Halifax.

Sitting there on that bench, Sidney had a sudden moment of clarity.

He realized how many of his arguments with Claude had been his fault and how much of it Sidney had started simply because he didn't know how else to react to his frustration. He realized how even though he was blaming Claude for the breakup, it had been him starting the fighting and him who had been the one to push Claude to it.

He realized how even though he might have been able to patch up all of the fighting, he couldn't fix the fact that he'd told reporters he didn't like any of the Flyers or any role he might have played in the breaking of Claude's wrists.

That night, he barely made it into his apartment before he was sliding to the floor.

With his back against the door and his head bowed so his forehead touched his knees, he let himself cry for the first time since the breakup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I wrote this on my phone bc I somehow managed to fry my laptop while I was asleep. I tried to make sure there weren't many spelling issues or anything, but it's possible things slipped through and I'm really sorry if they did.
> 
> 2) The first scene was supposed to be some slice of life domestic fluff before the rest of this chapter, but it might just be boring ╮(╯▽╰)╭
> 
> 3) The transition from the first interlude into the second scene is so fucking perfect. It was completely unplanned too? I was just gonna wrote some Sidney fluff and then it ended up being the perfect segway to the beginning of the angst.
> 
> 4) Meant to include Sidney's first meeting with Danny B in the second interlude, but waysided it for you know - what I actually wrote.
> 
> 5) I'm not a doctor, but I tried my best to give Sidney concussion symptoms that would represent a concussion of the grade that would keep him out of the game for as long as he was. 
> 
> 6) It's not directly addressed but I imagine Claude and Sid have each others medical proxy. Partly bc their relationship is that serious and partly bc they’re each others closest family.
> 
> 7) I'm unsure on the second scene. The conversation seems all over the place + Sid seems way too coherent for someone with a serious concussion.
> 
> 8) I think Sid actually has a dog?? But idk when he got it so, not a current thing in his life
> 
> 9) it's a universal truth that EVERYONE hates their contractor by the end of the job. Especially a job as big as the one Sid and Claude would be having done given how long it's taking.
> 
> 10) on that note - the timeline on Sidney buying and selling his Pittsburgh house had been stretched in this story. 
> 
> 11) I'm wondering if the turn for the worse actually happened too fast? The second interlude is a lot of good and then a lot of bad. There's a lot of history between so maybe Claude jumping to a break up so quickly was too much? 
> 
> 12) If the wrist thing hadn't happened then the Claude&Sidney of this universe probs would have fixed things over the summer. Like, they would have broken up but Claude wouldn't have gotten so upset that he didn't go to pick his things up and Sid will would have realized he was a dick and they'd fix things over the summer and been tentatively optimistic going into the 12-13 season. But it did so you get this sad story...
> 
> 13) Danny is pretty much the only Flyer mentioned in this chapter even tho I mentioned lots of Pens in Sidney's sections last chapter. That's because my faves (Schenn, Simmons, Couturier, Voracek) don't pop up until the 2011-2012 season which happens @ the end of this chapter and focuses on the deteriorating relationship. The boys will be there next chapter!
> 
> 14) These chapters just get longer and longer jfc. I could have cut this chapter into two sections, but I thought it flowed better together. 
> 
> 15) I know the first four sections are significantly longer then the ending bits and apologise for the inconsistency in the length. That was just what I liked best for those scenes. 
> 
> 16) a lot more Claude on this chapter then Sid. As much as I wanted to even it out, I thought this worked best with the breakup addressing Claude's thoughts since he's the instigator
> 
> 17) I just want to point out also that the conflict is the fact that Sidney is frustrated and taking it out on the person closest to him, not necessarily that he's an asshole without hockey? I'm worried that's not clear given the timing of their arguments and such.
> 
> 18) I'm not sure I like the ending of this chapter at all TBH. It just feels a little too rushed and under done I guess?


	5. Your Heart to Mine (Unmeasurable)

**x. January 2013**

The table was unusually quiet as Geno, Tanger, Flower, and Sidney settled at their table for lunch. They were at one of their favorite restaurants near the Consol, one that they frequented for after practice lunches.

Sidney had been leery of going out after announcing his sexuality at their first team practice since the lockout, but these guys were important to him. The whole team was to an extent, but these were his best friends and talking to them about this mattered to him a lot.

"So," Flower said as he picked up his menu. Sidney braced himself. "Is there someone special? Someone things are getting serious with?"

Sidney hadn't been expecting them to start there and it sent a sharp pain through his chest.

He'd always imagined that when he finally told the team about him the answer to that question would be yes. He'd thought he'd be ducking his head and grinning stupidly as he told them that he was with Claude. He'd imagined chirps about dating a Flyer and explaining how they'd met.

"No," Sidney said instead. He tried to keep his voice even, burying the pain down in his chest. He must have succeeded because none of them look at him strangely.

"Then why now?" Geno questioned. He looked away from his menu to meet Sidney's eyes. "Is risky, yes? Even in America? Would understand if boy involved, is important and would not want to make him feel unloved, yes?, but you say there's not."

There were a lot of reasons why Sidney had chosen to come out now, when his relationship with Claude was in shatters, but Sidney didn’t really want to talk about any of them.

Sidney didn't want to talk about how he'd spent the first few weeks in Halifax packing Claude's things into boxes. He didn't want to talk about how alone he'd felt the night Claude's mother showed up to get them and how he'd sat on the floor in their - his - bedroom that night with a thousand dollar bottle of scotch and drank until he couldn't remember anything. He didn't want to talk about how he couldn't ask anyone about Claude's recovery and spent the summer tracking it through articles on Flyers fansites. He didn't want to talk about how he'd only found out that Claude was going to play in Germany with Danny because Mario had mentioned it. He didn’t want to talk about how no one knew he cared about Claude so Sidney didn't hear about Claude neck and shoulder injury until Jonny mentioned it off hand.

He didn't want to talk about how long he'd spent wishing his friends knew so that he had someone he could confide in and trust with how he was feeling, so that he had someone to help him through this.

As much as he wanted a friendly shoulder to cry on, though, he also really didn't want to talk about Claude because the break up still felt like a gaping wound.

Instead he said, "We’re getting older. It just felt like it was time.”

"What like..." Tanger paused as if he was searching for the words, "You're looking for someone to settle down with and you want us to be ready when you meet them?"

"No. Not like that," Sidney dismissed with a shake of his head. Claude was the only person who he wanted to spend his life with. That hadn't stopped being true just because he’d ruined their relationship. "Just - I'm not as worried about it anymore, I guess? It’s important to me for you guys to know and I trust you guys aren't going to go out me to Deadspin."

For a moment the other three were quiet, each looking like they were processing Sidney's explanation in their own way.

Then Flower said, "Alright. If you do want to start looking though, let me know. Vero and I have a few friends that you might like."

Sidney laughed, though it sounded a little hollow to his ears. "I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon, but I'll let you know."

 

 

 

 **i.**  

After the summer he'd had, Sidney was glad to be on the ice.

When he was on the ice, he didn't have to think about anything other than hockey.

He didn't have to think about how he'd spent the summer drinking and trying to forget how badly he'd hurt the person who meant the most to him in the world. He didn't have to think about how Claude had showed up to the NHL awards with Paul Bissonnette and how, even though he'd known it was a joke/friend date, seeing Claude with another guy had felt like someone was trying to crush his heart with their bare hands. He didn't have to think about how he'd sold the Pittsburgh house to Morehouse the second he'd shown interest because he couldn't imagine living there without Claude and wanted the reminder of the future he’d lost gone as quickly as possible.

When he was on the ice, Sidney could wipe all of that from his mind and focus instead on playing good hockey.

As much as he wanted to, though, he couldn't spend all of his time on the ice.

After messing his relationship with Claude up so fantastically, he was terrified of doing the same with his friendships so when practice wasn't an option he spent as much time as possible with his friends.

He let Geno drag him out to every Russian restaurant in Pittsburgh - and a few in DC that Ovechkin recommended - and tried his best not to butcher the language when ordering. When Nealer, Suttsy, and Kuni asked if he wanted to play paintball with them on one of their days off, he agreed without any hesitation and laughed so he couldn't breathe when Nealer looked personally offended by Sid and Kuni beating him and Suttsy. On the days when he missed Canada a little more than usual, he’d invite Tanger over. They would cook themselves a stack of pancakes as long as their forearms and cover them in authentic Canadian maple syrup.

The only issue Sidney had was the fact that Vero and Flower kept throwing dinner parties which were very obvious attempts to set him up with friends of theirs. He didn't want to ruin their fun, so he'd stay and make pleasant conversation for as short an amount of time as possible before ducking out.

The only time he didn't make it through dessert was when they invited a French-Canadian friend of theirs with an accent that sounded nothing like Claude's, but was still too close for Sidney to hear all night. He'd left almost immediately that night, making an excuse about how he'd only dropped by to say hello because he had plans of some kind at home.

Even with Flower and Vero's meddling, though, Sidney had a good practice season.

It was short, on account of the lockout, but Sidney was happy.

Part of him had forgotten over summer that just because he would never be as happy as he was with Claude didn't mean that he would never be happy again. Claude made him happy, ridiculously and stupidly happy, but he wasn't the only one who made Sidney smile.

When the Penguins played the Flyers in their season opening, Sidney watched as Claude warmed up with a C on his chest and fire in his eyes.

A burst of pride swept through him. The Flyers had announced it when they decided to give Claude the captaincy, so Sidney had known but hearing and seeing were completely different things.

He remembered the first time Claude had seen him after Sidney had taken the Penguins Captaincy. Claude had still been playing with the Olympiques, but he'd come down to Pittsburgh with Sidney so they could spend a few days together before training camp. Sidney had modeled the home Jersey for Claude the second he'd been able to, convincing management to let him take it from the locker room, and Claude had lavished him with attention. They'd drawn a line at actually fucking when Sidney was wearing it, but it'd taken a lot of self-control on both their parts. Even after Sidney took the Jersey off, Claude murmured how proud he was of Sidney against his lips, his neck, his collar.

Sidney forced the memory out of his head and turned away from the Flyers warm-ups.

He could be happy, Sidney reminded himself. He'd ruined the greatest thing in his life and he'd spend the rest of his life paying for that in some way, but that didn't mean he couldn't be happy.

He had a great family, a great team, and great friends.

He had hockey.

He could be satisfied with that.

 

 

 

**xx. January 2014**

Claude was sitting on the kitchen counter eating cereal in nothing but a pair of baggy Flyers sweatpants when he heard the door open.

Brayden walked in with his eyes bloodshot and his clothes rumpled. There was a firm frown planted on his lips.

Claude let out a low whistle. "Fun night?"

"No," he answered, sounding irritated and exhausted. He stared at the bowl of Cheerios in Claude's hand for a minute. Then he said, "I deserve chocolate. Do we still have Reese's puffs?"

"Pretty sure I saw a box in the back of the cabinet," Clause replied. He asked, "What happened?"

"Coots decided to be the biggest cockblock in Pennsylvania," he said. They kept most of their guilty pleasures in the back of their cabinets so they wouldn't be tempted, so Brayden had to push aside boxes of Special K bars and granola. "So I drank until I was puking and then crashed on Hartsy's couch."

"Oh man," Claude said, amused. "If I'd known you were gonna be an idiot, I'd have stayed longer Schenner."

"Should've," he answered as he found the Reese's puffs and pulled them out of the cabinet. "Coots can ruin your sex life instead of mine."

Claude snorted as he spooned cheerios into his mouth. Once he'd swallowed, he said, "I’d need to have a sex life for Coots to ruin it.”

Brayden had been reaching to pull the dishwasher open and grab a bowl, but he paused now. He glanced over at Claude, "What? You haven't picked up at all lately?"

"No," Claude said. "Why are you surprised by this? When have you ever seen me leave a bar with someone?"

"I thought you were just doing it when I wasn't around!"

"We live together!" Claude exclaimed, baffled and confused in equal measure. He didn't understand how Brayden had missed this, but he also didn't understand why is mattered. "Don't you think you would have noticed if I brought someone home?"

"I mean maybe, but I've never seen you bring anyone back so-" He cut off abruptly. Feeling like he knew what Brayden had realized, Claude focused his gaze on his bowl. He really didn’t want to have this conversation at all, but he definitely didn’t want to have it this early in the morning. "Claude, please tell me you've had sex since 2012."

"Why is that any of your business?"

"Because you’re my friend, G!" Brayden exclaimed. Claude wished they could go back to when this conversation had just been him teasing Brayden about his night. "I don’t want to sit here and watch you pine for someone who treated you like shit."

"Hey," Claude objected, straightening up defensively. "You don't get an opinion on that alright? You don't know anything about it."

"I don't know anything about it?" His voice was all anger and disbelief. "Claude, I live with you! I know better than anyone - better than him even - how miserable you were back then!”

"You don't know how happy I was," Claude said. He wasn't quite yelling, but the words were louder than he meant for them to be. He took small breath before continuing, making sure to keep his voice level now, "All you saw was the bad, okay? You don't know how during his first summer on a NHL diet, he would make two sets of food for us just so he could see me smile when he made one of my favorites. You don't know how we flew to Pennsylvania together once I signed with the Flyers and he spent the whole plane ride telling me all the places he wanted to show me because we were going to spend our lives here. You don't know how good it felt to have him call me after a win and tell me how good I'd done or how after losses he would call me and talk about something he knew I loved just to make me smile when I felt like shit. You don't know how even when it seemed like we were fighting all the time, there were days when we would fall asleep on our porch with our arms wrapped around each other or how we would watch stupid movies like Dinocroc vs. Supergator all night. I'm not arguing that it wasn't bad, because it was horrible and there's a reason I ended it, but you never saw the good times. You have no idea how easy it was to be in love with him. So if I want to go two or five or ten years without having sex because I'm still in love with him, it's my choice. You don't get an opinion on it."

There was a long stretch of silence before Schenn said, voice soft and almost apologetic, "I just want you to be happy, Claude."

"I am happy," Claude insisted. "This may not be the happiest time in my life, but it's pretty damn good."

 

 

 

**ii.**

Claude wasn't lying when he told Brayden he was happy.

It'd taken him a while to adjust, from late 2004 to early 2012 he'd had Sidney either by his side physically or on the phone talking to him and not having that anymore was a big change, but he'd found his footing and he felt good about it.

Claude had spent a surprising large amount of time with Sidney considering how busy they were and how far apart they lived, so now that they weren't with each other anymore he had a lot more free time.

Before their nightly phone calls had had Sidney at the top of his contact list by far, now it was usually Danny who topped his most called list. Danny might not have been in Philly anymore, but for years he had been Claude's best friend and his closest thing to family in Philadelphia, and a buyout didn't change that. So the two of them checked in on each other often, Claude ranting about the few TV shows his schedule allowed him to watch and Danny started telling stories that he insisted were evidence that Carey Price was actually a wizard.

Before he'd been spending his days off driving or flying to Pittsburgh, but now that he wasn't doing that he usually spent his days off with his teammates.

Sometimes it was just him and Brayden lazing around the apartment with Luke occasionally dropping in to steal a few beers and tease his brother. Sometimes he went out with the others. Coots convinced Claude to go out sledding with him and Laurence, he went to the boxing gym with Emery one day and went home regretting his choices as Emery laughed at him, he had lunch with Hartsy and Kimmo and spent more time throwing fries then he did talking about anything captainly.

Claude still loved Sidney, he didn't think he'd ever stop being in love with him, but he didn't regret breaking up with him.

Being happy without Sidney was a lot better than being miserable with him.

That being said, it wasn't all bad and Claude was vividly reminded of that when the Olympics rolled around that February.

He been left off the roster, he would have loved to be in the Olympics but he understood that the Flyers season had really been ideal and he was mostly just flattered that so many people were upset that he was left off it, so he spent the two-week break staying in Ottawa with his parents.

Sitting on the couch with his father and watching the Canadian hockey matches was so vividly similar to four years ago that it physically hurt.

He felt every fierce burst of pride that he had felt when he'd been watching the Vancouver games, only this time Sidney wasn't going to show up at Claude's door with his gold medal around his neck and Claude wasn't going to be able to grab the lanyard and reign him in for a kiss. Claude wasn't going to spend the night pressing his lips and fingers against Sidney's body in reward. They weren't going to spend the morning in bed, Claude propped up on the headboard and running his hands through Sidney's hair while Sidney laid with his head in Claude's lap and told him stories from the village that hadn't made it into their phone calls.

What he mourned when Canada won gold wasn't the opportunity to wear the medal, but the opportunity to celebrate it with Sidney.

  

 

 

**xxx. July 2014**

Sidney had just set down the groceries his mother had asked him to bring over for their family barbeque when he heard Taylor say, "Oh. Hey, Sid."

He looked over his shoulder to see his sister standing in the doorway with her phone held up to her ear.

He smiled at her, "Hey, Taylor. Help me put these away for mom?"

She gave a nod. As she walked over to the counter he'd set the bags on, she spoke to whoever she was on the phone with, "I'm going to help my brother put the groceries away, so I'll let you go." There was a beat as whoever she was talking to answered before she said, "Okay. And I know I've said it a hundred times already, but thank you for the camera you got me for my birthday."

Sidney felt his eyebrows raise. He'd seen Taylor's new camera. It was a shiny, expensive thing that he'd assumed she'd gotten from their parents. Considering that he highly doubted she was referring to him as "my brother" when on the phone with their parents, he realized he must have been wrong.

Which brought up the question of who else would be buying his little sister such expensive gifts.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, doing his best to sound casual about it as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

There was a beat where she seemed to hesitate before saying, "Claude."

Sidney felt his heart tighten in his chest. He wasn't sure what was worse - initial assumption that his sister was dating some guy old enough to be buying her expensive things or that she was talking to Claude and he'd had no idea.

"What?" slipped past his lips, questioning and confused.

"I asked him for advice a few weeks ago," Taylor said. She shrugged as if it was no big deal. "He was checking up on the situation."

Sidney didn't know what to say, so what he settled on eventually was, "I didn't know you were talking to him."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"We-" Even now the words were hard to get out, so he swallowed once before starting over, "We broke up a while ago, you know?"

"Yeah, but you started dating Claude when I was eight. He's as much my brother as you are." She looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since the conversation, "You still talk to his sister, don't you?"

Sidney did. He texted Isabelle fairly frequently and called her once every two or three weeks.

He still felt guilty about missing her wedding. She'd tried to convince him to go multiple times, but he'd still been hurt and he didn't want to ruin her day by being miserable every time he saw her brother. He'd settled for sending her a voicemail during the ceremony, knowing her phone would be off and she could see it afterwards, letting her know how happy he was for her. She'd called him before she left for her honeymoon, telling him she understood even if she was upset he had hadn't been there.

Instead of explaining his relationship with Isabelle, Sidney said, "You don't have to be defensive about it. I just didn't know you talked.”

She hummed, but didn't say anything else.

They worked primarily in silence, the exception being Sidney's few questions about Taylor's summer so far and where she wanted to go on their annual brother-sister getaway weekend, for a while.

 They only had two or three things left to put away when she said, "He still loves you." Sidney froze. His fingers tightened around the box he'd been about to store in the cabinet. Taylor continued, either not noticing or not caring, "I asked him a few months ago. He said he couldn't imagine ever not being in love with you."

"Taylor," Sidney choked out.

She continued to ignore him, "I know you guys broke up because things were bad, but maybe if you showed him-"

"Taylor!" He shouted, snappish and angry. She turned to face him. "Just stop, okay?"

"But-"

"Please," Sidney pleaded. "Just...please stop."

He was relieved when she nodded, eyes falling to her feet with guilt.

Normally Sidney would have tried to soothe her, but right now everything was a confusing mixture of heartbreak and hope and all he wanted to do was sleep because everything felt like too much.

 

 

 

**iii.**

The thing is, Sidney had never let himself consider the possibility of Claude taking him back.

He knew how badly he'd hurt him, he hadn't realized it at the time but whenever he remembered anything from their last few months he realized how blind he'd been to think things were okay, but Taylor had said Claude was still in love with him.

Part of him didn't believe that, couldn't understand how Claude could still love him after everything he'd done, but he didn't think Taylor would lie to him like that. She wouldn't give him false hope when she knew how much Claude meant to him.

Sidney had a lot to apologize for, a lot to prove, but if Claude was still in love with him then he at least had a chance at getting him back.

Once the idea was in his head, Sidney found he couldn't stop thinking about it.

When he went back to his house after dinner with his parents, he found himself thinking about the cupboards being filled with all of Claude's guilty pleasures. Sidney had packed away all of the pictures of them, the individual ones from their draft days as well as the ones of them looking at each other with laughter on frozen lips and affection in their eyes, but now he started imagining putting them back up on the mantle or on the walls.

When the season started and he went back to Pittsburgh, he started thinking about Claude slotting back into his life there. He looked around the new house and wondered what Claude would want done to make this house theirs the way the other one was intended to be. He spent more time looking around the area near the house, spotting the things he thought Claude would appreciate like the bakery down the street that he though Claude would love on his cheat days.

When the Flyers and the Penguins met each other for the first time that season Sidney saw Claude laughing at something Streit had said to him and thought about being able to make Claude laugh again. When they crouched for the first face off Sidney caught a glimpse of Claude's eyes and thought about being able to see them when they honey warm with sleepy affection or dark with arousal.

He didn't act on it that day, didn't change as quickly as he could and race off to the Flyers locker room to catch Claude before he left, because he felt like they wouldn't have enough time to air thing between them.

He thought it'd be best to message, or call if Claude would answer his phone call, during the summer to see if Claude was willing to meet up and discuss things.

The summer was so far away, though, and every inch of Sidney was screaming for him to go to Claude so he could have him back sooner rather than later.

So Sidney wasn't exactly happy when the Rangers beat the Penguins in the first round of playoffs, but he wasn't as disappointed as he had been in previous seasons because getting knocked out of the playoffs meant he could go to Prague for Worlds.

Claude was in Prague.

Sidney knew they'd be busy, but they'd at least be in the same place longer enough for Sidney to talk to him.

Sidney had given up a lot for hockey, but as he got ready to fly to Prague he felt like maybe Claude didn't have to be one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Still writing on a phone so continued apologies for shitty spelling and auto-correct errors
> 
> 2) This is the chapter that I changed the chapter titles for. 
> 
> 3) I had an issue with this chapter where I wrote the first scene and then got sad bc I wanted to write the rest of this chapter but couldn't because I still needed to write chapters of my Check Please and Batman fics.
> 
> 4) I know some of you may have wanted the reactions of the whole team to Sid's coming out, but I really wanted to focus on those teammates I see him as closest to. 
> 
> 5) Did I over do the brokenness of Geno's English?? I tried to emulate how I've seen people write him or Ovi but I'm not sure I nailed it. 
> 
> 6) Can I elect Satisfied from Hamilton as the sound track for Sidney's first interlude
> 
> 7) Rereading the first section and interlude and I don't like it but I can't think of a way to fix it either? Let me know how you guys felt about it. 
> 
> 8) Also a bit worried the first sections are too repetitive? I just wanted to show that Claude's feelings were similar to Sidney's? And also show some of their friendships because this fic has focused a lot on just them. Hopefully you guys enjoyed the mentions of Flyers and Penguins. 
> 
> 9) On that note - this chapter made me really sad, not because of Sid and Claude, but because I really miss Hartsy. 
> 
> 10) I tried to balance how Sidney and Claude moving on with how much they miss each other and how fiercely they still love each other, but I'm worried it came out a little too imbalanced? More unstable and nonsense-y then realistic?
> 
> 11) Unsure about the Taylor scene tbh? I know some rpf fandom avoid mentions of real family but I've seen scenes with hockey players families before and I always think it's fine as long as you understand it's fantasy so I left it? I may take it out in a later edit.
> 
> 12) I'm really unsure about this chapter in general?? There's something about it that I just don't like.
> 
> 13) Also, I apologize that thinks so short. Usually these chapters get to around 7K and this one barely hits 4. There was initially a fourth part - a second for Claude - but I thought that would end up better as an opener for the next chapter. 
> 
> 14) Okay added time keys to the scenes because this chapter covers such a wide span of time rather then just a season or a summer. Interludes cover the time in between them. 
> 
> 15) Edited! Let me know if there are any issues that are still sticking out to you.


	6. Prague (0 Miles, 0 Kilometers)

**x.**  

Claude was a bit surprised when he stepped out of his taxi to find Sean waiting outside of the restaurant Team Canada was meeting at for breakfast.

"Hey, Coots," he greeted as he made his way over to him after paying the cab driver. "You didn't go in?"

"Schenner told me to wait for you," Sean said. "He thought you'd want a heads up, but he also thought you might punch him for sticking his nose in again."

"What do I need a heads up about?" Claude asked as he pulled the door open, gesturing for Sean to step in ahead of him.

"Crosby's here already," Sean said.

"Okay? It's not like I didn't know he was part of the team," Claude said. He let Sean lead him through the restaurant and towards the tables team Canada were using.

Sean shrugged. "This is different than seeing him across the ice though, isn't it?"

"Not really," Claude answered.

Sean gave a little hum, like he didn't quite believe Claude but wasn't about to argue with him either, as they reached the back of the restaurant where a bunch of tables had been pushed together.

Despite the amount of people gathered at the table, majority of the team as already there, Claude's eyes found Sidney without any conscious effort.

Sidney was looking away from Sean and Claude, facing MacKinnon as the kid said something to him. Claude took a moment to look at him, eyes tracing along a familiar jawline and noting the way Sidney's hair was short enough to avoid curling at the nape of his neck like it usually did.

It struck him suddenly that he hadn't seen Sidney doing something as casual as eating out with friends in years.

He had a vague sort of hope that he could make it to his seat without being spotted, but Sidney turned, as if he'd felt Claude's eyes on him, before he could take another step.

Their eyes met across the table. Sidney's held a storm of emotions, flickering through sadness and hope and happiness and longing in quick succession, that left Claude feeling confused and off balance.

Sidney's lips parted and Claude knew, instinctively, that it was his name on his lips.

Before Sidney could follow through, Brayden called out, "G! Coots! Over here!"

Claude forced himself to look away from Sidney and looked down the table to where Brayden was sitting.

He was near the end of the table, two empty seats at the very end of it were open for Sean and Claude, with Smith, Jones, and Burns across from him. Brayden had situated himself on the same side as Sidney, with the four Avalanche players between them so that there would be six guys blocking Claude's view of Sidney if he sat on the end.

He'd honestly never been so happy about Brayden interference.

Instead of walking behind Sidney, Claude led Sean down the other side of the table. He gave a few quick hellos to people as he passed.

"Not any different, huh?" Sean asked, voice straddling the line between smug and matter-of-fact.

"It's not," Claude said, honest.

Seeing Sidney now wasn't any different than seeing him on the ice in Pittsburgh or Philadelphia.

No matter where they saw each other, Claude ended the encounter feeling empty and aching.

 

 

 

**i.**

Considering they were on the same team, Claude managed to do a truly spectacular job at avoiding any kind of significant encounter with Sidney during their first week in Prague.

They spent time together on the ice as McLellan tested out different lines, but other than that Claude kept out of Sidney's way.

Sidney spent most of his time with the Avalanche players and his A's while Claude spent his time with the other Flyers and the Stars. Spezza overlapped their circles, but he bounced between the groups more than he tried to force them together.

It wasn't like either one of them didn't talk to their other teammates, just that they didn't really talk to those other teammates at the same time.

Claude supposed the good thing about the entire league thinking they had some kind of epic rivalry between them, rather than a bad break up, was that no one wanted to push them together. Claude knew how to be a professional so he would have dealt with it if they did, but it was just easier to not deal with the situation.

The thing was that while Claude was trying to ignore Sidney, it was really hard to do when Sidney always seemed to be trying to catch Claude's attention.

He didn't think it was particularly noticeable to others, but Claude had spent years with Sidney trying to catch his attention for one reason or another.

He would walk into the locker room or a team gathering and Sidney would be angled towards the door, no matter what he was doing, just waiting for Claude to enter. Sometimes he would try to quickly excuse himself from a conversation and sometimes he would take a few steps towards Claude before Claude could drag someone into conversation with him.

Claude didn't know what Sidney wanted to talk about, but whatever it was he didn't seem to want to do it with other people around.

That had Claude feeling a strange combination of nausea and relief.

On one hand, Claude figured it was something to do with their relationship since Sidney didn't want to talk about it around the others. He really didn't want to hear about it at all if what Sidney wanted to talk about was his love life. He didn't need Sidney acting like they were amicable exes and trying to tell Claude about his current relationship while Claude had to admit he hadn't been in one since they'd broken up and pretend he wasn't still in love with Sidney. Just the idea was nauseating and heartbreaking.

On the other hand, he was incredibly relieved that there was such a simple way to keep the conversation from happening. Claude was rooming with Seguin, who was possibly the most extroverted person he'd ever met, so there were always people around when he was near. When Tyler was with some of the other younger guys or off talking on his phone, it was easy to stick to Brayden or Sean's side. No one thought twice about the Flyers sticking together and they were both willing to help Claude avoid any conversations with Sidney that weren't about hockey.

Claude had never been particularly good at guarding against Sidney, though, and it didn't take very long for his luck to run out.

 

 

 

**xx.**

Sidney was sitting at a table in the bar, laughing as Nathan tried to pump himself up to go hit on a girl while Duchene tried to convince him she was way out of his league and he would just be embarrassing Canada if he got himself shot down after their first win, when he caught a glimpse of Claude out of the corner of his eye.

He turned a bit in his seat so he could get a better look.

The bar was crowded, but Sidney had spent so much of his life looking at Claude that it was easy to find him in the crush of people.

He was weaving his way through the bar, heading in the direction of the front entrance. A glance at the table Claude was leaving showed that Seguin, Schenn, and Couturier were all still drinking. Spezza was sitting with them, nursing a bottled beer and looking so amused that he had to be taking it easy to watch over them.

"Hey," Sidney said, patting Barrie on the upper arm. "I'm going to head out. Don't let these two get too stupid, okay?"

"You sure?" Barrie asked. "It's pretty early."

Sidney hesitated for a second. He thought about how absolutely terrified he was that Claude wouldn't care what he had to say, that he'd ask for Claude back and lose him all over again, but well...

Sidney would rather know for certain that he'd ruined things than not try when there was a possibility of fixing things.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sidney said. "This was only the first game. I'll save the heavy celebrating for later on."

Sidney said a quick goodbye before pushing himself out of the booth and making his way through the crowd. He bumped into more people than he normally would have, elbowing them out of the way when necessary, because he wasn't about to lose his first chance to speak to Claude alone since he'd gotten to Prague.

He pushed the door open with his shoulder and stepped out into the cool night air.

The streets were mostly empty, it was too late for very many people to be arriving at the bars but too early for very many people to be leaving, and it took Sidney only a moment to spot Claude.

The Flyers captain was sitting on the curb with his phone out and his head tilted down as he looked at the screen.

"Hey," Sidney said, the word coming out breathy.

Claude startled a bit and Sidney heard him mutter a soft French swear under his breathe.

Claude seemed to take a deep breath before looking away from his phone and meeting Sidney's gaze.

Sidney didn't know how to start this conversation, so he just asked, "Can we talk?"

There was a flash of despair in Claude's eyes before he gave a small sigh. Sidney felt his heart plummet, because that felt like a pretty clear indication that Claude didn't want anything to do with him.

"Yeah," Claude said. "My cab's gonna be here in a few minutes though."

"That's fine. I'll make it quick," Sidney said, because even if Claude was going to reject him he wanted to get the words out.

He took the few steps separating them and lowered himself onto the curb next to Claude. He sat close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating off Claude's body even though they weren't quite touching.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this close to Claude off the ice and he found it a little dizzying.

"I fucked up," Sidney said, staring at the sidewalk across the street instead of looking at Claude. He didn't want to dance around the issue and risk Claude having a chance to run away from him before he finished. He still had his phone in his hand after all. As far as Sidney knew he could've texted one of the guys inside for a rescue. "Sometimes I forget that there are things, great things, in my life other than hockey, because hockey has been there for so long. I frustrated and terrified I was going to lose that, that I took it out on you. I guess... I guess I was so used to you being there that I didn't even consider the idea that I could lose you instead. I was so angry at you after that because you left me even though you were supposed to be there forever. You weren’t supposed to be something I could lose. I'm not trying to excuse what I did, because I treated you like shit and I deserved exactly what I got, but I'm so sorry, Claude. I'm so fucking sorry." Sidney took a deep breath, feeling shaky and moments away from crying. He forced himself to look at Claude, found him looking back with shock filled eyes. "I'd understand if you never wanted to speak to me again, but I miss you so much. I'm still in love with you and I want to be with you. If there's any chance that I can prove to you that I can do better than I want to try.”

There was a tense quiet moment before Claude's lips parted and "Putain de merde" slipped out.

Sidney fought the urge to fidget when Claude didn't immediately follow it up.

It felt like years had passed before Claude spoke again.

"This is not what I thought you wanted to talk about," Claude said. Sidney didn't press for more, thinking it was best to let Claude direct the conversation right now, but Claude continued anyway, "I thought you were going to tell me you were seeing someone else and do that stupid thing where someone's ex thanks them for teaching them something that helped them keep their new relationship going and I was going to have to sit here and pretend that I’m not still in love with you."

"I haven't been with anyone else," Sidney said, feeling like it wasn't a good idea to push the 'still in love with you' thing. "Flower and Vero tried setting me up a few times after I came out, but I just wanted you."

Claude sucked in a deep breath. He looked away from Sidney, putting his hands in front of his mouth. He blew the breath out into them. "Okay. Alright. Okay."

There was another pause before Claude said, staring at the street in front of them instead of at Sidney, "I can't deal with being treated that way again, Sid. Being treated like shit by someone who you love as much as I love you is horrible. I won't do it a second time. I can’t.”

"I won't," Sidney swore, pushing all of his conviction into the words. "I took advantage of you being there, but now I know what it's like when you aren't and I never want it to be that way again. I can't promise we won't fight, because sometimes you honestly infuriate me, but I promise I'm never going to let it get that bad again."

He waited for Claude to gather his thoughts.

After a while, Claude tongue darted out to wet his lips. He turned and met Sidney's eyes again. "I'm not promising to this will work, but I'm willing to give it a chance."

"A chance is all I want," Sidney said.

He shifted a bit so their shoulders were bumping and their knees touching. It felt like victory when Claude leaned into him instead of moving away.

Sidney couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy.

 

 

 

**ii.**

Team Canada had been given the second day off, so Sidney took the opportunity to invite Claude out to lunch. He wasn't entirely certain he would agree to go out, he had agreed to try again but he'd also seemed kind of overwhelmed and might've wanted time to think, so it was a pleasant surprise when he did.

They went to a tiny restaurant a little way away from the hotel that Voracek had recommended to Claude. It was a little under the radar, which served well for eating without bumping into fans, but the food was good and the company even better.

They sat together at a tiny table with their knees pressed together and ordered a meat platter that came slathered in some kind of gravy. It would have made the Pens' nutritionist cry, but Claude wanted to try the duck that was on it and they were going into the off-season after the tournament so Sidney as willing to relax a bit. They ordered different beers so that they could each try them and Sidney was pretty sure Claude drank more of his then he did.

Sidney had memories of the good times with Claude, but they were old and faded. Having lunch with Claude, talking to him easily and making him laugh, was like biting into a sweet you loved but had forgotten the taste of.

It was so much better than Sidney remembered it being.

After they ate, the two of them went out for a walk. They got stopped by a few hockey fans, a few Canadians that were in Prague for the tournament and a few Czechs that liked the Penguins or the Flyers, but for the most part it was just the two of them. They weren't holding hands, but every once in a while their fingers would catch.

At one point Sidney was complaining about his last fishing trip with his father when Claude tangled their finger together, squeezing tightly before letting go. It lasted only a moment, but it caught Sidney's attention. When he looked over, Claude had a look on his face that was so fond that Sidney's words died in his throat.

He hated himself for hurting Claude the way he had and for making Claude so miserable. He didn't ever want to be the reason Claude felt like that again.

It was late when they finally went back to the hotel.

They went up to their floor together and Claude didn't turn away when Sidney ducked in to kiss his cheek.

It was soft and tentative in a way that their relationship had never been, even when they had first gotten together they had basically thrown themselves head first into it, but it was a start.

They played Germany the next day and the Czech Republic the day after, so they didn't get to spend much time alone together.

They weren't playing on the same line, but they were playing the power player together. Playing with Claude instead of against him was something completely foreign to Sidney, but it felt amazing.

He liked being able to see Claude pull on colors that belonged to both of them in the locker room and hearing him chirp at the team as he laced his skates. He liked being able to lean back and yell down at Claude when they were both on the bench. He liked being able to bump fists with Claude after a goal and see him smiling as Sidney passed the bench.

And the feeling when the puck came off Claude's stick and straight to him during the game against the Czech Republic?

Well, Sidney had made milestone goals that didn't feel as good as that.

 

 

 

**xxx.**

"I swear to god, Nate, if you don't-" Sidney was saying as he opened his hotel room door, his voice low and irritated.

"Not MacKinnon," Claude said when Sidney trailed off. He gestured his thumb over his shoulder as he suggested, "I can go get him though if you'd prefer."

"No. I'd rather see you," Sidney said with a shake of his head. Claude's lips tipped up in a small smile because two weeks ago that wouldn't have been so obvious. "I just wasn't expecting you."

They'd fallen into a rhythm in the tournament. They spent their days off together, but they didn't see a whole lot of each other on game days. They sat together if there was a team breakfast or lunch, but mostly they stayed out of each other’s way as the went through their routines.

"Yeah..." Claude said, trailing off a bit. He paused for a minute before saying, "So, do you mind if I stick around here until tonight? Seguin's pregame routine involves a phone call with Jamie Benn where Benn basically just praises him for thirty minutes which wouldn't bother me if Seguin didn't have a ridiculously big praise kink. But he does and I'm kinda sick of the awkward fifteen minutes afterwards were I have to pretend like I didn't totally just listen to him have the lamest phone sex ever."

Claude watched as Sidney fumbled for words. "Umm..."

"I know how weird you are about changing your routine," Claude added, "so it's okay if you want me to fuck off or something. I just thought that since you had a single, I could come over here and avoid crowding the others."

"No," Sidney said, his hand darting out to grab Claude's wrist even though Claude hadn't been making any move to leave. He flushed pink immediately after, but didn't let go of Claude. He cleared his throat before saying, "No, it's fine. We used to have a routine of our own, you know? I don't mind going back to that. I was just surprised."

"Yeah?"

"Well yeah," Sidney said. "There was kinda a lot of personal information about Tyler Seguin that I didn't really want to know in that sentence. It caught me off guard a bit.”

"You sure?" Claude asked, teasing. "I mean, Seguin's a pretty good looking guy."

Sidney smiled a bit. His fingers squeezed around Claude's arm, "I prefer gingers."

"That wasn't even remotely smooth," Claude said. Despite his words, he felt his face heat lightly.

"It's still true," Sidney said. He used his grip on Claude's arm to tug at him, not enough to hurt or actually move Claude but enough to portray what he wanted. "Come inside? I'll make you a smoothie and we can take a nap together."

"Please don't make mine green," Claude said. Sidney gave another light tug and this time Claude followed the motion, letting Sidney pull him into the room. "I hate green smoothies. They're always made with like...spinach and stuff."

"I promise not to make you a spinach smoothie," Sidney said.

He pushed the door shut behind Claude before leaning forward to brush their lips together, feather light. It wasn't the first time since they'd gotten back together, but it sent butterflies kicking up in Claude's stomach and a jolt of energy running up his spine.

When Sidney pulled away, Claude said, "Okay. Non-spinach smoothies and naps sound awesome."

 

 

 

**iii.**

The timing of the games at Worlds were so irregular that it was hard to settle into a firm routine, but Claude managed to find some semblance of one in the last few days of preliminaries.

On game days he had breakfast with Brayden and Sean, other teammates occasionally tagging along, and the three of them discussed their plans for the summer and all the things they wanted to eat during the off season. Sometimes a teammate would bring Sidney up at breakfast, usually just remembering something Sidney had said about fishing or something, and Claude would spend the next ten minutes avoiding Brayden's eyes.

Brayden was a good friend and Claude knew he just didn't want to see Claude hurt again, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Once or twice Voracek was free and came out with them. On those mornings, he dragged the three Canadian players out to a local place instead of letting them eat at a chain restaurant. They spent a while checking up on each other and exchanging friendly chirps.

No matter who was with him, breakfast tended to be a little later in the morning and take up a good portion of it.

If the game wasn't until later that night, Claude would make his way to Sidney's room afterwards.

Sidney would make them smoothies in the shitty blender he'd bought when he got to Prague, trying to get one through an airport was just too much hassle but he wasn't completely messing up his game routine, while Claude sat on his bed and made comments about whatever was being put into them. They'd sit against Sidney's headboard with something queued up on his laptop, usually they flipped between highlight reels for whatever team they were playing and whatever random YouTube videos captured Claude's attention, while they drank them. When their smoothies were finished, they'd squeeze themselves into the bed together.

Usually Sidney fell asleep first and Claude would spend a few moments watching him, trying to process everything that was happening.

He wanted this, wanted Sid, but their worlds had revolved around hockey and each other before the break up and Claude could feel them slipping right back into that mindset.

And that? That was terrifying because as much as Claude wanted to believe Sidney wouldn't hurt him again he couldn't quite get rid of the idea that he could.

 

 

 

**xxxx.**

"Who are you texting?" Sidney had his head turned down, looking over the text in question, when he felt Taylor press against his arm so she could try and look at the screen.

His family had flown in to watch the playoff round, but he was going to be busy for majority of that so they were having lunch the day before Canada played Belarus.

"Claude," Sidney answered without much thought. He used the hand that wasn't holding his phone to place his palm on her forehead and push her away. "Stop trying to look. It's none of your business."

It wasn't until after he'd replied that he realized Taylor wasn't pushing back against him and his mother wasn't chiding them for acting immature at the table.

He looked up to find all three of his family members were staring at him.

"What?" he asked, eyes flickering between them. "Did I miss something?"

His parents exchanged glances as if they were trying to figure out who should say something, but Taylor beat them both to the punch.

"You're talking to Claude again?" Taylor asked, sounding surprised but excited.

Sidney realized all once that even though he'd spoken to them since the tournament had started, Claude had never really come up. Now that he was thinking about it, it was a little strange they hadn't at least mentioned him since they were both on team Canada but he figured they'd probably just assumed he was having a hard time seeing Claude again and didn't want to make him feel worse.

Caught off guard and a little embarrassed about being confronted about this, Sidney felt his face flush as he dropped his hand from her face.

"You are!" Taylor said. "Sid, that's great! Are the two of you getting back together?"

"Taylor," his mother said, voice a little sharp. "You know better than to say things that will hurt your brother."

"I'm not hurt," Sidney said. His mother gave him a look that practically screamed that she thought he was lying. "I'm not, Mom. She's not saying anything that isn't true."

He saw his father’s eyebrows raise. "You and Claude are getting back together?"

"No." Sidney felt a little jolt of happiness when disappointment flashed across the face of every member of his family. He liked knowing that they liked Claude so much, liked knowing that even now they considered him family. "But only because we've already gotten back together."

"Really?" Taylor said, sounding ridiculously excited considering he was the one dating Claude not her. "You aren't messing with us?"

"Why would I joke about this?" he said, looking down at her with every bit of his befuddlement obvious on his face. "And why are you so surprised? Didn't you tell me last summer that you talk to Claude all the time?"

"Not all the time," Taylor said. "And I don't bother him during tournaments just like I don't bother you during tournaments."

Before he could come up with a reply, his mother reached across the table to grab the hand he had set on it. He looked up and met her eyes as she said, "I'm so happy for you, sweetheart."

"You are?"

"Of course we are," his dad said. "Everyone at this table knows how gone you are on that boy, Sidney. You've gotten good at hiding it, but you were miserable without Claude. I don't know how you got him to forgive you, I love you kid but you did something terrible to him, but I'm glad it worked."

Sidney frowned a little bit before admitting, "He hasn't forgiven me." Sidney had noticed the way Claude hesitated sometimes when they were together and he did his best to pull back at those moments. He made sure to suggest alternatives or give Claude's way out if he seemed uncomfortable. "But he's willing to give me a chance and I'm going to do everything possible to make sure he doesn't regret it."

 

 

 

**iiii.**

The thing about Claude's parents was that they had been there for the entirety of Claude and Sidney's relationship.

They'd been there for those few months were they were nothing but friends and they'd been there for the first few months of their relationship. They'd been there for the years when the two of them were becoming men together and they'd been there for the months when they'd fallen apart. They'd been there for the break up and they were here now that they were back together.

Sidney's parents had been there for a lot of their relationship, had even been there for more of their adult relationship since they'd lived together in Nova Scotia, but Sidney had been billeting at the beginning of it and they hadn't been there for it.

While Sidney loved his parents and there were a lot of things that he listened to them about, but when it came to his relationship with Claude it was the opinion of Claude's parents that mattered to him.

So when Claude called him after lunch, while Sidney was letting his mother and Taylor run around with his debit card, and asked if Sidney wanted to get both of their families together for dinner, Sidney felt a flare of panic even as he agreed.

The last time Sidney had seen Claude's family had been when his mother came to pick Claude's things up from the house while Claude was recovering from his wrist surgery. A wrist surgery which Sidney may or may not have been partially responsible for.

It was a situation that Sidney had absolutely no idea how to handle.

Claude beat them to the restaurant, the kind of high class place that neither of them really preferred but that they liked to treat their mothers with, and Sidney followed the waitress to their table with nervousness rolling off him in waves and tension in his shoulders.

The second he saw Claude though, sitting at the private table they'd reserved wearing a nice button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a wide smile on his lips as he spoke to his sister, he felt all of that fall away.

Sidney cared a lot about what Claude's parents thought about their relationship, but ultimately what mattered most was that he was head over heels in love with Claude and wanted to be with him for the rest of their lives. Sidney would be with Claude as long as Claude wanted him to be.

He found it easier to walk across the room after that.

He brushed his fingers against Claude's shoulders when he reached the table and greeted everyone with a smile.

As Sidney was going to sit down, taking the seat to Claude's left, he caught Claude's mother's eyes.

She looked at him for a moment, searching for something, before her lips spread in a wide genuine smile that reminded Sidney so fiercely of Claude that his own smile went a little softer at the edges. She greeted him with a voice full of warmth, calling him Sid the way she always had and telling him how happy she was to see him again, before turning her attention to reacquainting with his parents and gushing over how much Taylor had grown.

Sidney wouldn't have left Claude again even if his mother hadn't approved, but it still felt nice to know she did.

 

 

 

**xxxxx.**

Claude woke up to the feeling of fingertips moving across his cheek, so light that he almost wondered if it was actually there or if he was still asleep.

"Being a member of the triple gold club doesn't mean you get to wake me up," he murmured. The words were muffled against his pillow, just loud enough for them to be heard.

He heard a quiet laugh from beside him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You do it far too frequently to not be doing it on purpose," Claude said, letting his eyes open.

Sidney was popped up on one elbow with an affectionate smile on his face and eyes that twinkled with amusement. The sheets had slipped down to his waist, Claude wasn't sure of it was because he'd elevated himself or because they'd been pushed down in their sleep, which left his bare torso exposed. Over his shoulder, Claude could see their gold medals on the night stand along with the digital clock telling him it was a little after eight.

Claude wanted to complain about the time, because why the fuck was he up before ten during the off season, but before he could Sidney said, "I missed this."

"Missed what?"

"Waking up next to you," Sidney said, his voice barely more than a whisper. Claude felt his throat run dry as Sidney's fingers trailed from his cheek to his jaw, tracing along it. "Waking up with you after a nap isn't the same as waking up with you after spending the night together."

Claude hummed a quiet agreement as he looked at Sidney. They'd mostly avoiding the topic of their break up, but Sidney was acknowledging it now so there was clearly something he wanted to say.

Sidney's fingers moved to Claude's lips.

Claude pressed a quick kiss to them, watching the way Sidney's lips turned up a bit.

He was apparently inspired by the moment, because Sidney broke the silence, "Come home, Claude."

Claude sucked in a deep breath because this conversation suddenly made a lot more sense.

He gave a small shake of his head. Sidney pulled his finger away from Claude's lips, withdrawing his hand back into his space. Claude missed the touch. "I'm not ready to move back in, Sid."

"So don't move back in," Sidney countered. "Just stay for the summer. Just stay for few weeks if you aren't comfortable with that. I just - Claude, the tournaments over. I only just got you back and I need a little more time to remind myself that it's real."

"You've had weeks to get used to it," Claude said.

Sidney's voice was twinged with sadness and double meaning when he answered, "You can't erase a few years in a few weeks."

"I don't want to erase the last few years," Claude said. He hesitated for a second before reaching out to wrap his fingers around the wrist of the hand Sidney had on his face earlier. "A lot of stuff happened, some of it was really good and some of it was really bad, but I think we needed to go through it to become the people we are and get to the point we're at." It felt a bit like letting go when he raised Sidney's hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the heel of his palm. "I like where we are now and who we are now."

Sidney was quiet for a minute before saying, "So do I."

He maneuvered his hand out of Claude's face so he could press their lips together. The kiss was tender, slow and careful and loving.

When they separated they let their foreheads tip together and took a moment to just breath.

They'd still need to talk about the separation, because there was still so much that needed to be said, but this was a start.

"I'm not moving back in," Claude repeated after a moment. "But I wouldn't mind spending some of my summer in Halifax either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello, everyone! This chapter was also written on mobile, but my computer is scheduled to be back on the 25th so the next one should be...not mobile?
> 
> 2) Originally this bullet point was about the possibility of me adding more chapters, now it's about the fact that I'm definitely adding more chapters. Bumping from 7 to 9 or 10. Putting 9 in, will bump count if necessary
> 
> 3) I watched every 2015 IIHF game in order and made sure I knew the usual lines as well as wrote with the rosters up so I wouldn't forget anyone. However, I didn't know the roommate situation other then Giroux/Seguin or the actual training schedule. 
> 
> 4) Claude and Sidney make up very quickly in this chapter considering how bad things were between them, but I think it ultimately comes down to them having had time apart and Claude /wanting/ to forgive Sidney. I think it balances out by me showing that that actually terrifies Claude though?
> 
> 5) Writing Sidney's speech was so hard because I needed to get his feelings across without him sounding as though he thought Claude should just excuse what he did. 
> 
> 6) I've never been to the Czech Republic, but google showed a lot of meat dishes and beers which is kinda awesome. 
> 
> 7) This chapter is a lot closer to the normal length of chapters for this Tory then the last chapter of this story but it also spans a lot shorter of a time period and I'm worried there's just /too much/. Let me know what you think. 
> 
>  
> 
> 8) mentioned Jamie Benn/Tyler Sequin because I'm a Stars girl and I'm trash for my favorite lineys + besties being a bit more.
> 
> 9) Edited! However, please continue to let me know if you see more issues!


	7. Halifax (0 Miles, 0 Kilometers)

**x.**

"We were victims of the night. The chemical, physical, kryptonite. Helpless to the bass and the fading light," Claude sung. He bopped his head along with the music and tapped his hand against his thigh.

It was early Wednesday afternoon. They'd flown into Halifax that morning and were on the way to the house. It wasn't a long drive, but airport traffic was ridiculous and they'd stopped at Tim Horton's for breakfast.

Sidney kept his eyes focused on the road as he drove, but his mouth was spread in a wide, giddy grin.

Claude looked ridiculous and it was a really good thing that he played hockey well, because he definitely wasn't going to be making any money off his singing voice. But his horrible singing was enthusiastic and happy and infectious.

It was also more than a little endearing.

He let out a small laugh, quiet and bubbling with happiness.

Even with the radio blasting, Claude heard him.

"Are you laughing at me?" Claude demanded. Despite the firmness behind his words, he didn't sound angry. He sounded happy and amused.

"Of course not," Sidney said. "I would never laugh at you, Justin Bieber."

"Okay see your trying to insult me here, but you also just demonstrated enough knowledge of Justin Bieber to know he's also from Ontario."

Sidney let out another laugh. He shook his head, "I didn't know that. I knew he was Canadian. I didn't know exactly where he was from."

"Liar," Claude accused.

"Why would I lie about that?"

"Because you don't want to admit you know that Justin Bieber is from Ontario."

"I genuinely just got lucky with that," Sidney said. He cast a sideways glance at Claude to see that he'd shifted so his elbow was resting on the ledge under the window and he was turned to face Sidney. His smile stretching just a bit wider as he said, "You, on the other hand, apparently knew that Justin Bieber was from Ontario off the top of your head."

"I'm from Ontario," Claude said.

"Is that relevant?" Sidney asked. "Is there some kind of secret club for celebrities from Ontario? Have you and the Staal's been hanging out with Justin Bieber and Drake?"

"Oh, absolutely," Claude swore. "Once a summer we meet up in Ottawa and talk about how Ontario is the best province."

Sidney struggled to keep his laughter contained as he said, "Sounds fun."

"Usually it is," Claude said, nodding a bit. "Except you know, Patrick Sharp is from Thunder Bay. I'm not really up for listening to him gloat about winning the cup this year."

"Well that's a simple fix," Sidney said. He took one hand off the steering wheel, reaching over to squeeze Claude's thigh. "You can just skip your super-secret meeting this year and stay with me instead."

They hadn't really talked about how long Claude was going to stay in Halifax with Sidney. He knew Claude wasn't ready to move back in so he probably wasn't going to be staying all summer, but he hoped Claude would at least stay for most of it.

The conversation had taken a serious turn, but Sidney was pleased to note the mood in the car was still light and amused.

Claude turned to face forward again, but there was a smile on his face as he said, "We'll see."

Sidney hummed, pleased that he hadn't gotten flat out shut down, and let it drop.

They'd been talking for long enough that a good portion of the song had elapsed, but Claude picked up as if no time had passed.

He took Sidney's hand off his leg and played with his fingers as he sung, "Deep in her eyes. I think I see the future. I realize this is my last chance."

Feeling bright and happy, Sidney tapped the fingers on his other hand against the steering wheel and joined Claude for the chorus, "She took my arm. I don't know how it happened. We took the floor and she said, 'Oh, don't you dare look back. Just keep your eyes on me.' I said, 'You're holding back.' She said, 'Shut up and dance with me!'"

 

 

 

**i.**

There was a certain awkwardness to their first few days in the house.

Claude tiptoed around the house as though he'd never been there before, as if he didn't know how to consider this place his home anymore.

Sidney knew Claude hadn't been there in three years and that he needed time to adjust, but he couldn't help the displeasure that settled under his skin whenever he saw Claude hesitate to do something.

Instead of pushing Claude into anything, though, Sidney took to doing things that made it clear he wanted Claude to be comfortable and feel at home but still gave Claude room to pull back.

When Claude was eating Chinese food at the island in the kitchen, Sidney started making a grocery list so he could stock the kitchen. As he searched through the cabinets, he tossed in suggestions for Claude's favorite foods and asked him if there was anything he wanted. After a while Claude was stealing the pen to jot down suggestions and telling Sidney to add things in-between bites of sweet and sour chicken.

They did laundry when they first arrived, but afterward Claude hesitated to put anything other than the suits he'd had with him in the closet or the dresser. Instead of making a big deal out of it, Sidney put his clothes away in a way a that that didn't leave gaping spaces in his dresser but there was still enough room for Claude to fit his clothes when he was comfortable. When Sidney got into his dresser to change the morning after, he found Claude's shorts in the drawer with his and Claude's tee shirts mixed in with his.

When he noticed Claude was always passing decisions off to him the way a guest passed decisions off their host, he started making sure he asked for Claude's opinions on choices. When they were lying on the couch watching Netflix and Claude passed the choice off to Sidney, Sidney would find three or four movies he thought sounded interesting then passed it off to Claude. When they decided to watch bad TV so they could have a lazy day, Sidney would flip through channels until something caught both of their attention. After a few nights, Claude was arguing with Sidney over which of his movie choices sounded best and had a list of game shows he refused to watch because he thought Sidney cheated at them.

Their first two weeks in Canada passed in that pattern, Sidney leaving spaces for Claude to step into and Claude taking his time to adjust before allowing himself to fill them.

 

 

 

 **xx.**  

When Claude finally decided to pull himself out of bed it was a little past ten o'clock.

He'd woken up briefly when Sidney had gotten up, but a kiss against his forehead and a whisper that it was only seven o'clock was enough to send him back asleep.

Sidney could go out on an early morning run if he wanted but as far as Claude was concerned, it was the off season and the fact that there was no early morning practice meant he didn’t have to be awake before there were four digits on the alarm clock.

Rolling out of bed, Claude grabbed one of the tee shirts off the floor and pulled it over his head before padding out of bedroom.

Sidney was sitting at the island in kitchen, a half cleared plate with eggs and sausage in front of him while he looked at something on his phone.

Claude crossed the room to him. They were around the same height, but with Sidney sitting down it was easy for Claude to wrap his arms around his waist and rest his chin on Sidney's head.

"Hey," Sidney greeted, his voice soft. Claude's hands were clasped together in the middle of Sidney's waist and once he put his phone down Sidney put his hands on top of Claude's. "Sleep well?"

"Uh huh," Claude murmured. Sidney's hair was damp against Claude's chin, so he must've taken a shower when he got back from his run. "Is there more food?"

"I didn't know when you'd be up so I only made enough for me," Sidney answered. "But I'll make you something if you’re hungry."

Claude hummed. Sausage and eggs didn't sound terrible, but it didn't exactly sound good either.

"Will you make me waffles?" Claude asked. It was take a little more effort on Sidney's part, but when they'd lived together before he'd never minded making Claude something different as long as they had it in the house. "Please?"

Sidney squeezed Claude's hands. His voice was happy and hopeful when he said, "Yeah, 'course."

Claude was a little thrown by his tone until it broke through the sleepy haze in his brain that this was the first time since they arrived that he'd asked Sidney to go out of his way for him.

It was the first time he'd really acted like this was his home instead of like he was a guest here.

"Do you want blueberry waffles?" Sidney asked before Claude could think any further on the issue. "I think I bought blueberries when I went shopping."

"Blueberry's good," Claude agreed. Sidney moved as though to stand up, so Claude tightened his arms around him. "Not right now. I want to stay like this for a bit longer, you can go ahead and finish your food.”

"I can eat while I cook," Sidney said, sounding a little sulky. It was like he was actually upset he couldn't jump up to make waffles.

Claude laughed at him, shaking his head a bit. "No, you can't. Last time saw you try that you dropped half an orange into the spaghetti sauce."

"You were throwing peanuts at me!" Sidney objected.

"Yeah, but a few flying peanuts shouldn't affect your ability to hold an orange."

 

 

 

**ii.**

They fell into a certain rhythm over the summer.

Most mornings, Sidney was in bed with Claude when he woke up. He'd mess around on his phone while he waited for Claude to wake up enough to interact with the world. Usually once Claude was up, he'd roll so his head was in Sidney's lap and Sidney would run his fingers through Claude's hair while they talked aimlessly.

Breakfast afterwards had a tendency to range from healthy diet approved oatmeal to the biggest box of timbits available at the nearest Tim Hortons.

After breakfast they went through their workouts and showered.

By the time they were finished it was early afternoon and, as had been the tendency for the entity of their relationship, there was little routine to their afternoons. Sometimes they hung around the house and spent the day watching TV or playing video games. Sometimes they drove to Sidney's parents place and spent the day out there or picked Taylor up and took her out to do something. Sometimes they took the boat out onto the lake and spent the day under the sun or went out on a hike. Sometimes they bought themselves some time at the local ice rink and spent the afternoon running drills against, and with, each other.

When night fell, Sidney would make dinner while Claude sat with him so they could talk. Sometimes they'd talk about what their friends were up to and Claude's family. Sometimes they'd talk about draft picks and prospects and which teams would be real competitors that year. Sometimes they'd talk about stupid things like the merits of white chocolate chips or milk chocolate chips and the fact that Sidney really wanted a dog even though that meant finding a reliable dog sitter in Pittsburgh.

If they'd been running around all day, after dinner the two of them would curl up on the couch together and find a movie to watch. Other times they had too much energy stored up after a lazy day and they'd dance around the living room or go for a walk in the cool night air.

Some nights they fell into bed warm and content with falling asleep on each other’s arms. Sometimes they went to bed feeling giddy and silly and they spent the night laughing at bad jokes and throwing M&Ms into each other’s mouths until they were too tired to stay up longer. Sometimes they went to bed hungry for each other and spent the night pressed together, hands and lips pressing against every inch of each other’s skin.

Claude was scared by how easily he fell into it. How easy it was to act like this house was still home and how easy to was to let himself love Sidney.

He didn't want to fall back into the idea that he was going to have all of this for the rest of his life, that he was going to spend every summer of his career in this house with Sidney, and have it taken from him again.

 

 

 

** xxx. **

Sidney was in the middle of dumping the vegetables he and Claude had chopped up for their stir-fry into the pan when Claude said, "So, I'm thinking of going to Ontario next week."

"I'm supposed to meet up with MacKinnon for lunch on Monday," Sidney said. "We can leave after if you want? Or I can cancel if you’re in that big a hurry.”

"I meant that I'm heading to Ontario alone."

Sidney froze. A spark of fear ran down his spine and his thoughts instantly shifted from dinner to what he had done to make Claude want to leave again.

"I can tell what you’re thinking and you need to stop," Claude said. He was sitting on the counter off to Sidney's left with the cutting board Sidney had already emptied into the pan on his lap. "I'm not leaving you."

Sidney ran his tongue along his lips. He forced himself back into action, setting the second cutting board on the other side of the stove and reaching for a spatula to poke at the meal. He focused his attention there instead of looking at Claude. "No?"

"No," Claude echoed, his voice firm. "I told you I wasn't ready to move back, but I've spent almost a month here. I need to leave for a while."

It didn't feel like it'd been that long. It felt like Claude had only been home, and it would always be Claude's home even if he wasn't ready to move in again, a few days and Sidney wanted him to stay there. At the same time, he knew he had to give Claude his space if he wanted things to work this time. He had to give Claude space to adjust and respect Claude's boundaries when it came to the pace of their relationship.

"Okay," Sidney said. He took a deep breath. He made himself look up, catching Claude's eyes. "When are you thinking of leaving?"

"Haven't decided yet," Claude said. He reached over to pluck a carrot out of the pan. It was such a familiar thing for him to do that it brought a small smile to Sidney's face. It was like Claude had found a small way to show Sidney that everything was still good between them. "Probably Tuesday. So you can go out with MacKinnon while I pack and drive me out to the airport the next morning."

"Sounds good." Sidney shifted so he could lean against the island behind him. It let him look directly at Claude as they spoke. He spoke against the lump in his throat as he asked, "Are you thinking you’re going to stay there all summer? Or are you gonna be back?"

"Haven't decided yet," Claude repeated. "I wanna see how things go before I make any promises."

"Right." The word tasted sour in Sidney's mouth. "Okay."

Claude watched Sidney for a moment before reaching a hand out. Sidney didn't hesitate to grab onto it. When Claude gave a light tug, Sidney shuffled toward him. Claude spread his knees so Sidney could slip into the space between them.

"We're good," Claude said. He let go of Sidney's hand, sliding his hands up Sidney's forearms and along his shoulders until he could lock his fingers behind Sidney's neck. He repeated, "We're good. I just need us to slow down for a second, okay?"

"Yeah," Sidney said. He leaned forward to press his forehead against Claude's. He let out a small sigh. "Okay."

 

 

 

**iii.**

Sidney did his best not to cling in the week that passed before Claude left, but even when he did Claude didn't seem to mind.

He didn't protest when Sidney wanted to spend a little more time in bed in the mornings, just pillowed his head on Sidney's lap and threw an arm around Sidney's waist and let Sidney draw him into as many sleepy conversations as possible. He didn't protest when Sidney wanted to go out, just let Sidney take him out to their favorite restaurants and tangle their feet under the table or went along with Sidney's requests to go swimming together instead of working out in the gym. He didn't protest when Sidney kept him a little closer, just let himself be pulled into Sidney's side when they were watching a movie or down into his lap when Sidney wanted to show him something.

It wasn't that Sidney honestly thought there was a problem between them so much as it was that he hadn't realized there was until Claude had already left last time. He knew the situations were different, but the nagging fear was still there.

For the most part, Claude seemed to understand that and didn't seem to mind that Sidney was clinging a bit more as their separation approached.

Claude's one protest was when Sidney tried to cancel his lunch with MacKinnon. He pointed out that all he was going to do was pack and Sidney really didn't need to hang around while he did that. Sidney wasn't really to push when Claude was leaving yet next morning, so he let himself be pushed out of the house and went to lunch.

When Sidney got back to the house after dropping Claude off at the airport, it felt even emptier than it had in the years they'd been broken up. Sidney didn't know whether that was because he'd forgotten how bad it felt in the beginning or if it was the difference between him driving Claude out and Claude choosing to leave that made it feel so different.

Either way, he'd stayed in the house just long enough to pack a quick overnight bag than drove out to his parents’ house. His mother didn't look too surprised when he walked in the door. He and Claude had spent the weekend before with them, just in case Claude ended up staying in Ontario and didn't see Taylor before she left for school, so they already knew that Claude was leaving.

He spent the day playing video games with his sister and listening to his mother talk about her yoga class and talking hockey with his father. He slept in his childhood bed that night because it didn't feel as empty as the one in his house did.

When he went back to the house the next day, it still felt empty but he didn't feel quite as alone as he had the night before.

It took him a few days to adjust to being alone in the house again, but soon enough Sidney was back into the swing of it.

He went back to cooking for one person and started catching up on the books he'd wanted to read that summer. He watched the documentaries that had stock piled on his DVR, for every one Claude liked there was two more that would put him asleep, and spent a bit more time brushing up on his Russian so Geno wouldn't make fun of him so much.

He went fishing with his dad and took his mother and sister on a few shopping trips. He called his friends, listened to Tanger panic about his impending wedding and Flower panic about the end of Vero's second pregnancy while she laughed in the background. He skyped with the Lemieux's and went out to lunch with MacKinnon a few more times.

It was all stuff he did when Claude was around, just with a lot less regularity.

When they were together, Sidney's summer revolved around spending time with Claude because summer was the only guaranteed time he had with Claude. They saw each other a fair amount during the season, but it was all carefully planned and could fall through if any little thing messed up.

So being in a relationship with Claude, but not spending his summer with him was something foreign to Sidney.

He wasn't really sure he liked it either.

 

 

 

**xxxx.**

Claude stood on the dock and watched as Sidney and Taylor splashed around in the lake. Taylor had climbed up Sidney's back and was attempting to pull him backwards into the water. It'd take her down too, but Claude supposed that was an okay price to pay for sinking her brother.

"Hey, wonder twins," he called out. "Are you gonna keep messing around out there or are you gonna help me carry my bags inside?"

Both Crosby siblings turned to look at him.

"Claude!" Taylor exclaimed. Her smile was bright and happy, but it seemed dim in comparison to Sidney's.

Sidney was absolutely beaming, his teeth were showing and his dimples were out in full force. The sun was striking the water droplets on his face in a way that made it look like he was glowing with happiness just at the sight of Claude.

Seeing Sidney look so absolutely delighted just by the sight of him had Claude feeling a bit steadier in his decision to come back.

They'd been calling and skyping each other on an almost daily basis, but Claude had missed Sidney. He'd spent almost a month in Ontario with his family and, as much as he loved them, he'd wanted to be here for at least three of those weeks.

"I didn't know you were coming back today," Sidney said. The words managed to sound almost impossibly fond. Claude saw Taylor roll her eyes as she rested her chin on the tip of Sidney's head.

"I wanted to surprise you," Claude said.

"I am definitely surprised," Sidney said.

He reached up with one of his hands, wiping water away from his eyes and then pushing some of his hair off his forehead.

Looking at Sidney when his eyes were sparkling with happiness and his hair was sticking up at all angles, Claude felt fondness rush through him. Claude was head over heels for him even when Sidney looked ridiculous.

"So?" Claude said, quirking an eyebrow. "Are you two going to get out of the water and help me take my stuff in?"

"Noooo," Taylor said with a shake of her head. The way she dragged out the o made her sound more like the child she'd been when they'd first met than the young adult she was now. It made Claude smile just a little wider. "You should put your trunks on and join us instead."

Claude considered it for a moment. His plan had mostly just been to drag Sidney into bed and kiss him until he forgot how much he'd missed him, but that wasn't going to be happening when Taylor was here anyway.

"You know what?" he said, already wondering which bag his trunks were in. "I think I will."

Taylor let out a loud whoop, throwing her hands into the air. "You're the best, Claude! We love you!"

"Love you guys too," Claude said, laughing as he turned to walk into the house so he could search through the bags he'd left in the front entry.

His amusement didn't make either of their statements less true.

 

 

 

**iiii.**

The Letang's wedding had been on Sidney's calendar all summer, so Claude was only back in Nova Scotia for a week before Sidney left him alone in the house.

Sidney was flying to Montreal Friday morning and flying back in Sunday afternoon, so he wasn't going to be gone long but being alone in the house would be a new experience for Claude. It wasn't like he'd never been there alone, they both went out occasionally without the other, but he couldn't remember ever staying there alone overnight. They traveled so much during the season that during the summer the mostly just wanted to lie around their home together.

When he was sitting on the couch Friday night, dressed in sweatpants and Sidney's sweatshirt as he watched bad television and ate Maltesers, he occurred to Claude just how much they'd grown up.

They were the captains of their teams and veterans in the NHL. They were creeping up on thirty and their friends were settling down and starting families. They'd known and been in love with each other for over a decade.

Claude had always known how long it'd been, but it had been more of an abstract idea. It was something he knew but had never really thought about.

Now that he was thinking about it, he realized just how crazy it was.

They'd grown and matured and changed in that time - they'd done a lot of that in just the few years they'd been apart - and they were still head over heels for each other.

Claude was scared of going back to the way things had been before they'd broken up because he didn't want to ruin them again, but the fact of the matter was that they were never going to go back to the way things had been. Things could be similar, but they would never be the same because they weren't the same people.

They'd found a new way to be together and yet they still managed to fit into each other’s lives in a way that felt easy and natural and right.

It'd been ten years, four cities, and a break up since he walked into that ice rink and saw Sidney practicing shots and Claude still didn't want to be with anyone else.

It was baffling.

 

 

 

**xxxxx.**

"I think I'm going to cut my hair," Claude said.

Sidney was sitting on the floor in front of him, his back against the couch and his shoulder blades against Claude's knees, so he couldn't see him but he could feel Claude's knuckles brushing against the nape of his neck as he toyed with the strands of hair there.

He hummed, concentrated more on the level of Peggle he was trying to clear than the conversation, "Really?"

"Yeah," Claude confirmed. "I think I'm going to call the barbershop tomorrow morning and see when Joe can fit me in."

"He'll be happy to see you," Sidney said as he lined up his shot and pressed a on his controller.

Sidney had been using the same barbershop since he was a kid, at least when he was in Canada, and Claude had been going there as well since he started spending regular amounts of time in Nova Scotia which had been way back when Sidney was drafted.

Neither of them had gotten a haircut since getting back together, but Sidney had spent the last few summers listening to Joe tell him how stupid he was for letting Claude get away so he was certain there would be a positive reaction when Claude went in.

Claude let out a small laugh, "He's going to be ecstatic when I tell him I want him to take most of it off. Do you know how many times he begged me to get a proper cut?"

Sidney had been watching his ball trickle down through the map, but Claude's words had him turning to face him.

"Wait, a proper cut?" Sidney echoed, feeling a bit startled. Claude had had a ridiculous mop of ginger hair for as long as Sidney knew him. It was hard to imagine him without it. "Like what?"

"I dunno," Claude said. Sidney turning had thrown Claude's hand off him and now Claude was running his hand through his own hair. "I'm gonna see what Joe thinks will work, but I'm pretty sure I want most of it gone."

"Why?" Sidney asked.

"Just feels like it's time," Claude said with a shrug of his shoulder. "I'm not a kid anymore and I don't really want to be Jagr."

Sidney stared at Claude for a moment, trying to process what he'd said.

"Alright," he said at last. He didn't exactly get it, but it wasn't any of his business if Claude wanted to change his appearance. "I guess just let me know what day you’re going in. If he can get you in early, I'll come with you and we can go for lunch after."

"Sounds good," Claude agreed. He glanced up at the TV screen. "Now give me the controller. You used your last ball. It's my turn."

 

 

 

**iiiii.**

Sidney's birthday always ended up being more of a family reunion than a birthday party considering he wasn't around for holidays and that year wasn't any different than usual.

He and Claude showed up to his parents’ house to find almost all of Sidney's extended family had descended on the house. Sidney wasn't sure if his parents had already told everyone about Claude or if it was just that everyone had assumed Claude would be back at some point, but no one seemed surprised to see Claude there with him. They greeted Claude the way they always had, aunts kissing both of them on the cheeks and cousins patting him on the back, as if he hadn't been absent from the gathering for the past few years.

They spent the first few minutes of the party on greeted and introductions, there'd been new additions to the family since Claude's last party, before they were allowed to slip into the crowd and properly join the party.

It reminded Sidney of the party they'd had on his cup day back in 2009, including the part were Claude said only a brief hello to Sidney's grandmother before letting himself get pulled away by someone else.

Back then, Sidney had found the whole thing hilarious. He'd been young and, as certain as he'd been that Claude was it for him, he hadn't really been considering marriage anytime soon.

Now, though, he was surrounded by married cousins and the babies they'd started having and he couldn't help thinking about it.

It'd crossed his mind at Tanger and Catherine's wedding as well, the idea of finalizing the future he envisioned with Claude.

He knew that with everything that had happened between then, there wasn't likely to be wedding bells soon but he liked the idea that one day they'd get there.

Considering how good things were between them, and some days Sidney honestly thought things were better now than they'd ever been, he didn't think it was all that farfetched that they'd reach that point in the future.

 

 

 

**xxxxxx.**

Claude was lounging in a chair on the boat deck with his eyes closed and his sunglasses pushed up in his hair. His legs were crossed at his ankles and he had one arm slung over his bare stomach while the other was tucked behind his head.

"Are you going to lay there all day?" Claude felt the chair shift as the words were spoken. Claude gave a soft hum in response as he felt Sidney move to straddle his thighs and then settle his weight against Claude. "Come on. You're the one who suggested a day out on the lake."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to fish with you. It means I want to sit here and drink beer."

"That can't possibly be more exciting than fishing. At least then you'd be doing something."

"Anything is more exciting than fishing as far as I'm concerned," Claude answered. He let his eyes open. Sidney made a pretty picture in nothing but a pair of dark swimming trunks and a hat flipped backwards. Claude moved his palm from his stomach to Sidney's, splaying his fingers out along Sidney's abs. He grinned, pleased and a little sleazy, as he added, "Plus, I can't enjoy the view if I'm fishing."

Sidney eyes sparkled with amusement. He put his hand over Claude's, fitting his fingers in the gaps between his, but didn't pull it away. "Must be quite the view."

"Gorgeous," Claude confirmed.

Sidney cheeks went ruddy with the compliment, but he flashed Claude a dimpled smile. He squeezed Claude's fingers a bit, "I've got a pretty nice view too."

"And yet you'd rather be fishing."

Sidney hummed. "I could be persuaded otherwise."

"Oh yeah?" Claude asked, raising an eyebrow. "Even out on the lake where any one could see us?"

Sidney pulled their hands away from his body as he bent over, choosing instead to pin them above their head. He didn't stop until there was no more than a few centimeters between then.

His voice dropped low as he murmured, "It's a very, very nice view."

Claude moved so the hand that had been tucked behind his head was resting on Sidney's jaw. He set his thumb on Sidney's lip.

This moment reminded him of their first kiss. It reminded him of lying on Sidney's bed at his billet family's house, tired from the trip to Rimouski but filled with fondness for a boy ranting about the merits of a charm bracelet kit as a gift for an eight year old. It reminded him of Sidney asking to try something before moving to hover over Claude. It reminded him of the whisper of Sidney's breath against his face as he double checked that it was okay and then the slow, steady movement of Sidney's lips against his.

His train of thought was broken by Sidney pressing a kiss against his thumb.

Claude's lips fell into a soft, affectionate smile.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't still afraid of letting Sidney in again, but well...

Sidney had been the one to initiate their first kiss and one who asked Claude to move in with him and the one who approached Claude about getting back together.

It felt like it was Claude's turn to take a risk. Claude couldn't forget everything that had happened, but he could choose to forgive it and stop letting it keep them from moving on.

He slid his hand up Sidney's jawline and around so his palm rested on the back of Sidney's neck.

"This okay?" Claude asked, the whisper carrying across the small space between them. Despite Sidney's teasing, he wasn't going to start anything without checking.

"A hundred percent," Sidney confirmed.

When Claude lifted up to catch Sidney's lips, it felt like crashing through a rope at the finish line. It felt like moving forward.

 

 

 

 

**iiiiii.**

There wasn't much of the off season left, but what was passed by quickly.

In no time at all, Claude and Sidney were in Philadelphia setting up Claude's new condo.

Claude and Brayden had agreed not to renew their lease before Worlds, so Claude hadn't been thinking about Sidney at all when he bought the place. But as the two of them searched through Ikea for the furniture Claude needed for the new place, it felt right.

Maybe it wasn't a huge house that they could renovate together, but if Claude was being honest he didn't want that.

They had a house together, a beautiful thing on a lake in Canada that they'd spent all summer in, and that place was going to be more permanent than Philadelphia or Pittsburgh. They loved the cities they played for and they were home, but they both knew that they weren't staying in Pennsylvania after they retired.

Sidney couldn't stay in Philadelphia very long since he had to get to Pittsburgh for training camp, but when he left Claude let him go knowing that everything between them was fine and that they'd see each other again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) And another mobile chapter so this is another week to beware of extreme spelling and grammar issues as auto-correct is still doing it's thing. 
> 
> 2) Thomas Rhett's "Die a Happy Man" video was a huge inspiration for the feeling of this chapter and Sidney's thoughts in it. It's a good song so I recommend looking it up. 
> 
> 3) I don't know if I ever mentioned this but Sidney doesn't technically live in Halifax? He lives in Enfield which is on the border of Halifax and Hants? I'm just saying Halifax because it's easier. 
> 
> 4) I never went through a Bieber phase so I didn't know he was from Ontario until I googled "Canadian singers"
> 
> 5) Honestly I loved writing this chapter? It's just pure fluff and I love writing fluff. This is honestly the least angsty chapter of this story and I loved writing it. 
> 
> 6) For anyone who lives under a rock: Sid and Claude sing "Shut Up and Dance with Me" by Walk the Moon. I highly suggest the entirety of their album "Talking is Hard."
> 
> 7) There's a lot of hand holding and hand touching in this chapter. I think both boys would find comfort in that, especially Sidney. Touching each other is a reminder that it isn't a dream, you know?
> 
> 8) For anyone who doesn't know, Peggle is a game which looks very simple but is actually hard as hell. It's got one of the hardest xbox achievements I've ever seen - completely clearing all boards in the game. 
> 
> 9) Claude interludes might be a bit repetitive but I think he'd think about the same thing multiple times before coming to the conclusion he reaches in the end?
> 
> 10) I can't remember if Claude trimmed his hair before the 15-16 season or the 14-15 season but I think it was 15-16? If not then it is now. 
> 
> 11) ON THAT NOTE: CLAUDES HAIRCUT GAVE ME LIFE!! It's like when uve been telling everyone someone's attractive for five years and then suddenly they /see/ it.
> 
> 12) Edited! Please let me know if you still see errors so that I can fix them!


	8. Philadelphia to Pittsburgh (304 miles, 490 kilometers)

**x.**

"Claude," Sidney murmured. "Wake up."

The two of them were in Sidney's house in Pittsburgh. They'd had a few days in-between their final preseason game, on the second, and the first regular season game, on the eighth, so they'd agreed to spend a night or two together before the regular season started and they were limited to only a day or two a month.

"Claude," Sidney repeated, speaking a little bit louder, when Claude didn't stir. He was crouched down at the side of the bed, but now he reached forward. He brushed Claude's hair back out of his forehead as he said, "Come on. I've got to get going."

"Stop," Claude groaned, voice rough with sleep. He didn't open his eyes, just slapped a hand out in a feeble attempt to get Sidney to leave him alone. “You're the one with morning practice. There’s literally no reason for me to get up.”

"I know," Sidney said. He was glad for it too. If Claude had had morning practice, he would have been gone the night before. They wouldn't have gotten to spend the night in bed together. Sidney was always happy to have Claude in bed with him, no matter where they were. "I just wanted to let you know that I was headed out. What time are you leaving?"

"Dunno," Claude mumbled. He was sprawled out on his stomach, cheek pressed into the cotton pillowcase since he had turned his head to talk to Sidney. "Late probably."

Sidney hummed quietly. He scratched at Claude's scalp, loving the way Claude tipped up into the touch and let out a syrupy-warm sound of pleasure. "Stay another night?"

Claude shook his head the best he could without actually getting up. "Practice tomorrow afternoon. Meet you for lunch before I leave?"

Sidney thought about it. He was sure one of his teammates would ask him out for lunch after practice, but he had a whole season ahead of him to spend with them. There was only so many opportunities to spend an afternoon with Claude. "Absolutely. There's a sandwich place near the Consol that Sunshine swears has the best grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches he's ever had. Want to try that?"

"Sure. Text me the address and what time you'll be done with practice."

"'Kay." Sidney moved his hand away from Claude's hair. Balancing himself with one hand on the headboard and one hand on the mattress, he leaned forward to press his lips against Claude's in a quick kiss. "I'm going to head out then. I love you. I'll see you in a few hours."

Claude hummed softly in content then tipped up to press their lips together a second time. "Love you too. See you then."

Sidney felt full with love and affection as he pushed himself to his feet.

He didn't know how he'd gotten lucky enough to be here, to be at a point in his life where he got to play great hockey with guys that he considered his best friends while knowing that the man he was in love with was sleeping in his bed, but he knew that he didn't want to be anywhere else.

He'd let this slip through his fingers once. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure it didn't happen again.

 

 

 

**i.**

Sidney and Claude had a tendency to get wrapped up in each other when they were together, to focus solely on each other when they could, but Sidney knew that that wasn't sustainable anymore. He'd had a reputation for being kind of distant during his first few seasons, always more concerned with going off to call Claude than spending time with the team, but now he couldn't do that.

Now he didn't want to do that.

His team had grown into his family after the break up. They had helped him through one of the hardest times in his life without realizing it and Sidney didn't want to lose the relationships that had built up over that time just because he was over that hurdle.

So in the weeks that followed the NHL season starting, Sidney did his best to find ways to spend time with his teammates without losing any of the time he had with Claude.

When Claude had something to take care of in the afternoons, Sidney would take Sunshine out for lunch. He'd watch as Sunshine ordered things like chicken tenders or bacon sandwiches and chided him for not following the diet plan when he was having so many problems staying in the game. Sunshine always looked vaguely guilty, but not enough to stop him from tearing chicken apart with his fingers and slathering it with whatever dipping sauce he'd gotten that day. On days when Claude was sleeping off a flight, Sidney would take the opportunity to hang out at Tanger or Flower's house. He'd spend the morning helping Tanger and Alex build megablock towers for the toddler to destroy or squeezing under Estelle's plastic table for a tea party with Flower while Vero took care of Scarlett. On nights when the Flyers had a game but the Penguins didn't, Sidney would let himself get dragged to Geno's house for poker night and spend the night checking the Flyers score while Kessel and Horny and Geno took all of his money.

When the Flyers and Penguin's downtime matched up though, Sidney spent his time with Claude in whatever capacity he could.

When they both had the morning off, he'd patter around the kitchen while on the phone with Claude. He'd talk aimlessly while cracking eggs for an omelet or searching through his fridge for things he could put on a breakfast sandwich and wait for Claude to be awake enough to actually carry on a discussion. Then they'd spend a while talking about whatever was on their minds that morning. Sometimes it was Claude complaining about eating oatmeal while Sidney was having omelets and sometimes it was about how their teams had performed the night before and sometimes it was about a weird dream they'd had while sleeping.

When their afternoons off lined up, Sidney would spend his time with a skype call open. Sometimes they'd lounge in their respective living rooms with the same movie on or Sidney would let Claude convince him to watch an episode of one of his shitty TV shows with him. Sometimes Claude would carry his laptop into the kitchen and Sidney would be breathless with laughter as Claude pretended to a master chef while making a grilled cheese or peanut butter jelly sandwich. Sometimes they'd just go about their days with the call open and talk to each other when they had something to say, simply content with the knowledge that the other was there.

When their days off lined up, they took turns traveling to each other. Those were the days when Sidney got to spend the day arguing with Claude about fitting doughnuts into their meal plans and laughing at whatever stories Claude told when they were out for lunch and pressing his lips to every inch of Claude's body at night.

Those days were few and far between, there wasn't much free time in the NHL season and the Flyers and Penguins schedules didn't always line up when there was, but they were the best days of Sidney's week no matter what else had happened.

 

 

 

 **xx.**  

Claude was smashed into the middle of a booth at the bar, Voracek on one side of him with his arm resting along the booth behind Claude and Brayden sitting on his other side putting their empty shot glasses back on the tray, when he felt his phone ring in his pocket.

He didn't have to pick it up to know who it was.

His parents were in town, wanting to be there for Claude's 500th game, but he'd had dinner with them before the game and spoke briefly with them afterwards. They would already be in the hotel room he'd arranged for them, uncaring about what their grown son was getting up to now. He'd spoken to his sister while he was with his parents. The former teammates that he kept in touch with, as well as his agent, had left him brief congratulatory text messages and all three of Danny's boys had sent him snapchats that had made him laugh at an increasingly hard level.

Sidney had spent a good portion of their morning phone call complaining about missing the game when it was such a huge milestone in Claude's career. Claude was touched that he wanted to be there for him, but there were only so many reasons why the captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins would be showing up for a milestone game of his biggest rival.

Given that Sidney’s enthusiasm about it and the fact that he was the only important person in Claude’s life who hadn't congratulated him yet, Claude didn't have any doubt about who was calling him.

Sure enough, when he got his phone out of his pocket he glanced down to find a picture of himself and Sidney on the screen. It was Claude standing in front of the stove in Halifax, a serious expression on his face as he gripped a pan full of pancake batter with one hand and used the other to poke at the batter with a spatula. Sidney was standing behind him with one of his arms wrapped around Claude's waist, his chin hooked on Claude's shoulder, and the other pointing at something in the pan. Taylor had taken the picture during one of her visits and sent it to each of them afterwards.

It was, maybe, a little risky for a contact picture since anyone who looked at it would be able to figure out what his relationship with Sidney was. But, well, Claude was sick of hiding. It'd been over a decade. He wasn't going to shout it from the rooftops since it wasn't really anyone’s business, but he wasn't going out of his way to hide it from the people close to him either.

"Hey," Claude said, catching the attention of everyone at the table. Coots and Simmonds were the only other two who were sitting with them. All of the Flyers that had come out had done their first round of shots together, lifting their glasses to their Captain, but they'd spread out after downing their shots and clapping him on the back. It left him sitting in a booth with his closest friends. "I'm gonna step out for a sec."

"Shots getting to you?" Voracek asked, lips tilting up with amusement.

"I know how to hold my alcohol, asshole. I'm not a rookie," Claude shot back. "I just gotta go take a call."

"Ahh more congratulations," he said.

Claude nodded, because even if this one was a little different it wasn't exactly false. "Yeah. So I'm going to step out. I'll be right back."

"You better be ready by the time we've got our next round of shots," Brayden said as he slid out of the booth to let Claude out.

"Or you could just wait for me," Claude suggested as he stepped away, sliding his thumb across his screen to unlock it as he went. "Since the shots are, you know, to celebrate my five hundredth game. Not just to get you drunk off your ass."

"Now what would be the fun in that?" Brayden called back.

Claude didn't say anything else, having already lifted his phone to his ear and focused on the person on the other end of the line. "Salut, mon pingouin."

Sidney laughed and, even though the bar was filled with chatter and booming music, it was the only thing Claude could hear.

As he pushed his way through a crowded bar filled with his teammates, his best friends and his family, and listened to his boyfriend laugh, Claude was happy.

 

 

 

**ii.**

Claude sat outside the bar talking to Sidney for a few minutes, but most of their celebrating took place over the week afterwards.

It wasn't as though five hundred games was a lot in the scheme of things, provided there weren't any drastic circumstances Sidney would reach nine hundred before the season ended, but five hundred was a lot more than some guys got and Claude was damn proud of himself for getting there. He was going to spend as much time celebrating with his boyfriend as he wanted.

The Flyers had a six day break following Claude's five hundredth game and the Penguins had a homestand, so he spent most of that time in Pittsburgh.

The Penguins had games on the fifteenth and seventeenth of October and practices between them, but Claude didn't mind being on his own for a few hours a day.

The two of them would eat breakfast together before Sidney's practices. With the season having only just started, neither of them were up for breaking their diets quite yet. So instead of having omelets, Sidney made scrambled eggs with beans, tomato, and pesto and they ate the island eating while their knees pressed together under the counter top as they talked. Instead of asking for pancakes like he did in the summer, Claude went out one morning and picked up a thing of banana bread from the bakery down the street. He did, however, convince Sidney to spend the morning in bed as they fed each other small pieces. Sidney complained about the crumbs, but he smiled every time Claude brought his fingers to his lips.

When they finished eating, they usually went out for some fresh air. Some mornings Claude was insistent that this was as much of a vacation as he was going to get during the season and insisted on just sitting on the porch with Sidney by his side and his head tipped back so the crisp Pittsburgh air could blow through his hair. Some mornings Sidney was insistent that even though Claude was off he wasn't and he'd drag Claude out for a run around the neighborhood.

On practice days, Sidney would head out before they got to do much else. Claude would spend the hours he was gone doing whatever caught his attention. Sometimes that meant he lazed around the house and answering the messages his friends sent him asking about his holiday. Sometimes that meant he went out to some of his favorite places in Pittsburgh, usually these were places that he'd discovered during his time here before their breakup and still loved to visit.

However, a practice day also meant spending most of the evening together. They'd entertain themselves with whatever caught their attention that night. Sometimes that meant that Claude cranked up Sidney's stereo and forced him to dance around the room and other times that meant they found a way to fit on the couch together and watched a movie they hadn't seen yet. They usually cooked dinner together on practice nights as well. Claude always made a valiant attempt to help, but usually that just meant chopping vegetables or taste testing whatever Sidney held out for him. They'd spend a while longer together, pattering around the house without much direction, before they fall asleep twisted together in the same bed.

On Sidney's game days the two of them would have a few hours together before Sidney settled into his routine and Claude just went along for the ride. He'd sit at the counter while Sidney busied himself with making whatever game day approved lunch and smoothie he wanted, eating whatever was put in front of him without complaint. He'd long since gotten used to how odd Sidney could be about his routines and he didn't want to be the one to throw them off when Sidney had a game day that night. Games meant that Claude spent the night on Sidney's couch, alone, and texted Danny about just how bad he felt for rooting for the Penguins. That didn't stop him from feeling a burst of pride and jumping to his feet every time Sidney scored a goal.

The Penguins won both of the games they had while Claude was there which meant Sidney came home bursting with energy. Those nights were filled with teeth nipping at skin, playful and teasing, and fingers pressing against hips, wanting and hungry.

They both had games on the twentieth, so on the nineteenth they ate breakfast together before Claude kissed Sidney goodbye and climbed into his car to head back to Philadelphia.

 

 

 

**xxx.**

"I think we should do Christmas in Philadelphia instead of Pittsburgh," Sidney said.

He was lying in his bed with his leg propped up on a stack of fluffy pillows. It's only been a day since he'd injured it in the game against Carolina, but already he was sick of his orders to take it easy and stay off his feet as much as possible. He'd do it since he didn't want to miss more than one or two games, but that didn't mean he was going to like it.

"Yeah?" Claude answered. Sidney had called him as Claude was stepping out of the shower, so he could hear the sound of Claude's dresser sliding open as he searched for clothing. If he wasn't going to be able to play hockey anyway, he wished he could have been there with Claude instead of stuck in his bed alone. "You don't need to stay in Pittsburgh with your trainers?"

"No. The trainers are going to look me over before tomorrow's game, but after that I'm free as long as I stick to my exercises. I'll fly out to Minnesota for the game on the twenty-sixth and they'll check me over again there."

"Alright." He heard Claude shut one of his drawers. His voice was distant, as if he'd set his phone down in order to pull on the shirt or pants he'd found, when he asked, "What about your parents? Are they going to be able to change their flight from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia that quickly during the holiday season? For that matter, are you even going to be able to get here? I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to be driving with your leg like that."

"I can catch a taxi to the airport and you can pick me up when my flight lands," Sidney reasoned. He had one of his hands behind his head while drumming the fingers on the other against his stomach. "And if my parents can't change their flight, I'll buy them a new ticket or I'll just stay here an extra day and they can drive me and my car down to Philadelphia."

"I don't know if that's going to work out as smoothly as you think it's going to."

Sidney felt his gut sink. The last time he'd been injured while he was with Claude it had been his concussion and his reaction to it, the way he'd taken his frustrations out on Claude and acted like his injury was somehow his fault, was what had pushed them apart. He wondered if Claude was pushing against this so much because he thought Sidney would react the same way to this injury.

Tentative and a little afraid of the answer, Sidney asked, "Do you not want to do Christmas together?"

 It wasn't exactly the question he wanted to ask, but it was the one he could get out. They'd been planning on doing Christmas together, just in Pittsburgh instead of Philadelphia, so if Claude had changed his mind then surely it had to do with Sidney being injured.

There was a pause before Claude's voice came back full force, having finished whatever he was doing and picked his phone back up. "What? Of course I want to spend the holidays with you. You're just changing our plans last minute and I'm just not sure how well this whole thing is going to work out considering how horrible it is to be traveling around this time."

Sidney felt a burst of relief sweep through him. His lips stretched in a large smile as he said, "We'll figure it out. I just want to get out of this house."

Claude let out a small snort, "Yeah, well, that I understand at least. That house is way too big for one guy."

"Didn't buy it for one guy," Sidney said, because it was true.

Even if he'd bought this house when he and Claude had been separated, he'd still held this vague sort of hope that one day Claude would be there with him. It wasn't necessarily the type of wish that he'd ever actually expected to come true, but it had been there.

He was glad it had though.

 

 

 

**iii.**

In the end all of their travel plans were rearranged without much fuss and Sidney arrived in Philadelphia on the twenty second to spend the holidays with Claude.

They only had a day to themselves before their parents were flying in.

Considering that they hadn't seen each other in person since October, they made sure to take advantage of the alone time.

Sidney spent the drive to Claude's condo with his hand on Claude's thigh, fingers stroking against the fabric of Claude's jeans. Claude kept both hands on the wheel, Philadelphia traffic was bad enough when there wasn't a foot of snow on the ground, but he kept sneaking these looks at Sidney that made him feel like Claude was going to eat him alive. It wasn't exactly an unwelcome feeling.

When they reached Claude's place, Sidney's bag got tossed onto the floor by the door and then they were heading back to the bedroom. Sidney twisted his fingers in Claude's shirt and pulled him in for kiss after kiss as he walked backwards through the condo. Claude would mumble things in between kisses, letting Sidney know what to watch out for so he didn't bump his injured leg into anything, but other than that he was happy to let Sidney keep them close.

When they reached the bedroom door they spent a while making out against it, Sidney's hands letting go of Claude's shirt in order to slip up the front of it and his hips moving to find friction against the knee Claude had slipped between his legs, before Claude managed to get his hand on the door knob and twist it open.

They stumbled backwards onto the bed, Sidney falling onto his back and Claude hovering above him.

Sidney generally preferred to have Claude fucking him, to be bent over for Claude while he pressed kisses against Sidney's neck or rested his forehead between Sidney's shoulder blades while he panted foul mouthed praises in a confusing mixture of English and French, but that wasn't ideal with his injury.

So instead that night Claude settled his legs on either side of Sidney and pressed one hand against the center of Sidney's chest so he could ride him. They didn't do this often, but when they did Sidney was always fascinated by Claude. That night was no different. He watched Claude take his cock, so eager for whatever he could get, and he watched the way Claude's mouth dropped open every-time Sidney rocked his hips up to meet him. He listened to the pleased little sounds Claude made when Sidney ran his hands up his chest, deliberately lightening his touch when he went over Claude's nipples, and he listened to the steady stream of profanities that slipped from Claude's mouth in whatever language he could grasp in that moment. And the best part of all of it was the way Claude said his name when Sidney wrapped a hand around his cock and the way he rocked between Sidney's cock and hand, greedy for both, until he came.

They spent what seemed like hours fucking.

When they were done they managed to strip the sheets and shove themselves under the shower to wash off, exchanging kisses under the spray, before crawling into bed together.

Spent and satisfied, both of them were happy to go to sleep knowing that the other was going to be there when they woke up.

 

 

 

**xxxx.**

"Claude!"

At the sound of his name, Claude looked up from his phone just in time for Taylor to barrel into him. It was nice to know that even though she was almost twenty, she didn't have any problem trying to squeeze the life out of him.

"Hey Taylor," Claude greeted. He shifted his grip on his phone so he wouldn't drop it when he wrapped his arms around her. He spent a few seconds squeezing her tightly before letting go. As she stepped away from him, he asked, "Where are your parents?"

"Right here." Claude looked up to find Troy and Trina approaching from the direction Taylor had come from. Her mother looked faintly displeased, a sentiment she made clear when she said, "I know your nineteen now, but I'd still appreciate if you didn't go running off like that in a crowded airport, Taylor."

"Alright mom," Taylor said, though she sounded like she was highly considering rolling her eyes.

Before she could, Claude cut in, "Hi Trina, Troy. I hope you guys all had a good flight?"

Troy gave him a small smile, looking like he knew exactly what Claude was trying to avoid with the comment and didn't blame him for it. "Hello Claude. It was fine all things considered. Might have been a bit better if my son hadn't decided to change everyone's travel plans three days before."

"Speaking of," Trina said, gaze shifting from Taylor over to Claude. "Where is Sidney?"

"I left him at the condo with my parents," Claude said. After knowing each other’s family's for so long, after being a part of each other's family's for so long, it didn't feel like such a big deal for them to switch duties when they were in town. "Being stuck in airport traffic for so long or waiting around here might aggravate his leg since he wouldn't get much movement out of it." Before they could ask, he added, "He says it's feel fine, but I'd rather he didn't take any chances, you know? And I figured you wouldn't mind having a different escort."

Stepping up to him, Trina placed her hands on his cheeks and then leaned in to press kisses to both of them. "You, Claude Giroux, are much too good for my son."

Claude's grin spread a little wider as she stepped away. "Well, as long as someone knows it."

"Oh trust me," Taylor said. "We all know it."

Claude couldn't help laughing a little bit at that. He reached out and ruffled her hair. "Alright, I'll take your word for it." Glancing back up at the two adults present, he asked, "Do you guys want me to take you to check in at your hotel or do you want to come over to the condo? I don't think the others would mind waiting a bit longer for us."

Trina answered with a shake of her head, "We'll just check in tonight after we've all had a chance to catch up."

"Alright then."

 

 

 

**iiii.**

As long as they'd been together, Claude and Sidney had never spent a Christmas with both of their families together. There had always been something that kept someone from coming down - Sidney's parents having obligations with his extended family or Claude's parents being busy with work - and now that they were all together Claude realized what he'd been missing.

They'd had gatherings with everyone before, times when Claude's family could fly out to Halifax for a weekend and they all barbecued or something, but nothing felt the way this did.

There was something pleasantly warm that settled when Claude sat in the living room with Sidney in his lap, each of them with one arm around the other, and a cup of hot chocolate on the end table by him as the room roared with the voices of their family members. There was something pleasantly warm about hearing his sister ask Taylor about her first year at college and about listening to Sidney ask Isabelle’s husband about his job. There was something pleasantly warm about his mother offering to refill Troy's coffee when she got up to get herself another drink and about his father laughing with Trina as they shared stories from their offices.

As much as their families had interacted with each other, Claude had always seen them as two separate entities. There was Sidney's family and there was Claude's family. Sitting together in the condo and gearing up to celebrate a holiday that was all about family, however, made Claude feel like they were one giant family.

And that felt like an acknowledgement that they had overcome the most difficult time in their relationship and that no matter how they argued in the future they would get past it. It felt like an acknowledgement that the idea of spending a life time together wasn't just a fantasy born out of teenage infatuation anymore, it was a very real possibility for these two men who had gone through as much as they had and still loved each other at the end of it.

They were going to be together for the rest of their lives. They would play hockey and live in separate houses for now, but one day they would be retired and it would be the two of them growing old together.

And Claude was more than okay with that.

 

 

 

**xxxxx.**

"Surgery?" Sidney echoed.

When he'd pulled his phone out of his locker after practice and found a message from Claude asking that he call him as soon as possible, he'd been caught a little off guard. The fact that Claude was requesting something like that instead of just waiting for whenever they called that night, because it was inevitable that they would talk at some point, had set off a few alarms in Sidney's brain, but he hadn't been expecting this.

"Hip and abdominal," Claude agreed.

If there was ever a time when Sidney hated hockey, it was now. It was when he was confronted with how much this sport he loved could, and would, hurt the people he loved.

"Do you know when?" Sidney asked.

"My trainers want me to do it as soon as possible," Claude said. Sidney heard the but at the end of the sentence even before Claude said it and he had to resist the urge to sigh. "But I'm going to wait until playoffs are over."

Sidney took a moment to process the information and figure out the best way to address his concerns. It wasn't his place to tell him what to do, but it was only February. They had a month and a half of regular season before playoffs even started and there was no telling how far the Flyers would make it if they made playoffs.

He settled on simply asking, "Are you sure that's a good idea? The surgery can wait?"

Claude was quiet for a moment.

Injuries and surgeries were a part of hockey, but that didn't mean they stopped being terrifying. You never really stopped wondering whether this would be the one that ended everything, whether this would be the thing that you couldn't just throw a band aid over and ignore for a few more years.

Sidney wished he was in Philadelphia with Claude. He wished he could be there to help Claude with that fear.

Instead he was sitting in Pittsburgh traffic praying that Claude wasn't pushing off the surgery in order to make sure he had one last chance at the playoffs or that Claude pushing off the surgery wasn't going to hurt him more in the long run.

"It's not ideal," Claude said when he spoke at last. Sidney sucked in a harsh breath. "But both the trainers and my doctor agree that while it's going to get worse and it's going to hurt like a bitch, it shouldn't get bad enough that it's irreparable."

"Shouldn't?" Sidney echoed once again.

"No guarantees," Claude said.

Sidney sucked in a deep breath. He knew he couldn't tell Claude not to do this, knew that Claude would hate it and that if Claude tried to do the same thing to him he'd be livid, but he wanted to so badly. He wanted to tell Claude that a month and a half wasn't worth what he was risking overall, but he knew that wasn't his place and that Claude would have already considered all of his options.

"Okay. If you’re sure," Sidney murmured. He ran his tongue along dry lips. "Talk me through it then. I want to know exactly what you’re supposed to be doing over the next few months and what they’re going to be doing during surgery and what we should expect for recovery."

Even if Sidney couldn't be physically by Claude's side, he was going to be there with him every step of the way.

 

 

 

**iiiii.**

Claude stayed out for three games and when he went back in against the Coyotes he made his five hundredth goal. Sidney was proud of him, ridiculously and stupidly proud of him, and he spent the entirety of a five hour phone call making sure Claude knew that.

But Sidney had also been in love with him for a decade and change.

He knew better than anyone what it looked like when Claude was struggling and he spent March and April watching Claude struggle.

He watched as Claude's percentages dropped because everything hurt too much for him to skate as hard as he usually did or produce as many points as he could've. He listened to Claude hiss in pain over the phone after a particularly hard day and the sound of bagged ice jingling together when Claude walked around with an ice pack attached to his hip to soothe it. He bit his tongue when Claude talked about his doctors appointments and suggestions that that he should reconsider his decision to wait.

Sidney wasn't happy when the Capitals beat the Flyers in the first round, he knew how much the Cup meant to Claude and how badly he wanted it, but he was relieved. He was so relieved that Claude would stop fighting against his body and let the doctors operate. He was so relieved that he wasn't going to have to keep listening to Claude destroy himself.

They can't get Claude in right away, his doctor couldn't exactly keep his entire schedule open when Claude had no idea how long it would be before the playoffs ended for the Flyers, but they get him scheduled to have the surgery in mid-May.

Sidney spent the time in between the Flyers elimination and Claude's surgery, slamming his way through the playoffs.

It wasn’t easy, it's never easy, but it was simple to throw himself into the rough rhythm of playoff hockey when there was worry itching under his skin.

He talked to Claude during the day, listening as he complained about being on pre-surgery bed rest and recounted the stories of every shitty daytime soap opera he had come across when searching for something to watch, and at night he played hockey.

It wasn't an entirely full proof method of distraction, there were still times when Claude would be talking about his hopes the next season and Sidney would feel a pang of worry that Claude had pushed his body far enough that he wasn't going to have a next season, but it worked well enough for Sidney to get through the day.

 

 

 

**xxxxxx.**

Claude was lying on a bed in the hospital, talking to his mom who sat in the chair next to him, when there was the sound of knuckles tapping against the door.

A moment later, Sidney poked his head inside the room and asked, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, 'course," Claude said.

"Well, now that someone else is here to watch you I'm going to call your father," his mother said, rising her feet. She pressed a kiss against Claude's forehead. "He'll want to know how everything's going."

"You don't have to go just because I got here," Sidney objected.

She shook her head, "It's fine, Sidney. I've been with him all morning. You two can enjoy some time alone. I'll be back in a little bit." Sidney looked like he was going to protest more instead of dropping it, so as she went to slip past him and out of the room she patted his chest. "Really, Sid, I'm going to have plenty of time to spend with my son while he's recovering. It isn't bothering me any to get away from him for a while."

"Well, aren't you a caring mother," Claude quipped, even though he knew she didn't really have a problem with staying with him. With Sidney flying around the country for the playoffs, someone had to stay at the condo with Claude for the first few weeks of his recovery and his mother had been all too happy to spend some time with him. When Sidney continued to hover in the doorway instead of stepping forward, Claude lifted one hand to gesture Sidney forward. "I wasn't sure you were doing to make it out."

"I got a flight," Sidney said as he slipped inside. He made his way to the chair on the opposite side of Claude's bed. He'd had a styrofoam box in his hand, the kind most restaurants used for left overs or take-out, and he placed it on Claude's lap before he picked Claude's hand up and twined their fingers together. He brought their hands to his lips, pressing a kiss against the back of Claude's hand. "I wasn't going to stay in Pittsburgh when you had surgery."

"You have to fly to Tampa tomorrow, don't you?" Claude said. He used the hand Sidney wasn't holding to tap one finger against the top of the box in his lap. "This for me?"

"Yes and yes," Sidney said. As Claude worked to pop the box open with one hand, Sidney said, "One more flight isn't a big deal."

Claude hummed, "I guess it would seem that way when you've got another month of constant flights in front of you."

Sidney's fingers tightened around his and out of the corner of his eye Claude could see Sidney's mouth spreading in a grin. "Another month? You think we're going win the cup?"

"I think I'm not going to and if I had to pick someone else it would be you," Claude answered. Talking about the Cup after the Flyers had gotten knocked out of the running so early sucked, but he wasn't just going to ignore it either when Sidney still had a chance at it. Trying to lighten the mood a little, he joked, "Certain people in this league have big enough egos without adding a cup ring to them."

Sidney let out a small laugh.

Before Sidney could respond to Claude's words, he managed to pop the lid on the box open. Sitting inside was two halves of what looked like an extremely gooey and familiar sandwich.

"You brought me a grilled cheese?" Claude asked, a smile spreading across his face as he turned to look at Sidney.

"There's bacon and ham on it too," Sidney pointed out. "I just thought you'd like some real food since you're going to be here for a few days."

Finding the conversation a lot more pleasing than the previous one, Claude squeezed Sidney's hand tightly before pulling his hand away so he could grab the sandwich. "You're my favorite."

Sidney out another laugh. He shifted so his elbows were on the bed and his jaw resting in his palms, a smile settling on his lips as he watched Claude. "You're my favorite too."

 

 

  

**iiiiii.**

So, the Penguins won the cup and Claude was happy for Sid

He was. Really.

It was just that he could help the bitter disappointment that welled in his chest. The Flyers had been knocked out in the first round and Claude had been whisked away for surgery while Sidney had gotten to win the cup for the second time in his career. It was a hard pill to swallow.

As much as it hurt though, Claude didn't want to be bitter about it. He was recovering well from his surgery. He'd have other years when he could win the Cup, years when Sidney would be the one watching him go for it instead of vice versa. This year wasn't one of them and that was going to have to be okay.

He knew how hard Sidney worked, knew what Sidney sacrificed in order to give hockey everything he had, and being bitter about Sidney getting what he worked for seemed so petty and unnecessary.

Yes, he wanted a Cup ring for himself, but he wasn't let that stop him from feeling incredibly happy for Sidney. He deserved everything he got and Claude might have been a little upset, but more than that he was just proud of Sidney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Hello everyone! Two things real quick! 1) I am no longer mobile! 2) I am now in college. I'm actually starting this chapter on my first day of classes. I'm not sure yet if this will have an effect on updates, especially since I'm so close to finishing this monster that I really want to get there, but we'll see!
> 
> 2) Do you know whats really fantastic inspiration for this story? The World Cup of Hockey. Nothing gears me up for Sidney and Claude like seeing them on the same team. 
> 
> 3) This chapter is the return of a very familiar chapter title. Luckily, this chapter was a lot happier than the last one.
> 
> 4) I love writing anything where Sidney reflects on how fucking lucky he is that Claude took him back because I feel like he'll spend the rest of his life feeling that way? 
> 
> 5) Geno having a poker night is absolutely inspired by the recent picture of Team Russia having a poker night at the World Cup. Though I think Sid would be horrible at poker. 
> 
> 6) Writing a season which actually like...just finished is kind of weird considering that most of this fic has been at least a year in the past? That being said, despite how recent it was I'm not TERRIBLY familiar with anything that happened to anyone but the Stars this season so apologies if something was off. 
> 
> 7) Some of you are going to be a little put off that I didn't include Claude and Sidney's actual conversation in the second scene, but what I thought was more important was highlighting what Sidney had been musing on in the interlude prior? That being that they've gotten better at managing their lives. Claude's with his friends and he does take a call from Sidney, but ultimately that night is about his friends and celebrating with them? I hope that makes sense. 
> 
> 8) Section two got so wildly out of hand?? 
> 
> 9) I tried to imagine what kind of lower body injury would keep Sidney out for just one game and the only thing I could come up with was some kind of ankle or muscle thing in his legs? So I made that little detail up. Apologizes if they actually clarified what the deal was - every article I found just said "lower body injury" 
> 
> 10) Interlude three is as close to smut as I get and that's PRETTY CLOSE if I'm being honest. I won't write it straight up, but fuck if I won't give you the best description and leave it up to your imagination. That third interlude actually made this chapter longer. I didn't want to go from that to their parents visit, so I added an extra scene and interlude. 
> 
> 11) There's so much foreshadowing to the future of this relationship (specifically what happens next chapter and the plot of the one-shot that goes with this fic). 
> 
> 12) I took some major liberties with Claude's recent surgery. Hopefully they improved the story?
> 
> 13) Also, apologies for the sharp drop in length between the last few interludes and the first few. The interludes are meant to bridge the scenes together and sometimes something needs more than something else? I hope no one found it too distracting or disappointing? 
> 
> 14) Some of you wanted more expansion on Claude's feelings when Sidney won his first cup, so I tried to give you that this time? Hopefully it was satisfying? It's maybe not as in depth as you may have wanted, but I tried to summarize it? 
> 
> 15) I'm a little unsure about the end of this chapter, but ultimately I didn't really want to start covering the summer until next chapter ebcause there are ~important events~ next summer and I didn't want to accidentally not give myself enough room for those. 
> 
> 16) OKAY SO I might boost the chapter count for this again?? Mostly because I'm unsure if I want a chapter addressing the events after "In Which Geno is Perceptive and Sidney is Forgetful" or if I want to do some more one-shots. We'll see.


	9. Home (Wherever You Are)

**x.**   
Sidney heard Claude approaching before he saw him, so by the time Claude appeared in the doorway he had already marked his place in his book and set it down on his chest.

"I am so sick of this," Claude said. He was standing in the doorway that separated the living room in his condo from the kitchen. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts, black with red stripes on the sides, with one of Sidney's shirts. His surgery had been over a month ago, but he was still walking with crutches. "I was going to make myself grilled cheese and tomato soup. Only, I realized I wouldn't be able to carry the plates to the counter once I made it."

"Are you hungry?" Sidney asked. He pushed himself up, having been lounging pretty far down the couch, in order to slip off the couch easier. "I'll make you something."

"I'm not hungry anymore," Claude grumbled, waving one hand to keep Sidney from moving any further. He hobbled across the room and towards the couch. Sidney knew Claude was far more capable of judging his body limits than Sidney was, but he still kept in eye on him to make sure he wasn't over doing it. When he got to couch he looked down at it in thought for a moment before maneuvering so he could sit between Sidney's legs. "My anger overtook my hunger."

Claude had scooted backwards so his back was against Sidney's chest and his legs stretched out in front of them so Sidney slung one arm around Claude's stomach.

He said, "Are you sure? I don't mind making something."

"I'd rather just nap," Claude argued. "Hopefully when I wake up I won't have to use the crutches anymore."

Sidney hummed before saying, "It won't be that much longer."

"I honestly don't care how much longer it is," Claude answered. Sidney made a small sound of understanding, shifting so he could press his lips against Claude's temple. "I could be rid of them an hour from now and even that would be too long."

"You're being a drama queen," Sidney informed him.

A small smile settled on his lips. He wasn't happy that Claude was so miserable on the crutches, but it was hard not to feel at least a little amused when Claude was tucked against him and being such a little shit. It endearing in it's own way.

"I'm being honest," Claude retorted.

"Well, your honesty is pretty dramatic."

"Well," Claude said, craning his head back so Sidney could see the scowl on his face, "your honesty is going to be the reason you sleep on the couch until I'm off the crutches."

Sidney couldn't help the laugh that came out of his mouth. He bent down to kiss Claude's forehead before saying, "I will not. You love me too much to banish me to the couch for any period of time, much less that long."

"Fucking test me," Claude dared.

Amusement was still bubbling in Sidney's chest, but he chose to just shake his head instead of answering.

He really didn't think Claude was going to banish him to the couch for such a silly thing, not when they'd just spent majority of the season sleeping in different beds, but it was safer to just drop the topic instead of pushing it.

"Exactly," Claude said. He turned away from Sidney, slouching a bit further down before turning to rest his cheek against Sidney's chest. "Just be quiet and let me use you like a pillow while I nap."

"Whatever you say, baby," Sidney agreed. He pressed a third kiss against the crown of Claude's head, warm with affection and fondness for this man in his arms. "Whatever you say."

 

 

 

 **i.**   
Sidney had never really spent an extended amount of time in Philadelphia.

Claude hadn't had his own place for the longest time so any breaks they got during the early seasons of their relationship were spent in Pittsburgh. Both of them had always spent their summers in Canada, in Halifax when they were together or with their families during the breakup. And the last time Claude had had to stay in Philadelphia for injury recovery, Sidney had been a part of the problem not the solution.

So spending the first few weeks of the summer in Philadelphia while Claude recovered from surgery was new for him.

It was nice though.

By the time the Penguins had clinched the cup, Claude had only had a few more days of minimal movement recovery. Given that he'd just come out of the Stanley Cup Sidney really didn't mind having those few days to just take things easy.  
  
So the first few days Sidney spent in the condo were a lot of lying around.

They played a lot of video games. Claude had borrowed a stack of games from his teammates in order to keep himself occupied, so they made their way through everything from Schenn's Assassin's Creed collection to Gagner's older Dead Island games to the Lego Marvel and Batman game's Schultz had bought for his kids. They both made their way through a few of the books that had piled up over the season. Luckily, they spent so much time traveling that there weren't that many they hadn't gotten to already. They also spent a lot of time watching terrible television. There were a few good ones that they went through - they watched Supergirl and Jessica Jones on Taylor's recommendation and caught up on the last seasons of Criminal Minds and Hawaii Five-O - but the amount of bad television they watched far outweighed the good.

When Claude was taken off bed rest, he wasted no time in gathering his crutches and dragging Sidney out around Philadelphia. They didn't see a whole of each other during the season and when they did they were usually a bit too focused on each other to really go out on the town, so this was Sidney's first time visiting some of Claude's favorite places around the city.

Claude showed him one of his places to eat in town. It was a food truck parked not far from the Wells Fargo Center which sold that Claude swore was the best cheesesteak in the city. Sidney stood behind Claude as he ordered for them and carried on a conversation with the two in the truck. Ryan, the cashier, had known Claude on sight and had already called the order out when they reached the counter. The cook was his sister, Sophia, and she spent the entire time she was cooking asking Claude about how he and almost the entirety of the Flyers lineup was doing.

They went to a Phillies game because Claude actually liked other sports. Sidney hadn't been to a lot of baseball games before, he'd gone to a Pirates game once or twice because other guys on the team liked them, but there was something about watching Claude swear at umpires and throw his hands up for home runs that enchanted him towards it a little more. They left the game a little early since getting back up the stadium steps in a crowd wasn't going to go well for Claude when he was on crutches. The lack of crowd was what had Sidney laughing as Claude attempted to use his crutches even though he was tipsy off the shitty american beer he'd drank instead of actually trying to help.

At Sidney's request, they'd even spent a day out at some of the historical sights in Philadelphia. For as much as Claude liked to make fun of Sidney for liking history, he seemed to know almost more about the places they'd visited than the tour guides did. When Sidney asked him about it, Claude just shrugged and said there'd been a few rookies interested in visiting places like this when he was showing them around. He'd picked up fun facts from other people he'd been on a tour with or from things he'd read around town.

The thing was that Philadelphia was a huge part of Claude's life that Sidney had been largely absent from.

Being apart of that? Seeing the places Claude loved to be at in his city and meeting the people in his life that he had casual friendships or acquaintances with?

That felt a lot like finding the one piece of the puzzle that had been missing for the entirety of their relationship.

 

 

  
 **xx.**   
"Look," Claude said as he stepped out of the back area and into the waiting room. He had a slip of paper in his hand letting him know he had to come back again, but more importantly, "No crutches!"

Sidney had been reading a magazine while he waited for Claude, but when Claude had spoken he'd looked up at him. A smile stretched over his lips as he raked his eyes over Claude. He echoed back, "No crutches?"

Claude couldn't feel anything but relief and happiness as he repeated, "No crutches!"

"That's great," Sidney said.

There was a moment were the two of them just stared at each other. Claude was grinning so widely that his teeth were showing and Sidney's dimples in full display. He was just about to suggest they change their lunch plans and go somewhere more high class than they'd planned to celebrate when Sidney blurted out, "Marry me."

The smile dropped from Claude's face as his lips fell open in an O and his eyes widened. He heard one of the receptionists - probably Teresa because she was a bit of a gossip - let out a small gasp. He knew they were probably all pressed against the glass, but all Claude could see was Sidney. "What?"

Sidney cringed a bit. "I didn't mean that."

"You didn't mean to ask me to marry you?" Claude said. He probably would have been more offended, and maybe a little heartbroken, if he wasn't still stunned by the suddenness of the proposal.

"No, I meant that," Sidney said. "I just didn't mean for it to come out like that. I haven't even bought the rings yet. Fuck. I just couldn't stop thinking about how happy you look and how I want to spend the rest of my life making you that happy and then the words just-"

"Wait so," Claude said, feeling like he had the world's worst case of whiplash, "you do you want to marry me? And even though you didn't mean to propose right at this moment, you were considering doing it soon?"

Their eyes met as Sidney admitted, not looking even a little unsure of himself, "Well, yeah. It's always been you and it's always going to be you. I know I don't have to marry you to spend the rest of my life with you, but I want to."

Claude took a deep breath as he tried to process the last few minutes.

He felt the same way that Sidney did, knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life in love with Sidney, but this was huge. They'd almost torn each other apart a few years ago and they'd only gotten back together a year ago. Was it really wise to be committing to the rest of their lives with each other when all of that was so recent?

When he thought about the last year though, it felt like they'd been building up to this.

He'd been imaging a future with Sidney since he was a teenager, but even before the break up that future had been far away. He'd known he was going to marry Sidney, but neither of them had been in any sort of place to be committing to that.

Recently though, that future hadn't seemed so far away. Claude didn't fear them falling apart again because he knew how much they'd grown while they were apart. They weren't boys who relied solely on each other anymore. They were men who had matured and strengthen, but still found solace each other. Maybe things would get bad again, but they both had support systems they could escape to that would give them time to cool off until they were ready to apologize.

Once Claude realized that, it wasn't hard to come up with a decision.

"Yes," he said. He'd been looking down at his feet as he thought, but now he lifted his gaze to meet Sidney's eyes. He repeated. "Yes."

"Yes?" Sidney repeated back, eyes widening a bit in surprise. "Yes to...?"

"To marry you," Claude finished with a nod. He felt a smile spread across his lips, because saying it in such plain terms made it real, as he said, "Yes to marrying you."

 

 

 

 **ii.**   
Sidney had been the one to drive them to the doctor's office, so while he was driving them to lunch Claude sat in the passengers seat playing with his ring finger.

They couldn't wear wedding rings when playing, not when the gloves came off for fights so often, but he'd seen the other guys in the league deal with that in different ways. Some guys would tuck them away in their bags, leaving them in the locker room where they knew they wouldn't get lost, while other guys wore them on chains around their necks so their rings were always with them. He'd always thought it made more sense to tuck it away, but now that he was confronted with the idea of having a ring that showed his connection to Sidney he was starting to understand why some people were so reluctant to part with them.

He remembered being a kid and seeing his dad take off his ring when they were pulling the guts out of carved pumpkins. The area where his ring sat had always been a little discolored, noticeably paler than the rest of his finger. He wondered if one day he would reach that point as well, if he would spend so much time with it on that the skin where it rested was so unused to the sun that it was clearly different from the rest, or if taking it off for hockey would stop that from happening.

He wondered if he'd pick up a habit of twirling it the way so many other people seemed to. Danny hadn't been wearing a wedding ring any longer when Claude moved in with him, but he'd been so used to it being there that he would rub two fingers over the area where it used to rest. Claude had asked him about it once and Danny had shrugged it off, saying that he used to do it because it made him feel close to Sylvie and he'd never really stopped after the divorce.

Claude had never really considered any of it before, but when they pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant they were eating at he realized that he was excited for all of it. Neither he or Sidney were big jewelry people, Sidney wore his cross but that was about it, so they'd never really exchanged gifts like that. Claude still wasn't much of a jewelry person, but the idea of having a tangible representation of his relationship with Sidney that he could touch or look at when they were apart during the season was appealing.

They had ended up going to a slightly better restaurant but it wasn't the type of place with table clothes and menus without prices that made them both uncomfortable, but other than that lunch was a pretty normal affair. There was a bit more touching then usual, Sidney kept reaching out everytime Claude's hand was on the table to tap his finger against the spot where a wedding ring would rest, and they were both smiling a bit wider than they normally did, but other than it was all of the same conversation as always.

It was when they arrived back at the condo that they're actually started celebrating.

Sidney pushed Claude against the wall the second they were inside, pressing their lips together. When he'd pulled apart, he'd started pressing kissing to each inch of Claude he could reach. As he did he murmured against Claude's skin, telling him how much he loved him and calling him his fiancee and promising to make over and over that he was going to make Claude so happy. Claude felt such a sharp burst of happiness every time Sidney opened his mouth that he couldn't do anything but laugh, bright and giddy, each time Sidney called him his fiancee and smile so hard that his cheeks hurt.

 

 

 

 **xxx.**   
Sidney let out a soft sigh as he slipped through the sliding door, shoving his phone into pocket as he went, and stepped into the house from the balcony.

"Remind me to unblock my mother's number in the morning," Sidney said as he entered the kitchen.

Claude was sitting at the island in there, flipping through what looked like the list of exercises his PT had given him. It'd been two weeks since he'd been told he could come off the crutches. He'd been going to one of the Flyers therapists, but since they were planning on returning to Canada soon they'd come up with a routine that Claude would be able to maintain by himself.

He glanced away from the packet when he heard Sidney speak, raising an eyebrow, "You blocked her?"

"She's called me ten times today to talk about the wedding. She's been coming up with a list of all the family we need to invite and I don't even know who half of them are," Sidney said. He made his way over to the fridge and peered at what was inside. "How do you feel about chicken and rice for dinner?"

Claude countered, "Throw some cheese on it and bake it and I'm sold."

Sidney reached down to pull out of the drawers out, double checking that he had the right kind of cheese for the meal Claude was thinking, before nodding, "Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

As he set about pulling the ingredients he'd need out of the fridge, he added, "Honestly, though, every-time my mom gives me a new list of things to think about for the wedding, the more I realize how much I don't want the type of wedding she's thinking of."

"Mmm." His back was turned to Claude, so though he heard Claude messing around in the drawers under the island he had no idea what it was he was looking for. "What type of wedding do you want then?"

"Small," Sidney answered without hesitation. "I definitely don't want my entire family there. Just our families and the Lemieux's."

"I'd want Danny and the boys to be there," Claude added.

"Our families, the Lemieux's, and Briere's," Sidney corrected. He heard something scratching, almost like the sound of a pencil or pen against paper, but was too focused on thinking about the question to worry about it. "And I don't want to have it in a church."

"We could do it in the backyard," Claude suggested. "By the lake?"

"That sounds awesome," he agreed, nodding his head a bit as he squatted down to grab a baking pan from the lower cabinets. He'd had to buy them earlier that summer because Claude's cooking abilities were too limited for him to have considered buying them when he'd first moved into the condo. "We could order a cake, but we wouldn't have to cater anything. We could just ask our moms to make the stuff we like."

"Your mom makes awesome baked mac and cheese," Claude observed.

"Yeah and I'm pretty much in love with that duck your mom made for Christmas," Sidney said. "Add a few other things to the list and viola we have a wedding meal without having to wait for a catering company to have an opening."

"Anything else?"

Sidney barely thought about it before saying, "It'd be this summer. I don't want to wait a year to marry you. I just want to do it and then spend the rest of the summer honeymooning on some island."

"Maui looks pretty," Claude said. "We could go there."

"Sure," Sidney agreed with a small nod.

There was a small moment before Claude said, "You know, I think this is pretty doable."

"What is?" It was now that Sidney looked behind him to see that Claude had replaced the packet of exercises with a memo pad. At Sidney's question, Claude turned the pad up and showed Sidney a list of all the things he'd just listed. "What, the wedding?"

"Yeah," Claude agreed with a nod. "It'd be harder to do if we were inviting more people, but Danny's not doing anything summer so it's not like I'd be pulling him away from anything and I'm pretty sure Mario is in Canada this time of year anyway. It might be a little difficult to book a resort in Maui, but I don't mind throwing a bit of money around to fix that."

Sidney stared at Claude for a moment. In the end, the only thing he could up with to say was, "And your okay with this?"

"My mom's been a part of the crazy wedding planning too," Claude said, looking amused. "And this plan sounds a lot more us than anything they've been planning."

 

 

  
 **iii.**   
Claude's mother had already gotten to plan a big wedding for Isabelle and Sidney's still had Taylor to spoil so while neither of their mother's were ecstatic about the change in plans, neither of them were too upset.

Sidney was glad they didn't kick up too much of a fuss about it because he honestly didn't know what he was going to do if they did. His mother would have castrated him for eloping, but he'd honestly been considering it if they couldn't find a way around having a big wedding and waiting until next summer.

Their last two weeks in Philadelphia were spent making the necessary arrangements for them to get married when they returned to Canada. As much as Sidney didn't really want to have the house closed up for an entire year, they decided that they would only spend two days in the house before getting married and flying off to Hawaii for the rest of the summer. They'd fly straight from their honeymoon to Pennsylvania for their respective training camps.

Claude was right about both Danny and Mario's plans for the summer, so there wasn't much of a problem in getting them and their families to Halifax on such short notice. The biggest issue came from Claude telling Cameron that he could be the ringbearer. Caelan and Caron took it was a sign that Cameron was his favorite and spent the next few days sending Claude a continuous list of every hockey player they liked more than him. Sidney couldn't help laughing when he noticed that the boys had reached a point where they were just listing Flyers, but also including players they'd never met like Ovechkin and Toews.

Figuring out how they were going to set everything up ended up being the biggest challenge of the entire thing. Neither of them were really keen on the idea of being walked down the aisle by their parents as if they a bride, but they didn't really want to just walk out either. In the end they decided that Claude would walk down their make-shift aisle first followed by Cameron with the rings and Alexa, who despite being nineteen had claimed firm dibs on the role of flower girl, before Sidney walked out.

It seemed a little ceremonial considering there would just shy of a dozen people at the wedding, but the ceremony was what made the whole thing a real wedding rather than just an elopement party.

 

 

  
 **xxxx.**  
Claude could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he watched Cameron step out out of the backdoor and start making his way down the aisle.

They'd set up the chairs so that Mario and his family could sit on the left side of the aisle with Sidney's family while Danny and the boys could sit on the right side with Claude's family, so it was easy for Claude to lock on to Danny. He could have sought out either of his parents instead, but Danny was Claude's best friend for a reason. He'd been a calming presence during Claude's first few years in Philadelphia, when everything had been constantly hectic and influx.

Everyone was turned to watch as Cameron walked down the aisle, carrying the small black pillow with Sidney and Claude's wedding bands on it, but Danny must have felt Claude's eyes on him because he glanced away from his son and over at Claude.

He raised an eyebrow when their eyes met, mouthing, 'Okay?'

Claude took a minute to think about it. All he could think about the entire time he was helping his father set out chairs, Sidney banished to help their mothers set everything up inside for the reception so that the two of them didn't run into each other, was that he was going to be married to Sidney by the end of the day. The thought had made him shaky and nervous, but more than that it had made him happy and excited.

He nodded, mouthing back, 'Fine. Excited.'

Danny's lips turned up, his smile widening a bit, and he nodded once before turning away from Claude.

When Claude directed his gaze back towards the door, he realized that Cameron had already reached him and Alexa was halfway down the aisle.

When she reached the end of aisle and made her way to her spot off to Sidney's side of the split.

There was a shift in the music playing, Isabelle was controlling the stereo with a small remote in her purse, before the door slide open one last time.

Claude caught his breath as Sidney appeared in the doorway. He was dressed in a nice black suit, nicer than the ones he wore for game days, but his hair was sticking up at odd angles like he'd been running his hands through it. Given the fact that Sidney looked every bit as nervous and excited as Claude was, he felt pretty confident that was exactly the reason why Sidney's hair was such a mess.

Claude felt all of his nerves slide away as he thought about it, his lips stretching up into a wide grin.

Sidney was a nerd, but he was Claude's nerd.

He was Claude's past, present, and future all wrapped up in one and Claude honestly couldn't wait to face that future with Sidney by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Okay! Last Chapter! It's a bit bittersweet since I've had so much fun writing this fic, but I'm also really happy to write such a happy ending for Claude and Sid! If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading the one shot in this series currently and maybe subscribing? I'm planning on doing two or three more one-shots before I shift my focus elsewhere. 
> 
> 2) On that note: thank you to everyone who has commented, kudoed, and bookmarked for the course of this fic but special thank you to CrazyJ whose been leaving me awesome comments and feedback since the very first chapter. 
> 
> 3) I don't know how long it would have taken for Claude to actually recover from his surgery, so this is all just speculation for plot purposes?
> 
> 4) Honestly I'm a sucker for domestic couples having serious conversations while doing simple things like making dinner and that shows a lot in this fic. 
> 
> 5) I think I would have liked to write a bit more about their mothers being excited for their wedding, but I didn't want this chapter to be too long. 
> 
> 6) The World Cup of Hockey doesn't exist in this first so Claude and Sid are free to just enjoy their honeymoon up until the event of "Geno is Perceptive"
> 
> 7) Honestly, I like the way this fic ended. I didn't want it to go out on a bang. I wanted it to be slow and sweet, the way I tried to develop this relationship as a whole.


End file.
